Ben Needham MEGATHREAD

[HeadingNorth]

How do you know that?.

 

If I knew it, I would not say "very probably."

[nexusdee]

Keith Bennett is known to be dead. Ben Needham, assuming he is still alive, would very probably have his life utterly ruined by finding out his past. It might be good for his mother, but it would almost certainly be bad for him.

 

In the sincere hope that Ben has been brought up by a kind loving family then surely at sone point it's possible he would have been told he was "adopted" so perhaps it wouldn't destroy his life knowing who he really is and therefore knowing his birth mother loves him very much rather then thinking he was abandoned. I cannot begin to know what Kerry has gone through all these years but surely no-one can dispute that she at least deserves to know what has happened. I am sure to her knowing he is well & happy is her priority and she said her self that anything else would be his decision. I hope & pray that through modern technology she will one day get the good news she has been praying for

[skinz]

If you read my post it would not make any difference.

 

So in effect you have no interest other than to fulfil a passion. Not sure of the point of your post other than to let us all know how far you would go.

 

Btw, while doing time your child is now even more confused, lost and vulnerable, or wasn't that a consideration? Seems like it's all about you.

 

With a bitter taste I'd kiss the pile off crap that they are in order to get my kid back.

[iphonelover]

Some of the comments on here sicken me! Ben is 'kerrys' son, not the son of the people who have him now, in the eyes of the law. In the eyes of Ben, well it depends on lots of things, whether he's had the same people 'looking after him' since the abduction, whether he's been passed aroun etc... Whether Ben is in a happy family and knows nothing of his previous life he still has the right to know as a human being where he comes from, the right to meet his real family, and the right to make decisions which will change his future. Yes it will cause upset, but could lead to a better life, even if it doesn't, he will know the truth.

Kerry isn't selfish for 1 second in wanting to find him and know he is safe and healthy, the rest will fall into place after.

Headingnorth your ignorant arrogant and insensitive!! If you have ANY decency you will NOT post on this thread again! Fancy judging someone who has been through something you couldn't even have a clue about! What sort of idiot does that!

I hope Kerry finds Ben and that he is healthy, after that is between them and only them. But in no way is she selfish by wanting to be reunited with him.

Edited July 20, 2011 by iphonelover

[*_ash_*]

How do you know that? If he was abducted and the has grown up in the care of the person who abducted him the chances are that he has been brought up with someone with a fairly bad mental illness and/or personality disorder. The kind of person who is deranged enough to steal a child is probably not going to make a well balanced parent who can bring a child up without severely damaging them. And that's just if he was stolen by someone who wanted a child, it's also completely possible that he was stolen to be criminally exploited for begging or pickpocketing or worse.

 

Normal people who are going to give children a stable upbringing in a good home don't kidnap children or buy them or acquire them through anything other than official means.

 

In your lala land you've decided that Ben is probably living in a nice stable home somewhere with people who love him and look after him. I think that's unlikely. I think it's far more likely that if he is found he would be saying 'I wish I'd been found years ago', 'It's nice to know after all I'd suffered that my real family loved me and never stopped looking after me'. And if you were his parent you would be so aware of the second scenario that he was suffering that you wouldn't able to just say 'Oh he's probably happy, I'll leave him be' and take the risk he was out there suffering and you were abandoning him.

 

You're also forgetting that he is an adult. He would be perfectly within his rights to refuse to make any changes to his life, move away or see Kerry if he wanted to. Plus from the precedents of Shannon Matthews and Elisabeth Fritzl it's perfectly possible he could remain anonymous, victims of this type of crime have.

 

But given the fact he was abducted I think it's highly unlikely he was taken by someone stable who could have provided him with the kind of idealised home you're imanging.

Whether or not HN is in lalaland, if the analyses in your post are to be accepted as reasonable, then we could pretty much conclude that it is likely that Ben is dead. So I hope you're wrong.

 

Some of the comments on here sicken me! Ben is 'kerrys' son, not the son of the people who have him now, in the eyes of the law. In the eyes of Ben, well it depends on lots of things, whether he's had the same people 'looking after him' since the abduction, whether he's been passed aroun etc... Whether Ben is in a happy family and knows nothing of his previous life he still has the right to know as a human being where he comes from, the right to meet his real family, and the right to make decisions which will change his future. Yes it will cause upset, but could lead to a better life, even if it doesn't, he will know the truth.

Kerry isn't selfish for 1 second in wanting to find him and know he is safe and healthy, the rest will fall into place after.

Of course not! But the rest of the post is entirely based on Kerry's and 'our' thoughts and ideologies, which is what has been missed. What happens if 'the rest will fall into place' f**** up Ben's life? Is that fair on him?

Headingnorth your ignorant arrogant and insensitive!! If you have ANY decency you will NOT post on this thread again! Fancy judging someone who has been through something you couldn't even have a clue about! What sort of idiot does that!

I hope Kerry finds Ben and that he is healthy, after that is between them and only them. But in no way is she selfish by wanting to be reunited with him.

The rest of your post still makes no logical sense. Do you have a clue about having a child abducted, or are you just thinking what it would be like if your child was abducted? If so, then you have no more experience that anyone else who hasn't had their child abducted. Moreover, were you abducted yourself? If not, then you equally can't comment on what it would feel like to be told as an adult that you were abducted.

[andikay]

That’s what I like about SF it always descends into arguing about who is right and who is wrong, on this particular subject no one is right or wrong because no one knows whether he is dead or alive whether he is happy or sad, all we can do is express opinions on the possibilities.

 

Any one of could be right or we could all be wrong.

[alex3659]

So in effect you have no interest other than to fulfil a passion. Not sure of the point of your post other than to let us all know how far you would go.

 

Btw, while doing time your child is now even more confused, lost and vulnerable, or wasn't that a consideration? Seems like it's all about you.

 

With a bitter taste I'd kiss the pile off crap that they are in order to get my kid back.

 

You seem obsessed with the word "passion" and also can't read.

[crookesey]

You seem obsessed with the word "passion" and also can't read.

 

Or spell.

[Badlittlepup]

Whether or not HN is in lalaland, if the analyses in your post are to be accepted as reasonable, then we could pretty much conclude that it is likely that Ben is dead. So I hope you're wrong.

 

 

That's not what I was saying at all. HeadingNorth is working from the assumption that if Ben is still alive he will be with people he loves and have a nice comfortable life. It's perfectly possible that he was taken either by someone who wanted a child or someone who wanted to exploit him criminally but is still alive. However in both those scenarios it's extremely unlikely that he would have been cared for by someone who could give him a good life and is far more likely to have grown up as a very damaged young man - people who steal children are either wicked or deranged and won't make good parents. Saying that if he is still alive he will probably still need rescuing is nowhere near the same as saying he is dead.

Edited July 20, 2011 by Badlittlepup

[Badlittlepup]

If I knew it, I would not say "very probably."

 

But even the 'very probably' is an assumption that he has something that is worth not ruining and is happy and finding this out will make things worse for him. Infact it is much more probable that he has faced a life full of problems. People who will abduct or buy children will not make good parents and it's extremely unlikely he has been living a happy settled normal life.

 

His mother can't take a chance on your 'very probably' which isn't actually probable at all.