Promiscuity and relationships

[Karis]

Its best to be open and honest, or face the consequences later.

E.g. bumping into them in Tesco's and having to expain who they are.

And, finding your old wedding photo's when clearing out your dad's loft, with new BF!!

 

Absolutely not! Everyone accepts that they might bump into an ex or two, and to be honest, in a balanced relationship, that should never be a problem...

 

But telling your ex you had 1000 partners twenty years ago in a different "life" is a completely unnecessary bit of over sharing.

[<Aim 4>]

she had slept with 'over 300 men'

 

Or, 300 men have slept with her.

 

Doesn't sound as good when you put it like that.

[pattricia]

Has anyone here ever been promiscuous, and if so, what do you tell your partners about the past? The whole truth, or part-truth? Or is it none of their business?

 

I'm thinking of one of Mrs.H's work colleagues from years ago, who once admitted that she had slept with 'over 300 men' and so she lied to her insecure and aggressive husband (even though it was years before meeting him)

 

Some people regard this as their business, and are angry about, or threatened by their partner's past.

 

Would you consider it generally true that men have been around more than women?

 

I wonder why you should ask this ?

[MC Spyda]

I wouldn't want to be with someone who was a slag before getting with me, but that's not to say it can't work, just not for me.

[megalithic]

I used to be a club dj, say no more.

Until i saw my missus in the club, first girl i ever chased.

She knows all about my clubbing days, 4 kids on and 16 years later, i still look at her and think WOW, even though she's a much bigger girl, in more ways than one.

[rubydazzler]

I wouldn't want to be with someone who was a slag before getting with me, but that's not to say it can't work, just not for me.

Why would being in a relationship with other people before they met you, make someone a slag? If someone had sex with a different person twice a year for, say, 5 years, would that make them a 'slag'? Or a different person twice a month, or twice a week?

 

What's the magic number/time scale that differentiates someone with a healthy, varied sex life from a slag?

 

Would you expect anyone to think you were a slag if you'd slept with a variety of people?

[MC Spyda]

Why would being in a relationship with other people before they met you, make someone a slag? If someone had sex with a different person twice a year for, say, 5 years, would that make them a 'slag'? Or a different person twice a month, or twice a week?

 

What's the magic number/time scale that differentiates someone with a healthy, varied sex life from a slag?

 

Would you expect anyone to think you were a slag if you'd slept with a variety of people?

 

There is no magic number, it is personal opinion and down to interpretation and individual circumstances. If I think that someone is a slag, then I think they are a slag. That's my prerogative. It's not black and white like you are trying to make it out to be.

 

If someone wants to think I am a slag, then yes they can. Doesn't bother me.

[ronthenekred]

Why would being in a relationship with other people before they met you, make someone a slag? If someone had sex with a different person twice a year for, say, 5 years, would that make them a 'slag'? Or a different person twice a month, or twice a week?

 

What's the magic number/time scale that differentiates someone with a healthy, varied sex life from a slag?

 

Would you expect anyone to think you were a slag if you'd slept with a variety of people?

 

It's all about insecurities. Men NEED to feel secure in their relationships. The more past man history the more the new guy feels threatened. If I applied the same logic to my own promiscuity I'd be in trouble because i've hit the tiles more times than I care to think. Not one of my relationships were based on how many times before. I seriously never felt the need to ask.

[rubydazzler]

It's all about insecurities. Men NEED to feel secure in their relationships. The more past man history the more the new guy feels threatened.[/b] If I applied the same logic to my own promiscuity I'd be in trouble because i've hit the tiles more times than I care to think. Not one of my relationships were based on how many times before. I seriously never felt the need to ask.

And women don't? The more past history a man has, a woman is more likely not to be able to trust him, to think that he'll hit the road sooner or later or that he won't be faithful, get entangled with yet another woman and abandon her and any kids they may have.

 

I wonder if the disparity is down to the way men are encouraged to really believe that it's ok for them to sow their wild oats and it'll all be accepted as water under the bridge. No it's not, really. Like you, What I'd tolerate in my own behaviour,and think was perfectly understandable and forgiveable, I'd probably not tolerate in my man. He's gotta be white than white!

[rubydazzler]

There is no magic number, it is personal opinion and down to interpretation and individual circumstances. If I think that someone is a slag, then I think they are a slag. That's my prerogative. It's not black and white like you are trying to make it out to be.

 

If someone wants to think I am a slag, then yes they can. Doesn't bother me.

But if you wanted to get with them, and thought they were THE ONE for you but they thought you were a slag and didn't want you because of it, would it bother you then?