rollwithit Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Congratulations on dealing with your bully rollwithit, some people however are either too afraid to deal with it head on or too afraid to upset the delicate feelings of the bully in question. Spent too many years being bullied in my youth dude to let it happen in my employment. I am a happy go lucky person and actually say to people, if they have a problem with it, tell me directly, and I won't impose my sence of humour on them. If I ever take the **** at work, I never make jokes about peoples vulnerabilities as thats not fair. More scenarios which happen with in work that tend to make us all have a chuckle. Picking on someone about their race, religion, sexuality, disability, physical apperence etc is out of line and in our workplace would probably get you instant dismissle. I'm dyslexic and I've had colleagues laugh at certain silly mistakes I've made in letters. I could go running to a manager crying that they are bullying about a recognised disability. But I don't because even I think it's god dam funny lol. The actual works serious enough without colleagues making a meal out of the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donkey Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 If I ever take the **** at work, I never make jokes about peoples vulnerabilities as thats not fair. More scenarios which happen with in work that tend to make us all have a chuckle. Picking on someone about their race, religion, sexuality, disability, physical apperence etc is out of line and in our workplace would probably get you instant dismissle. . If someone doesn't want to engage in 'banter' with you, it is probably because they aren't any good at it. It doesn't matter what it is about. If you constantly feel the need to show you are sharper and wittier than them, you are building yourself up by humiliating them. Why would you need to do that? It is the verbal equivalent of physically pushing someone weaker than you around. It sounds like a classic bully mentality to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitisbad Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 it's political correctness gone mad! You can't have a bit of banter with your coworkers, you can't goto the pub for lunch, and you can't sleep with your secretary. The world has become a much duller place Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denlin Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Aw bless! You need a forum hug. iginally Posted by LDeville Hi We are usually able to handle people, but even we get caught out, eg a recent thread for help. in our experience, even when one beleives they are prepared the bully will attack. They are usally shameless as well, ie makes no diff to him/her what people really think of them, they brush it off asap. Thanks If anybody thinks they are getting bullied unfairly on here there is recourse but generally if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen:D:love: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDeville Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 Spent too many years being bullied in my youth dude to let it happen in my employment. I am a happy go lucky person and actually say to people, if they have a problem with it, tell me directly, and I won't impose my sence of humour on them. If I ever take the **** at work, I never make jokes about peoples vulnerabilities as thats not fair. More scenarios which happen with in work that tend to make us all have a chuckle. Picking on someone about their race, religion, sexuality, disability, physical apperence etc is out of line and in our workplace would probably get you instant dismissle. I'm dyslexic and I've had colleagues laugh at certain silly mistakes I've made in letters. I could go running to a manager crying that they are bullying about a recognised disability. But I don't because even I think it's god dam funny lol. The actual works serious enough without colleagues making a meal out of the day. Hi Good on you and thanks for sharing that with us. We too were bullied at school then thought never again. Sadly, when we are in the thick of it, we think, how the hell did we get into that. Subtle bullying is very diff to deal with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDeville Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 If someone doesn't want to engage in 'banter' with you, it is probably because they aren't any good at it. It doesn't matter what it is about. If you constantly feel the need to show you are sharper and wittier than them, you are building yourself up by humiliating them. Why would you need to do that? It is the verbal equivalent of physically pushing someone weaker than you around. It sounds like a classic bully mentality to me. Hi Very good point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollwithit Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Bullying is actually encoraged in institutions such as the army. Openly they will denny it, but we've heard many stories about new recruits commiting suicide because of the bullying. However, the argument for the process known as beastings would be that its character building. Having colleagues beast you in the training process is nothing compared to the stress of being in actual combat. The beastings in the armed forces have been part and parcel of the training for weeding out recruites not suited to forces life. Hence I never joined lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alstromeria Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Easy to say if you haven't been bullied in the workplace. Yes some people are overly sensitive but that is not the same as being bullied. It's the same as when you were at school. Some people would always be picked on for being different or being the easy target. This often continues into adulthood and there's no excuse for it. I was unfortunate enough to be bullied in my last job. It was a small group of women and it made my life hell until I left after starting to suffer panic attacks when I went to work. I won't go into everything that happened other than my confidence has still been affected today and I'm always wary of starting a new job. I think people who are bullies as children continue to be bullies as adults and from reading other stories of workplace bullying the school ground cruelty seems to continue into the workplace. I can honestly say that is the worst feeling in the world. It is exactly like being bullied at school. Then, during your 2 days off (or the weekend at school) the dread kicks in.... It's awful. No matter what job i've ever had there has always been one person (always women) who has hated me. Not just didn't like me, I mean despised me. Its horrible. And hard to handle when you're the new girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donkey Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Bullying is actually encoraged in institutions such as the army. Openly they will denny it, but we've heard many stories about new recruits commiting suicide because of the bullying. However, the argument for the process known as beastings would be that its character building. Having colleagues beast you in the training process is nothing compared to the stress of being in actual combat. The beastings in the armed forces have been part and parcel of the training for weeding out recruites not suited to forces life. Hence I never joined lol. And possibly for pandering to the strong element of sadists and bullies who are naturally attracted to life in powerful authoritarian institutions as well. (my bold) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDeville Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 I can honestly say that is the worst feeling in the world. It is exactly like being bullied at school. Then, during your 2 days off (or the weekend at school) the dread kicks in.... It's awful. No matter what job i've ever had there has always been one person (always women) who has hated me. Not just didn't like me, I mean despised me. Its horrible. And hard to handle when you're the new girl. Hi Sorry to hear about your story. A bully usually picks on someone that they secretly envy. A bully will even try to drive the vitims friends away from them. Create isolation and make the victim fear every step and tell lies to managers and pick on every bit of your work. What we try and do is never to meet people outside work, ie parties, gatherins/etc, but easier said than done for some. Try ans steer clear of the bully and test the water and see else hates the bully but be careful of two faced fools. Steer clear of social networking sites as these bullies can hit you there as well our use that to get you the boot. A bully and their followers will for a few hours or days be nice, find out about your background, slag you off behind your back, then start direct attacks when they find ourt you have no family or friends at the place and even use wagainst you what you told them in confidence. in short, keep your personal life away from work and if people ask about where you live/etc/etc keep it to a minum without giving away too much if you can. Bullies usually have a lot of free times on their hands as even managers are scared of them. The free time gives the bullies to mess up peoples lives and make false claims they are running the office and doing "special projects2 when all along you will know that they are doing no work or very little. If possible, grass up the bully with concise facts to the HR dept and any whisltle blowing section you have, keep your name out, but provided them with concise concerns and facts. Do your home work before you do that and tell no one, mean no one at work or outside work unless its your other half or family you can really turst. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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