graham101@ta Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 .I always wonder why the older generation have made it through life togther and the younger ones cant/wont. because the older ones made a vow to each other and stuck to it its too easy now adays when things go wrong to say ive had enough and walk away instead of working at it a good marriage needs working at im one of those people that when i make a vow to someone in church i stick to it but my 1st wife didnt and neither did my 2nd wife i was married to my 1st wife for just 2 years when she had an affair my 2nd wife lasted longer before she had 1 it was 7 years and that was with my brother inlaw i forgave her and we stayed together for 13 years after. that till one day she announced she was leaving me and now im in another relationship and been together now for 10 years but i wont get married again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkymiss Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Have you really made an effort to fix things? Saying that, it takes two people to make a marriage successful. Would you be prepared to actually ask him if he's prepared to confront the problems and work at them or would your first option be to separate? 14 years is a long time. I couldn't let that go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrannyGranny Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 It sounds like he's in denial and is being a typical bloke. He must know something is wrong, you've been married 14 years. My wife always says when a woman confronts her husband and asked for a devorce there's no turning back. She's already prepared and moved on in her mind. What situation are you in financially re. job, house etc..? Are you able to live independently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rand Hobart Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Go for it. My experience , when friends split is that while the wife ends up much happier in a flat that is a very nice home and a circle of friends. The bloke ends up in a flat, miserable with odd bits of furniture, nothing in the fridge but a couple of cans of lager, and a toilet that always stinks of wee. Take control of your life while you can. :¬) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottf Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Some great advise on there but i would also add that if you are honestly thinking about leaving him and getting a divorce then i would go and see your solicitor as soon as possible to avoid complications down the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Sidney Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Oh well, life's a pain at times but cheer up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kthebean Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 Sometimes I think its very easy to look at the person closest to you and blame them for things that you don't like about yourself or your own life. If you are thinking 'without him I would...go out more/have more friends/look better/feel better' - does he actually stop you from doing these things? or is it yourself stopping you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeadingNorth Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 I always wonder why the older generation have made it through life togther and the younger ones cant/wont. Thankfully, the notion that a relationship is supposed to last a lifetime is rather antiquated nowadays, and there's far less social stigma about leaving one. People who find themselves in an unhappy marriage no longer feel obligated to stay in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelAgain Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Star Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 .I always wonder why the older generation have made it through life togther and the younger ones cant/wont. because the older ones made a vow to each other and stuck to it its too easy now adays when things go wrong to say ive had enough and walk away instead of working at it a good marriage needs working at im one of those people that when i make a vow to someone in church i stick to it but my 1st wife didnt and neither did my 2nd wife i was married to my 1st wife for just 2 years when she had an affair my 2nd wife lasted longer before she had 1 it was 7 years and that was with my brother inlaw i forgave her and we stayed together for 13 years after. that till one day she announced she was leaving me and now im in another relationship and been together now for 10 years but i wont get married again It's a bit of a myth re these fabulous marriages of old - I know people who are now no longer with us who wasted decades in dead marriages, either living in misery or having separate lives in the same house... there is nothing to be said for living like this, if you are unhappy and it's not working you need to think about your own needs and get out! I have been with my partner for nearly 17 years, and I have never been of the impression that a good relationship needs 'work'... If your long term partnership/marriage feels like work, it's not working! You know when it's right, because being together is easy and feels natural... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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