decaff Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Went for lunch with a woman who works on reception in the block i work in. Was just a friendly lunch and while i do get on with the woman I am getting married next year and had no intention of doing anything but eat food. Have told my fiancee and asked if she was ok with it because if she wasn't then i wouldn't do it again. But now she's told me that she is worried because i have mentioned it and doesn't know what to say What do I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electro_bits Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Shouldn't have told the missus mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stvoider Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Which one is hotter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peewee84 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 The very fact that you have told her about it and been upfront and honest should show her you have no hidden agenda. If you give her no other reason not to trust you, I'd explain to her that it is a work lunch between friends and invite her to meet you both for lunch one day as well so she feels more secure. While I agree that there is a line, you're partner shouldn't dicatate who you see socially and while you should do everything in your power to make her feel secure, you are going to come into contact with the female of the species in a social environment many more times in your life when your fiancee isn't there. So reassure her she can trust you, invite her along, and carry on doing what you're doing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Do you not have any other female friends? Is your fiance expecting you to cut off all contact with women but her? Or is it just a big deal because you made a point of mentioning it and that makes her think there was something to worry about. You'll have lots of things like this to sort out in married life, just talk about it and explain. You were telling her about it so that someone else didn't tell her in a malicious gossipy way, it probably came across wrong because you wouldn't behave like that if you went for lunch with a bloke from reception, you're allowed female friends, she's allowed male friends, neither of you need to justify it to the other if you go for lunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Ryan* Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Half the time its not worth the hassle of telling the other half, no matter how harmless it is.. prepare yourself for paranoia! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimba Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Went for lunch with a woman who works on reception in the block i work in. Was just a friendly lunch and while i do get on with the woman I am getting married next year and had no intention of doing anything but eat food. Have told my fiancee and asked if she was ok with it because if she wasn't then i wouldn't do it again. But now she's told me that she is worried because i have mentioned it and doesn't know what to say What do I do? It sounds to me and my amateur psychiatrist persona that you are actually a little insecure and have done the fundamental mistake of testing the water to see if your girlfriend shows any signs of jealousy in an attempt to gauge how much she cares for you. The solution is to admit that I am right in my assessment, tell her your findings and admit how stupid you have been. Its easy to get over this but don't try plastering over it because you will make the situation worse, you know why you told her, there could be no other possible reason, other that your just plain stupid and that's not a very good trait to want to show a possible wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineS Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 God help you when you are married if this is how she reacts now! The very fact that you 'asked' if she was OK with it says 1 thing (why should you feel obliged to ask if she was OK with you doing something innocent?). Now the fact that she 'doesn't know what to say because you mentioned it to her'!! Crazy!! How would she react if you didn't tell her? Never mind you thinking you have put your foot in it, I think you need to take your foot from wherever you have 'put it' and give her a kick up the backside and tell her to get a grip! Seems like a situation you ain't going to win! Women are strange creatures. I am a woman and still don't understand us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Methinks the OP should've used the Dear Forum thingy for this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimba Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Methinks the OP should've used the Dear Forum thingy for this They are saving that for when they are left standing at the alter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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