Giving kids freedom to develop own sexuality

[kittenta]

I'll be honest and say I don't understand their reasoning.

 

I allow my kids to play with what they want to. My daughter loves cars and Ben Ten toys which are primarily seen as 'boys toys'. I don't care, she enjoys them and it keeps her quiet .

 

I could understand it if they'd perhaps had an older child that wanted a sex change later in life or something but why keep the youngest a secret and not he elder two?

 

I can't see it lasting long anyway, the older kids will soon tell 'storm' what he/she is and if they don't, the kids at school certainly will.

[Kaimani]

How is it "clear" these parents don't care?

 

I personally think this is a brilliant idea and takes kids one step closer to being self aware people.

 

If parents spent more time in control of their own children, teaching and in turn learning, then the world invarably would be so screwed up. It's all about the parenting, which seems lost on folk these days.

 

you have points here. good ones.

 

a child does need to be self-aware enough to be comfortable in their own being. whatever form that being might take.

 

but you do need to give them a foundation on which to base an identity. too blank a canvas can overwhelm. gender, sexuality and race, for now, has to be part of any foundation a child has, i think.

[Tatman]

How is it "clear" these parents don't care?

 

I personally think this is a brilliant idea and takes kids one step closer to being self aware people.

 

If parents spent more time in control of their own children, teaching and in turn learning, then the world invarably would be so screwed up. It's all about the parenting, which seems lost on folk these days.

 

My bold.

So you think that depriving them of a sexual identity is a good way to 'control' them do you? Its abuse, the kids going to grow up having the pee taken out of it and will probably end up swinging from some tree branch in years to come.

[Tatman]

I can't see it lasting long anyway, the older kids will soon tell 'storm' what he/she is and if they don't, the kids at school certainly will.

 

My fear for this child is that when the kids at school do tell it wht it is, and they will. They wont be sensitive or understanding when they do it.

Like i say, swinging from a branch and it will be all the parents fault.

[Grandad.Malky]

The child's grandparents do not know Storm's sex

 

I can see that going down well.

[Kaimani]

My bold.

So you think that depriving them of a sexual identity is a good way to 'control' them do you? Its abuse, the kids going to grow up having the pee taken out of it and will probably end up swinging from some tree branch in years to come.

 

there's an uncomfortable thinking i sense in your post. correct me if i'm wrong.

 

i sense you consider it paramount that a child should be raised to stop others 'taking the pee' out of them. this, i think, would be a great by-product of a good upbringing, but it should get about as much attention as what toothpaste the kid uses.

 

not sure they're trying to 'deprive' the child of it's sexuality. they want to allow it to choose when it's 'ready'. and i think it's more gender they're doing that with.not so much sexuality.

 

but i agree with your basic premise. it's wrong.

[Tatman]

there's an uncomfortable thinking i sense in your post. correct me if i'm wrong.

 

i sense you consider it paramount that a child should be raised to stop others 'taking the pee' out of them. this, i think, would be a great by-product of a good upbringing, but it should get about as much attention as what toothpaste the kid uses.

 

not sure they're trying to 'deprive' the child of it's sexuality. they want to allow it to choose when it's 'ready'. and i think it's more gender they're doing that with.not so much sexuality.

 

but i agree with your basic premise. it's wrong.

 

My bold.

It is ready. Its been born.

 

Having the pee taken out of you at school can be life destroying.

Example, at my school there was this one lad who i was friends with, i often spoke to his parents and visited his home. His home life was great. Lovely parents, close to his grandparents, siblings who clearly loved him but his school life was HORRIBLE!!!!!

So he ended it.

His life that is.

[Karis]

I have to add, that I think sexuality isn't learned (unless you're exceptionally weak willed) and that the parents here are really just trying to overcome gender stereotyping

 

I had a woman return an toy for her son as it was pink. She was horrified at the thought of her son playing with a pink toy. It's really quite tragic.

[Kaimani]

My bold.

It is ready. Its been born.

 

Having the pee taken out of you at school can be life destroying.

Example, at my school there was this one lad who i was friends with, i often spoke to his parents and visited his home. His home life was great. Lovely parents, close to his grandparents, siblings who clearly loved him but his school life was HORRIBLE!!!!!

So he ended it.

His life that is.

 

my ready was quoted to imply it was them, the parents, thinking that. not me. i don't agree a child is ready when it's born but i don't agree that it should be left to 'choose' its gender.

 

as for upbringing. i stand firm on that. getting your child to 'fit in' and 'not make a target of themselves' should never be your guiding principle in raising.

 

i hear you about your friend. and i take comfort in the fact that he had a good home life. he'd have had terrible home and school lives had his parents stopped trying to make him true to himself and worked, instead, on getting him to 'fit in' at school.

[Kaimani]

I have to add, that I think sexuality isn't learned (unless you're exceptionally weak willed) and that the parents here are really just trying to overcome gender stereotyping

 

I had a woman return an toy for her son as it was pink. She was horrified at the thought of her son playing with a pink toy. It's really quite tragic.

 

you're right. you can't learn sexuality. and gender is the same, i'm convinced. but it can be tricky finding your own sexuality if one is imposed on you. so i see what the parents are trying to do.