Too Lazy To Push

[alternageek]

Yes, that is another concern, given that around 25% of women give birth by caesarean in the UK, mostly because of an emergency, although I am not sure of the exact percentage.

 

It is believed (or hoped perhaps) that once women have had the risks of surgery explained to them, then the rate of caesarean births will fall. I am not convinced to be honest. I can't really understand why a healthy woman with no history of problematic childbirth would opt for an operation that has such a long recovery time and restricts what you can do afterwards in a way that vaginal childbirth (without complications) doesn't, ie no driving, carrying or lifting the baby for 6 weeks as well as having a far higher risk of post-birth infections and complications.

 

My mother had a csection with me. She had no family to help care for me when I was born and there was no family leave act back then, so Dad couldnt stay home. She drove, picked me up, carried me. She was fine.

 

I think midwives scare/bully women into going naturally, even if they dont want to. I know someone who scheduled (with medical reason) to have a csection and the midwife kept refusing to get her doctor. Even though giving birth would break her hips, the midwife was adamant she should give birth naturally. Surgeon finally came into her room to see why she wasnt being prepped and kicked the midwife out.

[Rupert_Baehr]

I love how 90% of people commenting appear to be men.

Until you have to go through it or even think of going through it, your opinion is worth nothing.

 

I take it you're a single mum?

 

When my wife became pregnant (and I do accept responsibility for that) it became 'our' child.

 

I went to 'La Maze' classes. (I did what I was told.)

 

Eventually (near the due date) my wife went into hospital to have the child. I went too. False alarm, she went home.

 

Quiet weekend. On Monday, I went flying (Well, that's what I was paid to do.)

 

Got an 'Ops Urgent for Rupert' call: "Land ASAP. Your wife is in labour. Get to the hospital."

 

Sorry, people of Swaffham. - We were about 40,000lb too heavy to land, but it was a medical emergency. - If your washing was on the line that day and it got covered in Kerosene, please accept my apologies.

 

Got to the hospital. Wife in early (5cms dilation) stages of labour.

 

The midwife (Major Sandrock - Fred Flintstone's cousin ) said: "Well, thank God you're qualified! I've got 4 BC births and 3 Caesars to do this afternoon. - You're 'it'!"

 

Qualified? Since when? I fly aircraft. I don't do babies!

 

This is how it works:

 

You bend over your wife (who is laying on the bed feeling sorry for herself) and she LOCKS an arm around your neck. That is your position. Bent horizontal. For as long as it takes.

 

She panics.

You remind her how to do the breathing bit (well, you did go to the bloody classes. Didn't you?)

She panics some more. Eventually, she realises that although she didn't pay any attention to what the laMaze nurse was saying, you did. So you must be a total idiot because you haven't 'reminded' her what she needs to know by osmosis.

 

Osmosis is, of course, the only way that couples can communicate effectively during childbirth. The husband can't speak [he's either being garrotted or trying to stay alive] the wife can't hear (her ears are turned off.)

 

If this is the first birth, it might be the first time that the husband has encountered this phenomenon.

 

Get used to it.

 

If you, Sierra or others, chose not to involve the other responsible person in the birth of your child, that's up to you.

 

Getting my wife pregnant was fun, but being present at the birth (and in my case, because Jane Sandrock was so busy I ended up being the midwife) is something I'll never forget.

[Suffragette1]

My mother had a csection with me. She had no family to help care for me when I was born and there was no family leave act back then, so Dad couldnt stay home. She drove, picked me up, carried me. She was fine. I think midwives scare/bully women into going naturally, even if they dont want to. I know someone who scheduled (with medical reason) to have a csection and the midwife kept refusing to get her doctor. Even though giving birth would break her hips, the midwife was adamant she should give birth naturally. Surgeon finally came into her room to see why she wasnt being prepped and kicked the midwife out.

 

She was lucky as she could have ruptured her stitches.

 

There are good and bad midwives as there are good and bad people in all professions and your friend's experience sounds dreadful. As for 'being bullied and scared into going naturally' that's an odd statement to make. What's the alternative? A c-section because it will hurt?

[alternageek]

I take it you're a single mum?

 

When my wife became pregnant (and I do accept responsibility for that) it became 'our' child.

 

Im not, and dont really plan on being so due to a fear of giving birth (thanks to seeing a one on VHS tape in high school - BEST birth control EVER), but if I was to do so, it be by csection.

 

She was lucky as she could have ruptured her stitches.

 

There are good and bad midwives as there are good and bad people in all professions and your friend's experience sounds dreadful. As for 'being bullied and scared into going naturally' that's an odd statement to make. What's the alternative? A c-section because it will hurt?

 

I belong to a forum, where a lot of people have had kids here, and where theyve been unsure of what they want, but more leaning towards a csection. The midwives were telling them there will be less of a connection with their child and they wont be able to breastfeed, yadda yadda. Making them feel guilty and less of a mother because of their choices. If thats not bullying I dont know what is. A woman shouldnt be made feel guilty on how she wants to bring her child into this world.

