In need of some sound advice.

[Annina]

Al anon is a good start,it is specifically for people like you,having to live with an alcoholic.

 

You could also get help from a womens refuge,the police will tell you where to go.

 

Do not suffer in silence,there are loads of people who will help.

[Twiglet]

I really feel for you elouisejacob. Despite the fact there is no physical violence, you are dependent on him which in turn makes you extremely vulnerable.

 

Women's aid gives some very good information about 'domestic violence' here, which clearly states the major factors are not necessarily physical, but the manipulation and isolation: http://tinyurl.com/yztep6s

 

I think giving them a call would be a step forward. As you've already mentioned, you've already made your decision to get out of your situation, so hopefully they would be able to give you some practical advice on your options. Good luck

[boyfriday]

Hello all. I am currently in need of some sound advice. I am living with a "functioning alcoholic". My husband drinks at night heavily, and has been doing for two years now, to the point where he goes to sleep where ever he drops.

 

During the day he holds down an important job, and does it rather well, at this point his problem does not seem to be interfering with his work.

However he is making my home life hell. There is no domestic violence involved, but he can get quite aggresive verbally and has embarrassed me numerous times by peeing in the garden, and insulting a neighbour with whom he had an altercation with some years ago, he loses all common sense when he is drunk and my nights are spent praying he will just fall asleep before he can do anything to cause me more grief.

 

He started drinking after he lost his mother to cancer. It was a terrible time and he just can't seem to pull himsef out of the pit he's in, even though during the day he will readily admit he has a dependancy. He has been to the doctor six times in total, only to go straight to the off license and drink himself blind after.

 

I have tried to support him, my family have tried to support him, along with his own, but he cannot let go of the drink. it is breaking my heart.

 

So why dont i leave i hear you ask. Simple: A year ago i was run over by a lorry who's driver had had a heart attack at the wheel. I am in a wheel chair as a result, still having extensive surgery. I had to give up my job, and i am financially dependant on my husband. I have no access to his account. Although my property is in my name due to the adaptations ive had to have done, it is rented (council) but when i asked my husband if he would consider leaving, he laughed at me.

 

My parents are both pensioners and are in no position to help me out, they know what im living with and it is incredibly difficult for them.

 

Can anyone offer me some advice as to where to go to get out of this situation, ive made my decision to leave my husband as i simply cannot take anymore. The final straw being two days ago when he said he didnt have diesel money so i could go to a physiotherapy appointment, then proceeded to get drunk that very night.

 

I'm not a weak person, up to three years ago, my marriage was strong and happy, fortunately we have no children, Ive stayed for as long as i can, i cannot help him any more untill he helps himself, which i cant see happening anytime soon. Please dont judge me, but any sound advice would be very welcome. Thankyou. Ellie.

 

Very sorry to hear of your plight eloisejacob. You mention the accident that rendered you disabled and financially dependent on your husband.

 

One positive aspect is presumably the insurers of the driver who injured you will be compensating you for your loss of independence and future income? That could be quite a considerable sum.