ex-man Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 My ex( who i'm still close to and care deeply for) has gotten re-married and has a 6 month old daughter with the new guy. Me and her have an eight year old girl. The new guy, it turns out, has been beating my ex and sometimes in front of my daughter. I only found out a couple of weeks back because my ex told me as she thought my daughter would sooner or later. I can't get why she's staying. Kind of understand as she's very Christian and already has a failed marriage. Doesn't want another, I suppose. Last week my daughter called me in a panic. She'd shut herself in the bathroom and said the guy was trying to beat it down to get to her. Saw red, turned up, put the guy in hospital. Not proud, but it's done now. I've had a word with my ex and she says the guy's gone for good now. But I turned up to get my daughter for a day and he was there. Can't get my daughter off her without courts etc, and think it'd send my ex over the edge anyway. But don't want my daughter to see that all the time. What would you do? PS- username is an attempt to save my modesty. If you work out who I am, and you probably will, please either just PM me or not say anything as I don't want this episode to define what I am...here and elsewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mecky Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 Do not take the law into your own hands. Collect evidence and pass it on to the relevant authorities, that's all you can do. confrontation is never a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selphie Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 IMO your daughter is the priority. Your ex is old enough to make her own decisions but your daughter isn't. Sorry to sound harsh but if it tips your ex over the edge then that's her problem. You have got to get your daughter out of there. If your ex won't agree then I suggest you contact social services and see if you can get an emergency care order. Or would you prefer to be visiting your badly beaten daughter in hospital? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Gobby Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 I understand what you did and why ,proberbly would have done the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dad of 2 Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 is this guy gone for good? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ex-man Posted May 28, 2011 Author Share Posted May 28, 2011 Do not take the law into your own hands. Collect evidence and pass it on to the relevant authorities, that's all you can do. confrontation is never a good idea. They have been to the police a few times already. I didn't know all this was happening till two weeks ago. I'm ashamed my daughter saw me do what i did, but i wasn't thinking. I just saw red. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ex-man Posted May 28, 2011 Author Share Posted May 28, 2011 IMO your daughter is the priority. Your ex is old enough to make her own decisions but your daughter isn't. Sorry to sound harsh but if it tips your ex over the edge then that's her problem. You have got to get your daughter out of there. If your ex won't agree then I suggest you contact social services and see if you can get an emergency care order. Or would you prefer to be visiting your badly beaten daughter in hospital? You're right. I'm looking into getting my girl, for as long as the situation remains this way, at least. I was with my ex for ten years from when I was fifteen so it's easier said than done to say it's her problem. But I see what you're saying. Going to pick her up today. Will suggest she stays with me for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ex-man Posted May 28, 2011 Author Share Posted May 28, 2011 is this guy gone for good? He has to come and see his own daughter, so I don't think he can ever be gone for good. but I'm told he's moved out. It's a good start. My ex is one of the strongest women I know. takes no bull anywhere else. But this is just so baffling. I can't understand why she's staying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennycakes Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 speak to your ex,(i think its great you speak btw) tell he its up to her what she finds acceptable in a relationship but your daughter has to make her own choices and should not witness any physical violence what so ever, i speak from experience children do not need to see dad or anyone hurt mum, if she sees this maybe she could think this is acceptable and "normal", suggest to your ex your daughter stays with you more,esp during school hols ect and over for teatime etc and build from that. also grandparents are often forgotten about maybe lean on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dad of 2 Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 He has to come and see his own daughter, so I don't think he can ever be gone for good. but I'm told he's moved out. It's a good start. My ex is one of the strongest women I know. takes no bull anywhere else. But this is just so baffling. I can't understand why she's staying. draw a line and say if he moves back in your daughter moves out. try and work with mum be clear though. the damage that man can do is massive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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