TeaFan Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I've done 'well' in the sense that in our society, having a reasonably well paid job (and having nearly always been in work), a degree, a house, no major health problems, nice kids, a fairly orderly life is considered doing well. But I can't take credit for it, it was my mum and dad. They did a good job of helping me learn what I needed to learn to do 'well', gave me a stable upbringing, promoted the value of education and were supportive. They can't take credit for that, it was their mums and dads. People who do very badly, their mums and dads did the opposite of all those things. If you've done well and your childhood wasn't a mess, you can't take the credit, you didn't get yourself where you are today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chem1st Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 'Doing well' is somewhat subjective. Suppose as long as someone is happy, they have done well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitisbad Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 what's your point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeaFan Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 what's your point? Every day at work I end up sat across a desk from someone who is doing badly, often very badly indeed. After a while I started to think 'why am I on this side of the desk and they on that side?". I started to see that the uniting thread between these people is that their mums and dads did a pretty hopeless job (alcoholism, no interest in education, didn't help their kids make good choices, sexual abuse, that sort of thing). And then I thought that congratulating yourself on where you've got to is vain and dishonest, most peoples' trajectories are well and truly set before they've even started secondary school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andygardener Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 So given your more intelectual familly background and the likes of my sturdy yeoman background those sort of upbringings pretty much cover everything we need as a country surely? Seems like a lot of money is being spent on a complete death spiral of state funded multigenerational drug addled failure which is the cause of most crime and greggs bakeries in the country. Maybe it's time to break the spiral? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeaFan Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 So given your more intelectual familly background and the likes of my sturdy yeoman background those sort of upbringings pretty much cover everything we need as a country surely? Seems like a lot of money is being spent on a complete death spiral of state funded multigenerational drug addled failure which is the cause of most crime and greggs bakeries in the country. Maybe it's time to break the spiral? I could get into a long discussion about cycles of dysfunction and all that, but the main point I wanted to make is that people should be less quick to judge others who seem to be making a mess of things. In their place we'd probably be doing exactly the same - we just got lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andygardener Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I could get into a long discussion about cycles of dysfunction and all that, but the main point I wanted to make is that people should be less quick to judge others who seem to be making a mess of things. In their place we'd probably be doing exactly the same - we just got lucky. A point I absolutely agree with. Work ethic and desire to achieve what you can come from good parenting and that can be a more accedemic path or just getting good at manual stuff. A kid born to a smackhead or a burglar or a benefit fraudster has vastly less change in life than we have and we should understand that, we should sympathise with that. My concern is that we then take people like that and give them more money if they breed than if they do not. If that is not willfully perpetuating a problem then what is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitisbad Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Every day at work I end up sat across a desk from someone who is doing badly, often very badly indeed. After a while I started to think 'why am I on this side of the desk and they on that side?". I started to see that the uniting thread between these people is that their mums and dads did a pretty hopeless job (alcoholism, no interest in education, didn't help their kids make good choices, sexual abuse, that sort of thing). And then I thought that congratulating yourself on where you've got to is vain and dishonest, most peoples' trajectories are well and truly set before they've even started secondary school. yeah but I know people who have been given the best start in life and are still losers in life. to presume that someone is where they are just down to their parents seems a bit of a daft broad view of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DT Ralge Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I agree with the OP's premise but also think that some people make their own luck in spite of their background. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFKvsNixon Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I've always believed that success is attained by working hard, so you're in a good position to take advantage of good luck when it comes around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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