angels_fall Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 Everyone has a choice, and sometimes that choice is ''carry on attempting to see children in the full knowledge that the ex is making things so difficult that the children are unhappy/distressed/upset about it and the relationship is going to be irreparably damaged'' or ''stop seeing the children in the full knowledge that the relationship is going to be irreparably damaged.'' It's not much of a choice now, is it? yes, like i said everyone has a choice, theres laws in place for for parents seeing and engaging with thier children, for example, mum cannot and does not have the right to say you are not seeing your child ever again! if this is what mum says, the man should fight, he has rights too! go and see a solicitor and get the courts to order a contact arrangment. a man walking away from his children or a women for that matter, simply because the other parent says so, does not cut it with me! if the parent is playing games and making contact difficult, take it back to court, keep a written record of all the games the parent has played and how they have made contact difficult, then show the courts, they will then order something to be done about it. no one should walk away from thier child just because the other parent is playing silly buggers, theres ways round everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica23 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Well, each to their own opinion-wise. If it was me, I'm not sure if I'd have the stomach for a legal battle knowing my children were being told horror stories about me by their resident parent and my chances of developing a decent relationship with them were slim to nil anyway because of that. I completely agree that parents not having contact with their children is a dreadful thing, but I also think that the resident parent has a duty to ensure that whatever issues they have with their ex are not brought up in front of the children and that access is as smooth and trouble free as possible (except in cases of abuse, etc.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walkertelecoms Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Never ever let your child know they weren't planned. We let all 3 of ours know (twins +1) they were desperately constructed, and their rooms and future were parleyed before I even knew the colour of moms underwear We talk about how the twins conception seem to coincide with the 18 years we've been living in this house. When I'm in a particular jolly mood I explain it must've been the time their mom tripped over the door step carrying the cases in the rest is history (or Scott & Rebecca as we now know them) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manofstrad Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Never ever let your child know they weren't planned. We let all 3 of ours know (twins +1) they were desperately constructed, and their rooms and future were parleyed before I even knew the colour of moms underwear We talk about how the twins conception seem to coincide with the 18 years we've been living in this house. When I'm in a particular jolly mood I explain it must've been the time their mom tripped over the door step carrying the cases in the rest is history (or Scott & Rebecca as we now know them) A lovely post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittenta Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 ]Don't you think the bit in bold was an unnecessary thing to do? It seems like you are making him out to be a bad person for personal reasons. [/b] From a personal perspective I have known several woman who have been rejected by their partners and then made life hell for them as they cant cope with the situation of seeing their ex. I also have a daughter in law whose mother left her children when they were 3 so it works both ways and shows its not only men that leave. As to this quote by the OP; "so my message to all men out there, if you dont want a child, put something on the end of it!" As the male has no say or rights in any pregnancy or abortion then surely its up to the woman also to take necessary steps not to get pregnant. Any woman that has unprotected sex should know very well what the consequences could be. My bold. In a word, no. It is the eldest who has seen them as he believed that there was nothing in place, no certain days they were meant to see him etc. It was my son who was looking for answers. Surely it's better to show him the truth than to tell him the truth and him still wonder? He's a teenager and so understands a lot more than the younger one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeX Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 yes, like i said everyone has a choice, theres laws in place for for parents seeing and engaging with thier children, for example, mum cannot and does not have the right to say you are not seeing your child ever again! if this is what mum says, the man should fight, he has rights too! go and see a solicitor and get the courts to order a contact arrangment. a man walking away from his children or a women for that matter, simply because the other parent says so, does not cut it with me! if the parent is playing games and making contact difficult, take it back to court, keep a written record of all the games the parent has played and how they have made contact difficult, then show the courts, they will then order something to be done about it. no one should walk away from thier child just because the other parent is playing silly buggers, theres ways round everything. you know jack about the whole family courts process if you believe what you have written. Go to court you say, that costs money, lots of money £100+ per hour. There are laws you say, but the courts are unable to enforce them, plus a mother can simply say the child was ill etc etc. the legal system in the UK is biased towards the mother. Its not just men who say this, its judges too. This is why we have fathers for justice and Families need fathers amongst other groups dedicated to fighting for the rights men that are denied. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love_rat Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 As is often said on the Jeremy Kyle show Anyone can father a baby but it takes a real man to be a dad. Strictly speaking, the above phrase is not entirely true, why? well let me explain. Many men who would make perfect fathers (kind, caring, hard working etc....) often don't get a look in when it comes to women, and so these men are overlooked and as such, never father a baby. On the other hand. You get a violent man, a drug taker, a dole scrounger and a drinker and this particular tends to father many babys. SO to say "any man can father a baby" is not true. On another note, but within the same subject, why do so many women have unprotected sex with the very kind of man - who will do a runner at the very thought of responsibilty? YOu have to ask the question - who is at fault? The kind of man who have fathered and done a runner in the past, is now doubt going to do the same in the future, and if he gets an opportunity of quick sex he isn't going to turn it down in the same way my rabbit wouldn't turn down the offer of eating a load of price lettuces on an allotment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloomdido Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 If threads could have a sponsor, this one would be called "Jeremy Kyle". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid Umpley Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 or there's the situation i described earlier. left me so badly hurt that there's no way i will ever consider fathering a child again. very few mums ever get to know the pain of being a weekend parent. thats a pain i will never have again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloomdido Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 or there's the situation i described earlier. left me so badly hurt that there's no way i will ever consider fathering a child again. very few mums ever get to know the pain of being a weekend parent. thats a pain i will never have again. Where earlier? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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