Jennie80 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 ahh well ive gotten used to being labeled a sponger and a scrounger now. these people dont know me or the circumstances but i wont let that stand in the way of them having a nice rant the ex and i had been married 3 and a half years before i fell pregnant, the in laws had been on my back since we married about providing them with a grandchild. we both worked and paid tax, had our own home ( complete with mortgage ) finally decided we were ready for a child..... and he took up wife beating as a hobby. end result was a child born too early and took sick, errors made, took her home after 10 and a half months with lifelong disabilitys and medical problems as a single mother. i still thought i would be returning to work, asked the consultant about having the daycare staff trained for her medical needs, the added insurance for oxygen to be used at daycare and it was vetoed since a cold could have killed her. i still havnt given up hope of returning to work part time, currently im seen as too unreliable due to all the appointments and time off for her illnesses but hey i can dream. on a good day when i have to listen to numptys i can laugh, on bad days like the day when a stranger came and told me my child would be better off dead i cry the dad doesnt contribute. told a judge he didnt want anything to do with my beautiful girl since shes not "normal" and threatened violence towards my daughter and i if he was forced to pay You are a brave and strong woman, you are better off without that n0b in your life. Keep at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Having your partner die is a choice? No. Have another look. Having children is a choice. Did you manage to read it this time? Believe it or not some single parents end up as such through no choice of their own. Yes I'm aware of that. But that doesn't mean having children is comparable to having a disability. You were comparing having children when you already knew you couldn't afford it with having a disability, trying to move the goalposts afterwards is cheating. Children are an eighteen year, or longer, commitment can you guarantee your job security for that long? Can you guarantee your partners commitment for eighteen years? Where is the choice? I made a choice to have children when I had, what I thought was a nice well paid secure job and a marriage. After nine months I discovered my well paid, secure job wasn't as secure as I thought after another twelve months and some post-natal depression I discovered my marriage wasn't as secure as I thought it was and now I'm left as a 'feckless' single dad. You have refused to get work... Without the benefit of hindsight I don't see I made any wrong discissions, and I strongly believe I'm not alone. It is yet another example of blaming a minority for all the ails of the worlds, works particularly well when that minority is not able to fight back, single mums, 'feckless' dads, disabled, asylum seekers etc. I'm not blaming you for being a single dad. If I was inclined to consider you personally at all the only thing I'd criticise is your attitude towards providing for yourself, which is that you'd rather not. And I'd criticise you having the gall to call it selfish that other people don't want to pay to keep you, go and have a look in the mirror for a glimpse at selfish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iuchi_Zien Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 No. You were comparing having children when you already knew you couldn't afford it Where have I said that? At the time of conception of my first child I was working in what I thought was a nice secure job. The second child I had no say about, my (now) ex-wife lied to me. Of course I should have assumed she was lying about her use of birth control, after all she was my wife! Yes, I made a conscious decision to have a child, the second was not my choice but I'm still responsible for him. It is arrogant in the extreme to say all children are a choice, not everybody is comfortable with abortion and accidents DO happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sues_budgie Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Women having babies That is where the problem lies Do women ever stop and wonder how they became pregnant? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andikay Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Women having babies That is where the problem lies Do women ever stop and wonder how they became pregnant? Because lots of males are very clumsy and have lots of accidents, the male slips, probably on a banana skin, falls on the female and hey presto she’s pregnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Where have I said that? Right here when people are being pressured into having an abortion because other selfish people are haranguing them for daring to have children when there finances aren't perfect. Let me guess, that wasn't what you meant? At the time of conception of my first child I was working in what I thought was a nice secure job. The second child I had no say about, my (now) ex-wife lied to me. Of course I should have assumed she was lying about her use of birth control, after all she was my wife! Yes, I made a conscious decision to have a child, the second was not my choice but I'm still responsible for him. It is arrogant in the extreme to say all children are a choice, not everybody is comfortable with abortion and accidents DO happen. We aren't actually talking about you you know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennie80 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Right here Let me guess, that wasn't what you meant? We aren't actually talking about you you know... You should put your Miss Marple skills to better use. One is wasted on Sheffield Forum my dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Gobby Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Have you been on the Manor or the Cross recentley?? Why have Excel started giving out invoices to single mothers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iuchi_Zien Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Right here when people are being pressured into having an abortion because other selfish people are haranguing them for daring to have children when there finances aren't perfect. So the only time you reckon people should have children is WHEN their finances are perfect, brilliant idea, nobody is allowed to have children because, short of being 'Mr Billionaire', nobody is in a position to guarantee their finances for the next eighteen years. Let me guess, that wasn't what you meant? No .... Sherlock! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Strange, cause that is what you said... And you could try to answer what I've actually said (as I did with you), rather than guessing at what I might have meant... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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