angels_fall Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 I'm not trying to have a go at you here or stick up for him, although I can see it probably looks like that. From what you've been saying then it does seem like he is indeed a waste of space. It would be good though if you could even have one chat with him, even if that chat just confirmed what you think of him, at least you would know for definite then. Have you ever thought about going to visit him face to face to get some answers? i cant really go and visit him, he has a wife and children to think about and although i hate him for what he has done, i cant take it out on them if they dont know, my appearance after all these years may rock thier entire world, if you get what i mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Spyda Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 i cant really go and visit him, he has a wife and children to think about and although i hate him for what he has done, i cant take it out on them if they dont know, my appearance after all these years may rock thier entire world, if you get what i mean. Ahhh yeah i get you. I wont ask, but I get what you mean. I think instead of over Facebook, how about putting everything down on paper and sending him a letter with a forwarding address for him. As much as he probably is being a fool about it, you never know what's going on with his Facebook. All down on paper, then the ball is in his court, like a final chance for him to attempt to redeem himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHEZZFAYE Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 i wouldnt waste your time or energy hun my story is similar but different in a few ways. my dad didnt leave us my mum walked out on him, because he would rather sit in the pub and **** his wages up the wall also she left him looking after me one night and when she got home he was sat in the pub bladderd with me fast on at the side of him. he got in contact a few times when i was younger allways when he had a new girlfriend to show how good a dad he was:rant:, that stoped when i got wise to it and threw a handfull of worm down the last ones top i was about 6. i did not see him again untill i went looking for him when i was 15, i regret to admit i believed all the bull he fed me he told me my mum had stoped him visiting yada yada. i ended up moving in with him and his wife and her 4 children ( yes he couldnt look after me but he could look after someone elses 4 kids) after about 2 months i moved in with a friend, i went to visit him one day and after my visit he phoned my mum and told her i had threatened my nan for money and really scared her. i have not spoke to him since my mum nearly died the next day and if she had the last word i spoke to her were not nice, i have no intention of ever letting him in again he does no know he had got 2 grandsons and he never will. as i am his only child, i am his only chance of ever having grandchildren but because he is so selfish and greedy he will never get the pleasure of havin grandsons as i do not want my boys to ever go through what i did with him. he is not a dad he is a sperm doner and i will never think of him any other way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMozzy Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Everyone has their own story but it upsets me when generalised phrases like "abandoned" and "walked out on" are used. Maybe the father feels he is left with no choice and in my son's case it was a heartbreaking but brave thing to do. That's all I want to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid Umpley Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 i am the other side of a similar story, I split with my sons mother when he was about 14 months old. (he is 25 now), i had custody of him thursday - sundays every week, i had to pick him up from her house at 6pm on thursday evenings and drop him back off there at 4pm sundays. she was determined from day one to make live difficult. i could not count the amount of times i would be sat outside her house on thurs on time and she would not be home. i could sit there hours until she finally came in with him at 7 8 9pm to give me a very tired and unhappy child who by now should have been in bed not being shipped accross town. sunday eves where the other way round. we would arrive back at her's to find her not in. by then he is ready to see his mum again and would often be in tears at her absense. If of course i wasnt on time she would be sat in waiting for me to accuse me of not being on time. it was a pure nightmare. as he grew older the many reasons for our divorce slowly became all exagerated and all my fault and over the following ten or so yrs she poisoned him towards me and at 14 he told me he hated me, his mum hated me and he didnt want to come see me anymore. he had a terrible time at school, consumed with that anger his teen years where not good ones. I hope one day he wakes up and realises that his feelings are very one sided and maybe just maybe his mum isnt the angel he sees her as. i now believe i didnt marry a woman, i married a snake with t*ts. so. to the OP. not all absent dads are evil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angels_fall Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 i am the other side of a similar story, I split with my sons mother when he was about 14 months old. (he is 25 now), i had custody of him thursday - sundays every week, i had to pick him up from her house at 6pm on thursday evenings and drop him back off there at 4pm sundays. she was determined from day one to make live difficult. i could not count the amount of times i would be sat outside her house on thurs on time and she would not be home. i could sit there hours until she finally came in with him at 7 8 9pm to give me a very tired and unhappy child who by now should have been in bed not being shipped accross town. sunday eves where the other way round. we would arrive back at her's to find her not in. by then he is ready to see his mum again and would often be in tears at her absense. If of course i wasnt on time she would be sat in waiting for me to accuse me of not being on time. it was a pure nightmare. as he grew older the many reasons for our divorce slowly became all exagerated and all my fault and over the following ten or so yrs she poisoned him towards me and at 14 he told me he hated me, his mum hated me and he didnt want to come see me anymore. he had a terrible time at school, consumed with that anger his teen years where not good ones. I hope one day he wakes up and realises that his feelings are very one sided and maybe just maybe his mum isnt the angel he sees her as. i now believe i didnt marry a woman, i married a snake with t*ts. so. to the OP. not all absent dads are evil. im not saying that all absent dads are evil, some dads will do anything for thier children, im saying that all men that abandon thier children at birth are idiots, then if they go on to make no effort at all with thier kids through out the childs life, then they are not worthy of the name dad and are a complete waste of space and shouldnt be allowed to get away with it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angels_fall Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 Everyone has their own story but it upsets me when generalised phrases like "abandoned" and "walked out on" are used. Maybe the father feels he is left with no choice and in my son's case it was a heartbreaking but brave thing to do. That's all I want to say. everyone has a choice... everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy Jnr Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 everyone has a choice... everyone! This is very true but sometimes making them goes beyond the comprehension of those that are not confronted with the choices to be made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMozzy Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 .................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica23 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 everyone has a choice... everyone! Everyone has a choice, and sometimes that choice is ''carry on attempting to see children in the full knowledge that the ex is making things so difficult that the children are unhappy/distressed/upset about it and the relationship is going to be irreparably damaged'' or ''stop seeing the children in the full knowledge that the relationship is going to be irreparably damaged.'' It's not much of a choice now, is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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