[Flowersfade]

Anyone who thinks a c section is an easy option is a fool. Yes it may be quicker to give birth that way however there are many complications and after care is a nightmare.OP I find it hard to believe your wife didn't complain about child birth. Having been through it myself I can attest it is bloody painful & hard. However incredibly rewarding.

[lynsey82]

I'm currently very heavily pregnant and due to have our baby in 2 wks time. This is my second child and although my first birth was somewhat horrific I have never even thought about having a c/s this time round. Mainly as it is major surgery, a long recovery and can often lead to bonding problems with the baby. My first birth hurt like hell (38hrs and eventually delivered by ventouse and forceps plus a nice tear) but I wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last to go through it, in my opinion i was extremely lucky that pain relief and medical staff were available......a hundred yrs ago or even more recently (sorry don't know the history of it all) that wouldn't have been the case. I was reassured that should there be a problem there was a theatre and staff there ready and waiting, this wouldn't be the case if the theatre's were full of women that were simply too scared for a natural childbirth and had elected for a cs. I admit that midwives can be pushy but so can a desperate pregnant woman that is terrified of childbirth after listening to everyones horror stories. I think c/sections should only be available for medical reasons. This time i'm hoping to have a waterbirth with pain relief if necessarry....i just hope the theatre's not busy with elective c/sections (i believe they've already started as i know quite a few women that have had them recently) to take me in if needs be.

 

I do believe that it's simply the fear factor of childbirth that drives women to think that a c/s is the easy option.

[Suffragette1]

Im not, and dont really plan on being so due to a fear of giving birth (thanks to seeing a one on VHS tape in high school - BEST birth control EVER), but if I was to do so, it be by csection.

 

 

 

I belong to a forum, where a lot of people have had kids here, and where theyve been unsure of what they want, but more leaning towards a csection. The midwives were telling them there will be less of a connection with their child and they wont be able to breastfeed, yadda yadda. Making them feel guilty and less of a mother because of their choices. If thats not bullying I dont know what is. A woman shouldnt be made feel guilty on how she wants to bring her child into this world.

 

This depends on how that information is being imparted, surely it is better and in the mother's interest to make an informed decision? Those are certainly a couple of the risks with a c-section and they are interlinked. I think that some studies have been carried out which show a decrease in the body's oxytocin hormonal release, which is what happens all throughout labour. This powerful hormone is believed to reponsible for helping mothers bond with their babies and triggers an overwhelming surge of love for the newborn.

[Suffragette1]

I'm currently very heavily pregnant and due to have our baby in 2 wks time. This is my second child and although my first birth was somewhat horrific I have never even thought about having a c/s this time round. Mainly as it is major surgery, a long recovery and can often lead to bonding problems with the baby. My first birth hurt like hell (38hrs and eventually delivered by ventouse and forceps plus a nice tear) but I wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last to go through it, in my opinion i was extremely lucky that pain relief and medical staff were available......a hundred yrs ago or even more recently (sorry don't know the history of it all) that wouldn't have been the case. I was reassured that should there be a problem there was a theatre and staff there ready and waiting, this wouldn't be the case if the theatre's were full of women that were simply too scared for a natural childbirth and had elected for a cs. I admit that midwives can be pushy but so can a desperate pregnant woman that is terrified of childbirth after listening to everyones horror stories. I think c/sections should only be available for medical reasons. This time i'm hoping to have a waterbirth with pain relief if necessarry....i just hope the theatre's not busy with elective c/sections (i believe they've already started as i know quite a few women that have had them recently) to take me in if needs be.

 

I do believe that it's simply the fear factor of childbirth that drives women to think that a c/s is the easy option.

 

I think that most women are scared of labour, I was, both times. The first time is the unknown and fear of the pain, as well as having a successful outcome for all and subsequent ones it's a fear of the 'known'! The pain is undeniably horrendous; I had an epidural the first time and no pain relief at all the second (not through choice). The contractions are worse than the pushing, in my experience.

[llamatron]

Im not, and dont really plan on being so due to a fear of giving birth (thanks to seeing a one on VHS tape in high school - BEST birth control EVER), but if I was to do so, it be by csection.

 

 

 

I belong to a forum, where a lot of people have had kids here, and where theyve been unsure of what they want, but more leaning towards a csection. The midwives were telling them there will be less of a connection with their child and they wont be able to breastfeed, yadda yadda. Making them feel guilty and less of a mother because of their choices. If thats not bullying I dont know what is. A woman shouldnt be made feel guilty on how she wants to bring her child into this world.

 

I reckon I watched the same video, although I think I had already decided I didn't want any sprogs I think that may have cemented the idea.

 

...and yes I concur, if I was forced to have one, it would be by c-section! Maybe they should stop showing that video.

[Ian Dome]

Anyone who thinks a c section is an easy option is a fool. Yes it may be quicker to give birth that way however there are many complications and after care is a nightmare.OP I find it hard to believe your wife didn't complain about child birth. Having been through it myself I can attest it is bloody painful & hard. However incredibly rewarding.

 

C-Section is really easy for the woman if they're with a caring man who is prepared to wait on them hand and foot for a week while they recover.

 

The rewarding bit of childbirth is the baby, not the way in which it arrives.