I was a Bully at School

[MC Spyda]

Yes bullies are cowards who think the best way to get on in life because you have not the intellect to succeed any other way is to pick on someone who will not fight back. Bullies never pick on anyone who would be likely to put up a fight and win

 

Yes, some bullies do it for that reason, but you can't lump them all together like that. Some do it for other reasons. Some do it simply because they find it funny for example, and in some cases it's not until they are much older that they realise how bad their actions were and how they have affected the people they bullied. Some of the most intelligent kids can be bullies.

[MC Spyda]

I used to think that, too. Then I got to be forty something and lived long enough to see karma kick the crap out of more than one person who was king of the world back in the day. Believe me, people get fat, they get sick, they go bald. They develop drinking habits. A business that once seemed unstoppable goes down the drain. Fancy houses in exclusive gated communities get foreclosed on. They are reduced to selling their personal belongings on ebay and their furniture on Craigslist. Their kids go to a community college instead of a university because they're broke.

 

Sometimes people are just unlucky, which is sad. But sometimes they're so arrogant, or so spoiled, or so accustomed to always being top dog they think they're ten feet tall and bulletproof.

 

There's no excuse for being a bully. Kids, while not excusing their behavior which should be corrected, haven't lived long enough to really see the error of their ways. They know it's wrong, but they don't realize how long lasting it can be. Both for the kids who suffer as victims and the bullies who when they become adults, have to live with knowing they made someone else miserable and are powerless to go back and change it. Your saying you'd apologize indicates you have done some self reflection and you have some compassion. Good for you.

 

True, those things do happen, but I don't believe it has anything to do with bad things that they have done in the past. Karma to me simply doesn't exist. It is up there with unicorns and the flying spaghetti monster.

 

I do agree with your last paragraph. I guess I just feel that this thread is quite personal for me, because I did do my fair share of bullying. It wasn't all physical, I was quite quick to tease as well. To me it was just a bit of fun, nothing more, but now i have matured, I realise that it isn't something that someone should do for fun, and I would definitely not want my kids to do the same to other kids.

[Kaimani]

My bold

 

What an appalling person you must be, if you can freely admit to making other people's lives a misery but say you don't feel ashamed of it!

 

I wonder if you'll still have the same attitude about "survival of the fittest" when you get old and incapable of physically defending yourself? If your life is made a misery by young people bullying you, for example, will you just accept it, because they're just trying to find their place in life?

 

to be fair, he was a kid when he did the bullying. he's a grown man now and am sure has learned whatever lessons life taught him. would it make him any more of a 'better' individual if he went around with crippling guilt and remorse for things he did when he was a kid?

[Chris_Sleeps]

True, those things do happen, but I don't believe it has anything to do with bad things that they have done in the past. Karma to me simply doesn't exist. It is up there with unicorns and the flying spaghetti monster.

You're taking 'karma' as literal, which isn't the point of buddhism. You may disagree with the notion, many do, but the main idea is that if you put bad into the world you will get bad back. It is possible to be a multi-millionaire with a Playboy-bunny wife, but the world will never see when karma does strike and he realises it is all a hollow pleasure and life is eternal suffering. On the other hand a quiet monk may be rewarded with endless joy, just by sitting and being happy.

 

Karma isn't some supra-natural justice.

[Kaimani]

Yes bullies are cowards who think the best way to get on in life because you have not the intellect to succeed any other way is to pick on someone who will not fight back. Bullies never pick on anyone who would be likely to put up a fight and win

 

the idea that bullies lack intellect is a myth people use to make the victims feel better. there are just as likely to be dumb bullies as the general population of students. the same for intellect.

[ukdobby]

Always thought I was in the top 6 at school and never hit anyone unless they came onto me 1st.

[Conscious]

I was bullied when I was primary school, until I started fighting back when I was about 8, after my mother sent me to school with the orders to beat the bully up.. I went to school and did just that, it was easy. I was a big lad but soft natured until then. Slowly I made my way up through the pecking order in that school, until I'd had quite a few fights and gained a lot of confidence in myself. No one in that school could touch me any more, and after I beat up the "hardest" in't school, I was known as the toughest.

 

Then came secondary school, I never had any problems.

 

You did get people trying it on but they quickly got put in there place without having to resort to physical, so I agree that the bullies are in fact cowards.

 

I spent most of my time defending weaker people who were getting picked on. I had nothing to prove to any one, I was working from being 12 years old doing heavy lifting, and I was a nasty, quick and intelligent fighter, so I was confident if I needed to fight, it would be quite one sided.

 

I'm in my 20's now and I'm the same, people know I don't take any **** but on the other hand I don't act cocky and treat people with manners and respect. My reputation has been built around word of mouth, from the friends who have been there when it's kicked off. I have been known to take on groups of men in a fight and come out on top very quickly. But it takes an awful lot of pushing before the button is pressed.

 

Oh and through confidence in myself I am doing pretty well in life. Running my own business. I know if I put my mind to it I can do what I want.

[Shogun]

As a lad I was educated in a military school and I had to learn how to fight and look after myself very fast,the regime was hard and no one gave an inch, if you were weak you were out, they showed me how to look after my self and have self belief and confidence,all backed up with with sports running boxing and fitness, so as a kid I was fit strong and healthy and a good fighter,my Dad learnt me write from wrong and fair play,I had a good life as kid and wanted for nothing,my problem was when my Dad left the army and I had to go to mainstream school, and I was different to the other kids in all ways,I was to hard and to aggressive and competitive in all things and I found it all to easy to get my own way with intimidation and nastiness,I thrived on competition so there was no way I would pick on a weaker kid there was no merit in that, in fact I would look after most of the weak kids and make sure they were OK as for being thick at school no I was in the top few in some subjects and according to the army I was classed as very intelligent, people always think of the flashman types when they hear the word bullies but no there are different kinds of bullies,I must admit to feeling sorry for some of the things I did back then and if I had a chance I would like to say sorry to a few people,I had a good Career in the army,and afterwards ran my own business

[Glamrocker]

I was never a coward and not in disguise, quite the opposite,I was in the army and did my bit,and never shirked any duties and stood up to some serous people.

I think its just an excuse people use calling all bullies cowards as you saythere are/were bullies who are quite the opposite ,I think in bullies we see mans true nature stripped down,as you say the survival of the fittest etc,I was bullied at school and eventually got fed up with it and fought back,believe me not every bully lies down when confronted it was a painful period but it worked I was left alone and the bullies learned a little bit more of life.

[Fishcake]

I think as adults we hang on to the bullying of the past. I was bullied at school, not loads, but enough. I was one of the smallest kids in the year. Because I was an intelligent kid, I used to bully others verbally and could quickly get a group of kids turned on one kid and I used that to effect and to "fit in". That is bullying too and probably worse than kids from broken homes bullying as I was smart enough to hink it through.

 

Anyway as I was physically bullied I trained a lot and sparred lots as I got to the end of school, then ended up looking for trouble, getting a job on the door in a pub in town and thinking I was suddenly a bit tasty. I was lucky not to get hammered as being violent wasn;t the real me but a reaction to what happened, while I could look after myself I was by no means a hard man that I was acting like. From being 16 - 22 ish I like to kick off and have a scuffle, but I was proving nothing except I was an immature prat (that hasn't changed too much, well I am not violent but still immature and silly).

 

I have seen some of the kids, now adults obviously or that would be really odd, who bullied me when I was little and I have no hard feelings towards them now. We all had our problems and a lot of us bullied without realising what we were doing, maybe to deflect attention or just to fit in.

 

Anyway rambling thoughts over