A poll on attitudes to pornography

[Halibut]

I don't think the impact violent or hardcore porn is perceived to be having on people's sexual relationships is solely or even mainly the fault of the porn industry, though.

 

What's missing or lacking is really good quality sex education that tells young people that it is not ok to do things with your partner that they're unprepared for, or don't like, or have expressed reservations about; that it is not ok to pressure anyone into doing anything sexually that they don't want to do, and that no one has to justify their reasons for not wanting to do something; that the sex portrayed in a lot of porn is not necessarily the sex that people have in the real world (ditto, by the way, the sex portrayed in Hollywood movies, and literature, and music); that consent is a vital, ongoing issue whenever you have sex, of whatever kind; that safe sex is important, and testing for STIs vital - and so on.

 

With that kind of structure and grounding in place - and this could come from parents or schools, although my feeling is that making sex education statutory could help some children whose parents are never going to be able to educate them - you could watch all the hardcore kink in the world and still have healthy, mutually enjoyable sex.

 

An excellent post - I particularly strongly agree with the part I've emboldened.

Your point about porn sex and bodies vs real sex and bodies is important - how can we effectively counter the airbrushed/clean shaven/impossibly perky breasted/massively endowed images that seem at times inescapable.

They're everywhere.

 

I recall the excellent sex ed show on C4 showing a group of teens some natural/real images of male and female genitals. It was astonishing to see the reaction to ordinary breasts and bits as compared to the porn versions.

It was as if they'd never seen pubes, or non - surgically enhanced/trimmed/polished/bleached genitals before and found then vaguely horrific.

[Frank Sidney]

Me too (I was a "streetwalker" for 5 years. It fed my drug habit.

 

No I never worked from a barrow. My stall was in the Castle Market, we specialised in sea food..

[Suffragette1]

An excellent post - I particularly strongly agree with the part I've emboldened.

Your point about porn sex and bodies vs real sex and bodies is important - how can we effectively counter the airbrushed/clean shaven/impossibly perky breasted/massively endowed images that seem at times inescapable.

They're everywhere.

 

I recall the excellent sex ed show on C4 showing a group of teens some natural/real images of male and female genitals. It was astonishing to see the reaction to ordinary breasts and bits as compared to the porn versions.

It was as if they'd never seen pubes, or non - surgically enhanced/trimmed/polished/bleached genitals before and found then vaguely horrific.

 

Seconded. The whole arena of sex education is a veritable minefield. I don't know how much PSHE in secondary schools addresses these issues, at primary level where sex education is introduced, they're too young and immature to be exposed to pornified breasts and genitalia vs the real world. Furthermore, as it is optional, it is quite startling how many kids are refused parental permission to take part in these classes.

 

I would also like to see a whole programme not only empowering girls but educating boys that 'no' means 'no' and how having sex with a comatose girl/woman is totally unacceptable and is construed as rape. Does anyone know whether there is such a programme that explores relationship/sexual issues? My son is in Y8, so I would have thought that would be an ideal age to start having these discussions, especially as they have their HPV vaccine this year. I haven't had to sign any consent forms for further sex education, so am not sure what happens next.

[Halibut]

Seconded. The whole arena of sex education is a veritable minefield. I don't know how much PSHE in secondary schools addresses these issues, at primary level where sex education is introduced, they're too young and immature to be exposed to pornified breasts and genitalia vs the real world. Furthermore, as it is optional, it is quite startling how many kids are refused parental permission to take part in these classes.

 

I would also like to see a whole programme not only empowering girls but educating boys that 'no' means 'no' and how having sex with a comatose girl/woman is totally unacceptable and is construed as rape. Does anyone know whether there is such a programme that explores relationship/sexual issues? My son is in Y8, so I would have thought that would be an ideal age to start having this discussions, especially as they have their HPV vaccine this year. I haven't had to sign any consent forms for further sex education, so am not sure what happens next.

 

It was this that I had in mind in a recent thread where the OP said her husband 'tried it on' when she was asleep. I was astounded that one or two posters appeared to think this was normal or acceptable.

[Suffragette1]

It was this that I had in mind in a recent thread where the OP said her husband 'tried it on' when she was asleep. I was astounded that one or two posters appeared to think this was normal or acceptable.

 

Yeah, I found that disturbing too. It's one thing if this is something that the partner enjoys and has agreed to beforehand, but she obviously didn't nor had consented to it.

[Cyclone]

I think you might have misconstrued what "tried it on" meant. It wouldn't normally involve jumping them and hoping they stayed asleep... Or at least that's not what it meant in my mind!

[Halibut]

I think you might have misconstrued what "tried it on" meant. It wouldn't normally involve jumping them and hoping they stayed asleep... Or at least that's not what it meant in my mind!

 

Glad to hear it!

[Suffragette1]

I think you might have misconstrued what "tried it on" meant. It wouldn't normally involve jumping them and hoping they stayed asleep... Or at least that's not what it meant in my mind!

 

Perhaps. Clarification on that point would have been useful. Anyway, my point remains apropos having sex with comatose females.

[OPEN BORDERS]

I have watched porn. It can be horribly reductive and destructive.

Human sexuality is brilliant and wonderful; porn is ultimately empty and souless.

 

Stop being silly. AGAIN !

[Halibut]

Stop being silly. AGAIN !

 

Can you point out why you think it's silly or are you just going to shout at me and look like someone with anger management issues?