relost Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Hi All, The story goes.. My partner remembers in the early 90s (he was early teens at the time), that the CSA were chasing his dad due to a woman making a claim he had fathered a child (female) to her a couple of years before he fathered my partner. His dad always vehemently denies the rumours, and told CSA the child wasn't his. They stopped chasing him after that. My partner asked his mum about this yesterday and she states that it did happen and my partners dad did admit to a one night stand with the woman, but denied he was the childs father. My partner has no relationship whatsoever with his father due to his lack of ability when it comes to being a father. His dad will speak to him if he is called, but he makes no effort. Last night, my partner called his dad and his dad said yes it did happen, but it wasn't his child. My other half does not believe this, along with other family. He asked his dad if he knows of the name of the girl, he said he did not, yet he remembers the mothers surname, and supplied him with it. With only a surname of a mother who may have married once or more, he will struggle to find his possible half sister. We are sure he must know here first name, after all who sleeps with someone and knows their surname but not their Christian name? Can anyone advise if my partner is to contact CSA, will they supply him with any info, names etc, or try to contact them on my partners behalf? He is not sure where to start looking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denlin Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Hi All, The story goes.. My partner remembers in the early 90s (he was early teens at the time), that the CSA were chasing his dad due to a woman making a claim he had fathered a child (female) to her a couple of years before he fathered my partner. His dad always vehemently denies the rumours, and told CSA the child wasn't his. They stopped chasing him after that. My partner asked his mum about this yesterday and she states that it did happen and my partners dad did admit to a one night stand with the woman, but denied he was the childs father. My partner has no relationship whatsoever with his father due to his lack of ability when it comes to being a father. His dad will speak to him if he is called, but he makes no effort. Last night, my partner called his dad and his dad said yes it did happen, but it wasn't his child. My other half does not believe this, along with other family. He asked his dad if he knows of the name of the girl, he said he did not, yet he remembers the mothers surname, and supplied him with it. With only a surname of a mother who may have married once or more, he will struggle to find his possible half sister. We are sure he must know here first name, after all who sleeps with someone and knows their surname but not their Christian name? Can anyone advise if my partner is to contact CSA, will they supply him with any info, names etc, or try to contact them on my partners behalf? He is not sure where to start looking Try Salvation Army they are very good at that sort of thing:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennycakes Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 i doubt the csa will be able to help you due to confidentiality of people try here http://www.itv.com/beontv/longlostfamily/default.html please dont give up,try facebook,friends reunited,and specialist searchers good luck:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
relost Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 Try Salvation Army they are very good at that sort of thing:D Hi thanks for your comment. I know we have lots of options, which is good. I've posted this thread specifically to find out if CSA can help, as this will save a lot of dead ends. Thanks for your help though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoop Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 Hi thanks for your comment. I know we have lots of options, which is good. I've posted this thread specifically to find out if CSA can help, as this will save a lot of dead ends. Thanks for your help though Just ring them in the morning, that will be the best way to find out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
relost Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 Just ring them in the morning, that will be the best way to find out. Hi. Thanks.. this is what we intend to do tomorrow.I have a couple of hours to kill, so thought it may be worth doing a thread as there may be someone with a similar experience/ who knows CS ins and outs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riche Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 You should get more that Half a shilling from the CSA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
relost Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 If the CSA stopped chasing him, it is likely someone else was put in the frame for it - they don't stop purely because the supposed father says it isn't his. I did think this, but if my other half was 13 when CSA were chasing his dad, this would have made the girl around 15. They may have stopped chasing him as she reached 16 and was supporting herself, and as such no longer classed as a child? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Star Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 I did think this, but if my other half was 13 when CSA were chasing his dad, this would have made the girl around 15. They may have stopped chasing him as she reached 16 and was supporting herself, and as such no longer classed as a child? She also may not be your partners sister? Why look for someone you may or may not be related to? Before helping your partner, you need to know absolutely why he wants to find someone who may prove not to be a relative? I was once tracked down by someone who may be a cousin, but neither they nor I can find any proof whatsoever... Have to say I wasn't especially thrilled - I have loads of cousins I don't have anything in common with, I really didn't need any extras... It's a strange and delicate matter seeking strangers out who you could be related too - I almost did the same and wanted to seek out my great grandfather's family - but after the cousin fiasco, I decided that if I wasn't keen on being 'landed on' they may not be either... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
relost Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 She also may not be your partners sister? Why look for someone you may or may not be related to? Before helping your partner, you need to know absolutely why he wants to find someone who may prove not to be a relative? I was once tracked down by someone who may be a cousin, but neither they nor I can find any proof whatsoever... Have to say I wasn't especially thrilled - I have loads of cousins I don't have anything in common with, I really didn't need any extras... It's a strange and delicate matter seeking strangers out who you could be related too - I almost did the same and wanted to seek out my great grandfather's family - but after the cousin fiasco, I decided that if I wasn't keen on being 'landed on' they may not be either... Because he wants to know his sister if he has one. I am hardly going to post sensitive details on here, but according to several sources it is completely true and as such he wants to find out some more info. I appreciate your concern but this thread isn't about why or what ifs, it was to ask if CSA can help . Your situation may be very different, and by the sounds of it is. Just because his father is too selfish to face up to his responsibilities to his 3 children he admits to, and possible this elusive daughter, does not meant that he should not be able to try and forge a relationship with her should the story be true. I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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