joiner andy Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Yes, that's how I'd describe a father like the OP describes. .............agreed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennycakes Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Yes, that's how I'd describe a father like the OP describes. my brother doesnt see his 3 kids,hes been told by the eldest we dont want to see you any more,obv coached via mum,shes told them dad has hit mum and would hit them in time,not true, he hasnt seen them for 3 yrs i know he misses them so much,hes tried to make contact,but told to keep away or else she will call the police and courts etc, the kids are in there mid teens,and dont seem to want to know dad,hes also tried via facebook,only for mum to send nasty messages and block him, he still sends money in birthday cards,xmas cards and pays via csa every week, theres only so much a person can take,everyone has different circumstances Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole_Marie Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 He was an absentee father well before my 10th birthday and my mum never cheated on him, it was the other way around. He had money to pay for football and beer, but my mum had to work two jobs until my step dad came along. If we knew where he lived, he could of easily have found me had he really wanted to. I lived with 10 miles of him and he never called, wrote, or even tried to see me. My half sister is now 17 and I haven't seen her since she was 2 years. I and my mum's choice would have been to see my father rather than being abandoned by him. I got to an age where I got sick of waiting for him to be bothered to come and see me, but now I think as every father should be a support towards the child he "fathered". All I want is to give my mum back the hardship she suffered and get something back what was rightfully ours. Not stealing or accepting money for the sake of getting it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocki Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 He was an absentee father well before my 10th birthday and my mum never cheated on him, it was the other way around. He had money to pay for football and beer, but my mum had to work two jobs until my step dad came along. If we knew where he lived, he could of easily have found me had he really wanted to. I lived with 10 miles of him and he never called, wrote, or even tried to see me. My half sister is now 17 and I haven't seen her since she was 2 years. I and my mum's choice would have been to see my father rather than being abandoned by him. I got to an age where I got sick of waiting for him to be bothered to come and see me, but now I think as every father should be a support towards the child he "fathered". All I want is to give my mum back the hardship she suffered and get something back what was rightfully ours. Not stealing or accepting money for the sake of getting it. Didn't your mum ever contact the CSA when you were growing up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole_Marie Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 No she didn't. Not that I know of! He never had a job before I was 7 and when they divorced he threatened her with a knife if she ever did contact anyone. ***The list of what he has done, would have me go one forever. I could only scratch the surface. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summa Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 my brother doesnt see his 3 kids,hes been told by the eldest we dont want to see you any more,obv coached via mum,shes told them dad has hit mum and would hit them in time,not true, he hasnt seen them for 3 yrs i know he misses them so much,hes tried to make contact,but told to keep away or else she will call the police and courts etc, the kids are in there mid teens,and dont seem to want to know dad,hes also tried via facebook,only for mum to send nasty messages and block him, he still sends money in birthday cards,xmas cards and pays via csa every week, theres only so much a person can take,everyone has different circumstances If your brother has not done anything wrong then maybe he should contact the courts, if he does maybe the kids will see he is serious about being involved and make a decision on their own, without their mum having her say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole_Marie Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 If your brother has not done anything wrong then maybe he should contact the courts, if he does maybe the kids will see he is serious about being involved and make a decision on their own, without their mum having her say. ^^^ I agree...fighting ot see actually shows you care. From experience!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMozzy Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Any decent father or mother in some cases, wouldn't need defending, he should have always been thier regardless of seperation, new relationships, whatever. Sometimes they aren't allowed to be. You can't generalise like that. In this case it would seem that the OP has been let down but that's not always the case - and sometimes the child has been poisoned against the absent parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sccsux Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 theres only so much a person can take,everyone has different circumstances Yeah well, I was in a very similar position with regards to my sperm donor, so I know pretty well how it feels to be in the OPs situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennycakes Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 If your brother has not done anything wrong then maybe he should contact the courts, if he does maybe the kids will see he is serious about being involved and make a decision on their own, without their mum having her say. as he work hes been told he would have to fund his own solicitor and court costs,she doesnt work so would get hers for free. also she has obviously told so many lies to the kids she practically brainwashed them,they told dad to his face so would prob tell courts same,he pays so much csa when he has spoke to the kids hes told them he loves them and misses them,hes managed to give them his mobile number,they know where he lives and facebook etc, they choose not to make contact eldest is now 17yrs old, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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