Alcoblog Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 I bought a tomato plant from B&Q a couple of months ago and to my surprise it produced a little green tomato within weeks! I've nurtured it ever since ... it grew bigger and bigger and started going red! It looked superb as the sole tomato in a two foot high plant on my windowsill and I've taken many photos of it. Passers by often stopped to wonder at its beauty through the lounge window as it changed into a fully fledged ripe tomato with a girth of just over an inch. Imagine my total shock and horror today when it suddenly disappeared! After a thorough search, I found it had jumped off and hidden behind the sofa ... obviously, from all the unwanted attention it was receiving, it had become depressed and 'jumped'. What do I do with it? Does anyone know of a decent 'send off' recipe? My initial thoughts are of a very small spag bol but I feel I could do better. (It's now in the 'Electrolux' cryogenic suspension chamber in the 'kitchen facility') Any thoughts would be very much appreciated! ... please be kind, it's a very sad day for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Erikson Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 This is the Alcoblog I originally liked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert_Baehr Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Water the plant. Feed the plant. Open the window and let a few bugs in (and out, if you like) so there is no shortage of pollinators. In time, you may get two new tomatoes. Call the TV company and get them to organise a debate (the Orange lady on Look North might be prepared to chair the debate.) Allow the tomatoes to decide their own future. If they want to hide behind the sofa - well, it's a free world. If they wish to go forth and multiply, they are entitled to do that, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarkysod Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Have you offered the tomato counselling? I am sure they will be a tomato support group, most probably in either Meersbrook or Nether Edge. As it is in the Electrolux' cryogenic suspension chamber in the 'kitchen facility, it may be already be discussing it's issues with lettuce and cucumber. Don't let it near the manic depressive onion though, they just have everyone crying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handypandy Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 1) Remove tomato from said chamber 2) Cut in half 3) Pinch of salt and pepper 4) Pour large glass of Chianti 5) Place tomato in cake hole and munch 6) Quaff Chianti 7) Refill glass 8 ) Repeat steps 6-7 as necessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted July 24, 2011 Author Share Posted July 24, 2011 Water the plant. Feed the plant. Open the window and let a few bugs in (and out, if you like) so there is no shortage of pollinators. Believe it or believe it not ... I've been artificially inseminating the flowers by pretending to be a bee in the guise of a soft watercolour paintbrush. (A clean one before anyone starts!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMozzy Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Believe it or believe it not ... I've been artificially inseminating the flowers by pretending to be a bee in the guise of a soft watercolour paintbrush. (A clean one before anyone starts!) Hmmmm. Could this be a clue as to the requirement for undead (etc) stripy insects? Some kind of disguising ploy? I think we need to be told. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Hmmmm. Could this be a clue as to the requirement for undead (etc) stripy insects? Some kind of disguising ploy? I think we need to be told. No! ... I'm merely asking what the best way to deal with one tomato is. Must everything I write now be automatically associated with wasps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMozzy Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 No! ... I'm merely asking what the best way to deal with one tomato is. Must everything I write now be automatically associated with wasps? Yes. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMozzy Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Sorry, on reflection that seems a little harsh. So how about if we say "just when it mentions insects in some shape or form"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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