summa Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Sometimes they aren't allowed to be. You can't generalise like that. In this case it would seem that the OP has been let down but that's not always the case - and sometimes the child has been poisoned against the absent parent. Even if the child has been poisoned as you say, it doesn't mean the other parent should give up. The courts and legal proceesing should be last resort but if it's the only option then at least the child would see the actions their father/mother are taking to see them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summa Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 as he work hes been told he would have to fund his own solicitor and court costs,she doesnt work so would get hers for free. also she has obviously told so many lies to the kids she practically brainwashed them,they told dad to his face so would prob tell courts same,he pays so much csa when he has spoke to the kids hes told them he loves them and misses them,hes managed to give them his mobile number,they know where he lives and facebook etc, they choose not to make contact eldest is now 17yrs old, I'm sorry, this may sound harsh, but money shouldn't come into it, if thats what it takes then so be it. If the eldest is 17 and they have been split 3years then it could have been done 3years ago. The courts are good at extracting information from children, they use a independant groups, They spend time with the children and are aware of when children are just repeating what they have been told. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightlight59 Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 end of the day dads should contribute to the children they have at the time,up to 18 or when leave full time education i have kids who see there dad regular but he refuses to contribute to anything hes even stopped work,and he does his best so as i dont get the £5 min as hes on benefits,its a struggle and they do miss out on school trips i cant pay for. i dont see the point in chasing dad down once you have left school,personally i wouldnt want anything from a man that has disowned me You know what I think, the old saying is good,no pay no say,if they cant help with the financial cost of bringing up a child they should have kept it coverd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennycakes Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 I'm sorry, this may sound harsh, but money shouldn't come into it, if thats what it takes then so be it. If the eldest is 17 and they have been split 3years then it could have been done 3years ago. The courts are good at extracting information from children, they use a independant groups, They spend time with the children and are aware of when children are just repeating what they have been told. i know what ur saying but at the risk of him loosing his home to fund a court case just to see if his kids want to see him when hes tried to contact them,and mum makes everything a battle and sends nasty texts to dad and text to the eldest asking if dad hurts you ring me, sorry but shes a nasty piece of work,shes the same to another dad she has a child to, it make me angry i struggle to put food on the table clothes on my kids backs, when my ex has hols runs a car and bike,lives in a 3 bed house and obv works without being court,all i get is fobbed off by the csa, my case is total opposite to my brothers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole_Marie Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 If your brother has not done anything wrong then maybe he should contact the courts, if he does maybe the kids will see he is serious about being involved and make a decision on their own, without their mum having her say. You know what I think, the old saying is good,no pay no say,if they cant help with the financial cost of bringing up a child they should have kept it coverd. My parents was married, so you would think that this shouldn't have to be the case, but he cheated and then left my mum to cope with a decision they made together. All I want to know is do absentee parents have to pay for the missed child support? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summa Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 My parents was married, so you would think that this shouldn't have to be the case, but he cheated and then left my mum to cope with a decision they made together. All I want to know is do absentee parents have to pay for the missed child support? I don't know the answer to this, I would contact the child suport agency and see what they say. I hope you get the result your looking for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XXTickerXX Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 It`s a fact of life that a minority of children ARE going to better off without one of the parents.Personally if you(Nicole Marie)can fill pages of what he has done to your mother and even threatened her life i can`t think of any reason other than a financial and revenge motivation for getting back in touch with him. I`m not saying that`s bad from your point of view but isn`t your life a better place without him and the hassle it would cause?. Good luck anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denlin Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 i know what ur saying but at the risk of him loosing his home to fund a court case just to see if his kids want to see him when hes tried to contact them,and mum makes everything a battle and sends nasty texts to dad and text to the eldest asking if dad hurts you ring me, sorry but shes a nasty piece of work,shes the same to another dad she has a child to, it make me angry i struggle to put food on the table clothes on my kids backs, when my ex has hols runs a car and bike,lives in a 3 bed house and obv works without being court,all i get is fobbed off by the csa, my case is total opposite to my brothers It isn't actually you both have issues that need dealing with. In your brothers case maybe he could contact citizens advice initially and if you know for sure your ex is working and claiming benefit but isn't paying you then he wants reporting to the employment office Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rageness Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Quite frankly I couldn't give a toss about whether it was harsh or not in my initial statement, I replied to how the Op's firs post read, Which read like another money grabber. By any chance the advise you have been given is it a company similar to those that think we should all claim for falling over? I have both my parents and they are fairly decent so no I'm not in the same boat, Nor do I have a wonky eye nor am I agitated or angry. I will stress that reading your other posts its obvious your upset that your toss bag of a farther missed you life and I can only sympathize with that, Remember though it's his loss not yours. How ever after all is said and done, Your mother has done a good job to raise you and some times choices in life are hard. While your mums decision was not easy people have much harder upbringings and much worst circumstances. I don't see how chasing your real dad down is going to make whats happened any easier for you... If he had died your mum would have still had the same hardships (would you be chasing god down for some compensation?) Also you say you have a step dad, When did he jump on the scene? because if it's been a while then there are no reasons you should have suffered or had a harder life than any 1 else. I know people who have never been on holiday once and it has nothing to do with them not having a parent, Just being extremely poor and facing the same 2 job scenario to get by! Why should you be so different? To those who thinks this reads harsh and there fore feel calling me names or giving out some personal insults is going to upset me get a grip and see it from both sides of the coin, I stand by my initial statement, Yes your dad has been a ****, But you have clearly done better off without him and trying to grab some money off of him seems utterly pointless and gold digging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricgem2002 Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 I'm sorry, this may sound harsh, but money shouldn't come into it, if thats what it takes then so be it. If the eldest is 17 and they have been split 3years then it could have been done 3years ago. The courts are good at extracting information from children, they use a independant groups, They spend time with the children and are aware of when children are just repeating what they have been told. if money shouldnt come into it as your telling this poster why are you then sticking up for the op in chasing her dad for money:loopy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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