Ben Needham MEGATHREAD

[HeadingNorth]

That's not entirely correct, there is the other side of the coin. My guess is there are many people out there that would give there right arm for a different parent. That's the dilemma, no one knows.

 

I wasn't thinking of choice of parent; merely the emotional trauma of finding out that your entire life has been a lie. Frankly, at this point, I think it's better for Ben if he never is found.

[Anna B]

I think it's more about knowing what happened to him than whether he wants to live with his birth family, after all he's a man now and can make his own decisions.

 

But I wouldn't be able to rest until I knew he was safe and happy.

[0742Sheff]

If someone had stolen my daughter i would do everything i could to bring her back. I wouldn't care if it took me 20 years. I certainly wouldn't care if the thieves were punished.

I know after 20 years my daughter might be devastated by the upheaval of seeing her 'parents' locked up but that wouldn't stop me i am afraid.

 

I would know what happened to my daughter and i would do all i could to try and make things better. If it didn't work then it didn't work. I would try my best.

[HarmOKnee]

I wasn't thinking of choice of parent; merely the emotional trauma of finding out that your entire life has been a lie. Frankly, at this point, I think it's better for Ben if he never is found.

 

Would you say that if it was your child that had been abducted?

[andikay]

I wasn't thinking of choice of parent; merely the emotional trauma of finding out that your entire life has been a lie. Frankly, at this point, I think it's better for Ben if he never is found.

 

It doesn’t seem to stop adopted children looking for their biological parents when they find out they are adopted even when they their adopted parents are good parents.

[shaznay]

I wasn't thinking of choice of parent; merely the emotional trauma of finding out that your entire life has been a lie. Frankly, at this point, I think it's better for Ben if he never is found.

 

what about poor kerry and her family who have lived the past 20 years in utter turmoil, imagine waking up every morning just wandering if maybe this will be the day there maybe some news......

 

even if a child dies which is traumatic enough for any parent at least you can say goodbye and put closure on it......not Kerry

 

if the time ever does happen I am sure there will be plenty of counselling and help for them both to cope with the re-union

[GrannyGranny]

"Interesting too that the McCanns have had millions spent on them by the government in order to follow up old leads but Kerry has had nowt. This just shows what might be lurking in the files if she had the same kind of funding. Did anyone else see it, what did you make of it? "

 

OP - The McCanns money came from public donations not the Goverment.

 

20 years ago there wasn't Facebook/Twitter etc.. so news like this was kept to the TV and newspapers mostly.

[Arguendo]

I remember at the time & on numerous occasions after the event that there were rumours & sightings which indicated that Ben had been taken by Gypsies, all of which were presumably investigated by the islands authorities, who subsequently found no basis for the allegations. But there were also indications that the authorities’ investigations were far from thorough, their overall concern at the time was the possible effects this would have on tourism. If found to be true then its absolute disgrace, that the authorities allowed this boy to held for so long.

 

I don’t know the Needhams but at the time of Bens disappearance my son was the same age, if the events had occurred to me, then I know that both me & my wife would never give up hope of finding him, Kerry has from what I can see has been nothing but determined & shown great restraint, in her tenacity to find her son, she is what I call the perfect example of a mother & has my greatest admiration. If Ben is found then doubt there is a lot of psychological issues to deal with, Bens mental health; if on finding him could be severely affected, especially if the reuniting of him & his birth mother is mishandled, something Kerry is probably more than aware of, probebley more than most people are giving her credit for. If it is a family of gypsies that have held Ben for all these years, then we have to also consider that Ben may not have had an idyllic life in the sun with this family, he may well have suffered abuse, segregation/isolation due to his English/European looks, blond hair as a child, facial features, he will have some recollection of his birth family & life in England, they may be distant difficult memories, growing up he may well have asked questions regarding these memories & as a result punished.

 

Nobody knows what life he’s had, but he certainly had is life with his mother & family robbed from him, he has every right under the right conditions to be told, where as Kerry and her family have every right to be reconciled with her son, & those that took him to be held accountable, & that in my book means lengthy incarceration. As far as I’m concerned, good luck Kerry I hope these latest revelations’ bring some fruition to your long & no doubt difficult search for your son.

[Frank Sidney]

If Ben saw himself on TV but was living with loving people that he believed were his parents would he come forward and risk the people he now loves going to prison?

 

But surely his opinion of them would change if he realised they were child abductors?

[andikay]

But surely his opinion of them would change if he realised they were child abductors?

 

Possibly but that’s an individual thing, I couldn’t even guess as to how I would feel if I found out that my parents had kidnapped me and I wasn’t theirs. Would I change from loving them to hating them, I don’t know.