Dear Forum... Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Dear Forum, My partner is not very romantic, he does not indulge in deep conversation with me anymore and is not the type to put his arms around me, hug on the settee without me asking him, but I love him. I felt like when we met he needed me, he had come out of a long term relationship where he told me he was put down. He praised me on how different I was, how I held him and how I told him I loved him. Lately he tells me he doesn't think he is good enough for me. I tell him everyday and show him everyday, I don't know what else I can do, he told me "do you ever think I don't want you to hold me anymore" but it is just me, I have lots of love to give and I don't get how someone who loved me for that now hates that part of me. I would love someone to be intimate with me and say the things I say to my partner. I don't know what to do, I have tried talking to him but he sits in silence or says I am having a go at him. I am just trying to work things out but don't know what he wants anymore. He says it is "just the way he is now" but I can't go on like this, I need to know if he wants what I can give him and if he is willing to give back or for him to tell me he doesn't want the relationship to continue. How do I get an answer as I feel stuck and don't know what to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just_words Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 What about a little solicitous flirting, sit in the armchair opposite him, talk about something you know he will like, try and get him to ask you to come over and join him. Then get him to tell you a story for you, use the if your good method. Maybe even some chocolate, wine or smellies... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANGELFIRE1 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Not qualified to give any kind of "sensible" advice. Just remember that we are here only the once, this life is not a practice for the next one. Make the best of it is the only advice I could offer. I wish you well. Regards Angel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gazza58 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Sounds similar to a lot of other couples,i wouldent take it so personally [ not easy i know] but men and woman are different,woman on the whole do need the cuddles,deep conversation,etc more than a man. I would suggest you do as he says and dont hold him as often,i really think he will then realise how much he does need the cuddles and will be more affectionate towards you. Just my male opinion on things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHEZZFAYE Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 my oh was like that when we first got together so i played him at his own game, i did not hug kiss ect. now hes more intimate as he decided he actually liked the hugs n kisses, so he comes to me for them now and we have been together 6 years in oct and have 2 wonderfull little boys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Location114 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Please take this in a nice positive but sceptical way I think your seeking a solution for a problem that doesnt really exist . You should be fully aware by now that men do sometimes feel there not worth all the woman is I in particular do i know that much. The harsh reality of the situation is couples do tend to be alot more affectionate when there new to the relationship once you settle down and become 'comfy' in your relationship you do tend to lose abit of that close affection. Sometimes people lack in confidence and when that situation arises the one and only thing you could do is let the man get over it in his own time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hodgepig66 Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 You say that you love him so it's got to be worth fighting for..... What are your ages and how long have you been together...... Is he depressed for any reason that you know of,not talking and been closed can be a sign.... You need to get him to open up to you and be honest,what has changed for him,and why..... Got to be blunt but could he be having an affair,has his behaviour changed,distant,mood swings,(it's not you it's me) Been spending more time away from home the list goes on..... Go with your gut instint if he's having a rough time be there,help him through it,if it's the other you need to find out.....good luck..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Total Chaos Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Please take this in a nice positive but sceptical way I think your seeking a solution for a problem that doesnt really exist . You should be fully aware by now that men do sometimes feel there not worth all the woman is I in particular do i know that much. The harsh reality of the situation is couples do tend to be alot more affectionate when there new to the relationship once you settle down and become 'comfy' in your relationship you do tend to lose abit of that close affection. Sometimes people lack in confidence and when that situation arises the one and only thing you could do is let the man get over it in his own time. All true and then you fall out of love and then go your seperate ways even after 15 yrs together.Bloody women, a waste of space Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Location114 Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 Is it me or do i sense a hint of bitterness there? All true and then you fall out of love and then go your seperate ways even after 15 yrs together.Bloody women, a waste of space Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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