mort Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 The medications available only work on some types of dementia. Vascular dementia is exceedingly hard to diagnose and is irreversible. As somebody who has been through this with an elderly parent I can say this - you cannot do it alone. Whichever type of dementia she has it will lead her to do things that are against all reason and you cannot watch them 24/7. Like medusa said it messes with the sleep patterns and the people who suffer from it will end up needing 24 hour supervision. Get professional help now and yes get her legal affairs sorted out as soon as you can as well because there will come a time when doing that will be extremely difficult as well. I wish you and your family all the best in looking after her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arguendo Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Contact the Alzheimer's Soc. at Venture House, on Arundel Street/Lane (can't remember which). They will provide you with a veritable plethora of support. Great organisation! Out of all the posts on this thread that’s about the only competent advice. I don’t wish to upset anyone but I have to say I’m quite shocked, although some advice on here can be relevant & helpful, if the person requires support in managing a situation, but the first & best advice people can give when a person is requesting help with regard to a current/new illness/injury & any concerns in respect to one’s health is to see a professional. Poorly given advice can be extremely unhelpful & at times dangerous. I know that individuals suffering with dementia lose the ability to make an informed decision/choice, but you have to have a confirmed diagnosis by a medical professional, Crookesey clearly says in his/her post there is no confirmed diagnosis. Although the intentions on this post are well founded, I am becoming concerned at a element on the forum who feel, they are professional enough to give diagnosis & advice as if it’s coming from a health professional, Think of this if you give advice & the person take it literally & something goes drastically wrong, then you can be held liable, giving support to someone managing a confirmed illness/situation/condition is incredibly helpful & encouraged. With respect to Crookesey, please take my advice & contact your GP first, get a confirmed diagnosis, this will lead to right level of treatment & support. There’s a variety of tests which need to be done, your GP whilst awaiting a referral to the clinics; can commence these immediately to rule out any other possibilities, at the same time whilst awaiting the results, you can get support to help & protect your mom. I promise you this is the best advice, it’ll be the same advice your solicitor will give. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medusa Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 The original basis of the thread was protecting a parent who is vulnerable, so that's where my answer was based. If you notice, my answer included quotes such as 'if she does indeed have dementia' as I know that there are a lot of conditions which can produce the effects of dementia without actually being dementia. However, the actions that one would take as a loving family member are not necessarily about diagnosis; they could be about support and protection, just like Crookesey sounds like he's thinking about. He will love, support and protect his mum whether she has dementia or not. The legal consultation is valid in terms of protection whether Crookesey's mum has dementia or not, even if there's no need to take any legal steps presently. Knowing what actions you will take if and when action is needed is helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arguendo Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 .....I would suggest talking to a family services solicitor or your local CAB to discuss your options for taking responsibility for your mum's affairs, which you will need to do if she does indeed have dementia. It's unpleasant, it's stressful and it's heartbreaking, but unfortunately it needs to be done and when the time comes for your mum to have outside care or assistance, you (or someone else in your family) will need to be able to organise that since your mum, by definition, will not be able to campaign for her own care. The original basis of the thread was protecting a parent who is vulnerable, so that's where my answer was based. If you notice, my answer included quotes such as 'if she does indeed have dementia' as I know that there are a lot of conditions which can produce the effects of dementia without actually being dementia. However, the actions that one would take as a loving family member are not necessarily about diagnosis; they could be about support and protection, just like Crookesey sounds like he's thinking about. He will love, support and protect his mum whether she has dementia or not. The legal consultation is valid in terms of protection whether Crookesey's mum has dementia or not, even if there's no need to take any legal steps presently. Knowing what actions you will take if and when action is needed is helpful. As a health professional with many years experience, & as would be expected I do have the ability to read, I know exactly what basis Crookesey thread was focussed on. However I also read yours & others responses, your initial concerns appear to be “power of attorney”, see my bold. My initial concern is safety yes, not by contacting a solicitor, but towards giving close observation, support, contacting the authorities fair enough, all these will help immediately. But if Crookesy is going to protect his mom he is far better contacting a GP ASAP, to rule out other causes than dementia, whilst the GP is assessing her physiological/psychological condition, addressing what I see as priority, he can also give immediate help in ensuring crookesey gets support in protecting her, once he has the diagnosis then he can take it upon himself to manage her affairs, as for the phonecalls demanding money, contact the police. I am not going to give a lesson on dementia’s as this is not helpful towards crookeseys post, but if you feel that a relative especially elderly is showing signs of unusual behaviour, you don’t contact a solicitor to de-empower you contact a medical professional assess the cause. Crookeseys’ reply to your comments prove how wrong you are; his intention (appeared) was to contact a solicitor, who would have made an appointment in a week or two, he’d have turned up and be told “we need a confirmed diagnosis”. Due to the advice of laymen, this is clearly delaying assessment & treatment, of what is a presumed diagnosis. I have seen so many times patients, whose families are concerned about whether their family members are developing dementia, although quite a lot of times they are correct on numerous occasions it’s been found to be long standing infection which is merely exacerbating the effects ageing. As for the legal aspects that I refer to, read my post, I am generalising about SF as a whole, there has been many occasions where a SF member may post an issue such “I have Pain” or “I have Pins & Needles” then the replies come in ranging from paper cuts to brain tumours, or poor blood circulation to Carpel tunnel syndrome. This is where I am referring to people who give wrong & dangerous advice, the onl;y advice given should be contact your GP/Health Professional. If you still feel I’m wrong then by all means PM, let me know, I’m 100% certain I can put you in contact with one of the departments within my organisation I work for who, will gladly give you the legal guidelines or best practice in dealing medical/surgical concerns or requests made on the forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arguendo Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I appologise Crookesey for detracting from your initial request for advice, it's not very helpful to you SF members having petty disagreements. Please contact your GP ASAP, in the long run its in your moms best interests, I hope everything goes ok, all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrannyGranny Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 With regard to phonecalls get her number changed and get her a phone which displays incoming call information. Put all numbers she needs in the phone. When it rings and just a number appears ie. caller unknown to her, she can let it go to voicemail. You can then regularly check her messages. Maybe not an idea to give a mobile phone to an 86 year old with suspected dementia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mecky Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I have a colleague at work who is going through a similar type of thing. Unfortunately it's all about funding for care and that takes ages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crookesey Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 I didn't mean to cause World War 3, by the way. What I think I will do is to put a message on her phone saying "This conversation is being recorded, the person you are phoning suffers from dementia, if you are not a friend and you persist with this call, a recording will be sent to her lawyer, so please hang up now". I will also contact the Demetia experts, many thanks for all of your comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crookesey Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 With regard to phonecalls get her number changed and get her a phone which displays incoming call information. Put all numbers she needs in the phone. When it rings and just a number appears ie. caller unknown to her, she can let it go to voicemail. You can then regularly check her messages. Maybe not an idea to give a mobile phone to an 86 year old with suspected dementia. I didn't mean to give her a normal one, Tesco do a brick type with very large numbers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longcol Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Some useful info on the Age UK (formerly age concern) website. Me and my brother have found them very helpful when dealing with my Dad. http://www.ageuk.org.uk/health-wellbeing/conditions-illnesses/dementia/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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