Cyclone Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 Well thats just weird. I sometimes I mention to my partner if I've met up with a male friend but only as part of conversation. I never sit him down and say 'look darling I've something to tell you. I met up with another man, but theres nothing in it. Are you ok with that?' Of course she's going to be a bit spooked! Exactly, that's what I was trying to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salsafan Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Anyway, since you opened this can of worm then shouldn't you really check and see each other's reactions and work through this, if there is indeed any issues or whatever? I have to even declare this kind of relationship with just my female friends never mind male friends. "So who is this new girl then?" Me: "Oh, I met her through xyz, we talked about abc..." Basically, it is a case of, who is this person to you, and what and why. This is called open communications, and even with female friends, like, the really close ones, I also expect them to be open to their OH too of some of the personal issues that I tell them etc. As I really do not think that couples should have any lies to each other, or any kind of closed relationship or feelings. I also do things to maintain my relationship with them as well. Why write online here, and not tell your missus that you are concerned about her perception of you and that social outing with this person ? If anything, it raises issues on how you guys see the relationships, and what your own expectations are from it. At least you can then do something about it, adjust it, or whatever to your own coupledom. I do think that you should indeed talk to her about it, cos you seemed so much more concerned about this afterwards than your missus. As you get older, you slowly lose the friends from the opposite sex you know, unless you all met and know know each other well. Sometimes releasing some angst is okay, but you also got to be truthful about the fact that you did it. I mean, what else saves a marriage or relationship if not honesty ? You cannot expect each partner to take it in and not react to it in any way, so.. give it time as well to let things settle. This is a good practice of handling relationship issues that may arise from your marriage if anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauren84 Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I think I have found what is wrong here..... Does the woman from reception have a soft spot for you, you know she has and you find it as a little bit of an ego boost. Then you feel guilty about it and that you might have encouraged your new lunch partner so feel like you have to 'come clean' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I have more female friends than male by far and I spend a lot of time with them and I dont tell my OH everything. Its a matter of trust, not only in each other but in yourselves too, if someones going to play around then they`ll do it no matter what so if you can trust yourselves and each other than it shouldnt matter how many members of the opposite sex you see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauren84 Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I have more female friends than male by far and I spend a lot of time with them and I dont tell my OH everything. Its a matter of trust, not only in each other but in yourselves too, if someones going to play around then they`ll do it no matter what so if you can trust yourselves and each other than it shouldnt matter how many members of the opposite sex you see. If its innocent then you won't tell your OH everything as it is normal every day behaviour which is frankly quite boring. I mean would you give your partner word for word account of the conversation between you and the check out lady!!! You only repeat the significant parts of the day, such as interesting news, good or bad, special things, funny things or to have a moan. I think it must be out of the ordinary for the OP or he wouldn't make such a deal out of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 If its innocent then you won't tell your OH everything as it is normal every day behaviour which is frankly quite boring. I mean would you give your partner word for word account of the conversation between you and the check out lady!!! You only repeat the significant parts of the day, such as interesting news, good or bad, special things, funny things or to have a moan. I think it must be out of the ordinary for the OP or he wouldn't make such a deal out of it Well yeah you have a good point. I lived with someone who was constantly suspicious and questioned everything I did and now Im with the exact opposite of her and thinking about it I must say that if something different happened Id mention it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treatment Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Im not sure myself now Left in the church, is that altar ? I only pretend to be bright Could be an Aisle of Plenty - not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BananaSplit Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 All of my work colleagues are male - we very occasionally go for a drink before starting work. If I had to ask my partner if that was OK, I'd be having doubts about marrying them for sure! Surely the fundamental bottom line of any serious relationship is trust? Is there any particular reason your girlfriend is wary of the receptionist OP? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosieadamson Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 i totaly agree with what peewee84 has said here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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