epiphany Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I feel bad in a way that I haven't made any effort to go and see my half nephew (my half sister's son). But then I think, I never see my cousins either and they don't make any effort to see me. My cousins are my mum's sister's children. My half nephew is my dad's daughter's (from his first marriage) son. So it seems to me there is less blood in my half nephew than my cousins because there are two "blood dillutants" (my dad's first wife, my half sister's husband) before my half nephew as opposed to one dillutant (my aunt's husband) before my cousins. Does this mean I can be justifiably relieved from any uncle-based duties? Am I thinking about this too much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarmOKnee Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I thought it said half a nephew at first and was going to ask where the other half was. Are you sure you're not your own grandpa? I think you're thinking about it too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sierra Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I think it's safe to say you're probably thinking too much about this, but that's ok. I do the same thing. I have second cousins I'm very close to, and a couple first cousins I've never met, mostly because they live in another country. Perhaps a card at Christmas, with a photo and telling them how you are and asking how they are. They can choose to respond or not. I'm sure no one will hold it against you if you choose not to play uncle, but I'm sure your little half nephew will appreciate you remembering him. I would say it's your call. Would any of us have anything to do with certain people if they weren't family? There's a few people I'd have to think twice about. One of my sisters and I have never really "bonded", even as children. However, she has a son who is a very good boy and who deserves his aunt's love and attention. He is actually a lot like his mother, and the personality traits I found so jarring as a child, aren't so bad now that I'm grown. It's like I get to have a relationship with my sister all over again, only this time, we aren't at each other's throats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bulgarian Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I have the same problem with my sisters friends aunts neice in laws brother, I never see him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitisbad Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 meh, extended family is over rated. I see my grandparents and my uncles and my aunt. I see the extended family at weddings and such, I'll be polite but I don;t have much in common with them so don't go out of my way to see them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANGELFIRE1 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Easy one this, technicaly I have a "half" sister and "half" brother. I have never regarded them as "half", and never will. I love them and their children with a passion that's hard to put into words. Simple as that. Regards Angel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strix Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 This is what the nanny state has given us. We're no longer reliant on family in times of need (how many episodes of 'who do you think you are?' have quirks such as offspring living with an aunt or somesuch on a particular census?), so we just can't be bothered putting any effort in on their behalf either - after all, we can just hold our hands out to the government when things aren't going right for us If you really never had any contact with this kid's mum growing up as a kid, fine, don't bother, but if it's babies you don't know how to deal with, at least send a card, and make the effort when he's about 9 months old and 'a bit more interesting'. This is a great excuse to buy all the toys you never had and still secretly want Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomnom Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 try not to think of him having 'diluted blood' it doesnt matter how blood related you are its about family and family doesnt mean you have to have the same blood ties. id go and see him im sure hed appreciate the effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
epiphany Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 try not to think of him having 'diluted blood' it doesnt matter how blood related you are its about family and family doesnt mean you have to have the same blood ties. id go and see him im sure hed appreciate the effort. Well this is what I'm trying to figure out - what makes people family? How distant can the relation be before you don't feel you have to make the effort for the sake of family? I don't feel close to my half sister or half nephew, yet I feel VERY close to my girlfriend who isn't family (in the true sense of the word). I buy him presents every year, but I don't actually see him. I only buy him presents because of pressure from other family members who seem to think it is all about blood! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joiner andy Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 just be yourself and do what you do! stop worrying your selfish self:hihi: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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