Stupid Birthday Rituals

[old tup]

Back In the 60s It got to be a regular ritual among my drinking compadres that on your 21st you had to be falling down drunk before closing time was called.It allways was in another town or other away from our usual haunts,a large coach was hired sometimes two,they were always full with friends and their ladyloves.On my 21st we went to The Dolphin at Wakefield,on arrival it was[What are you drinking ---]at this time I was a heavy drinker anything was my tipple so it was a rum and a beer chaser,unbeknown to me a vodka was slipped in every drink.About an hour before closing we all piled into a pub nearby which had a dance floor and a live band,everybody was dancing having a great time but I was not playing by the script,I was still standing!.I went to the bar and was presented with a pint of some concoctionwhich I drank half,as soon as it hit my stomach I felt dodgy and retired to the gents and turned myself inside out.On my return I quaffed the remainder,a big mistake!the world started to spin,the next thing I,m in the middle of the dance floor knocking people as I stumbled towards a table,I grabbed it fell backwards taking all the drinks and glasses bottles etc on top of me on the dance floor,Next thing a big ugly landlord,s telling me Im barred and to get out,which I would if my legs would work,my mates dragged me out to the coach and dropped me on the pavement at the door then lit up and had a smoke while I lay there,I was concious but nothing would move,Then the local wino staggered up to me and asked if I was mending a puncture on the front wheel,so I gave him the sex and travel reply which he did.Later my mates carried me all the way down Liversey St to our cottage ,a long haul,on arrival they opened my mini-van and chucked me in covering me with my overcoat,they thought better of waking up pops,his fame went before him,now this was in February and it was freezing,I woke up in the early hours teeth chattering,half frozen to death,my sister let me in helping me to bed.Next morning I awoke to my younger bro retching violently,I was covered in sick and the brown stuff,a bucket of hot water was put in the room to clean myself,I had to throw the mattress and bedclothes out the window to be burned.For two weeks all I could stomach was rice pudding and to this day certain liquers make me retch ,christ knows what was in that last pint,thinking back it was stupid and dangerous but we were young and foolish!