Towton Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 He lives seperately from his long-term partner of six yrs, who is on benefits (incl. DLA) who has his two young kids in another town. The CSA aren't involved, but when he works he gives her what he can money-wise when he went over. They have got along reasonably well until recently he found that she had been, over months, texting some other guy in messages that hinted that they could drop into her home after he had gone some nights. She also has been bad-mouthing him & laughing to friends of hers locally regarding receiving gifts and 'getting him' to pay her bills etc. He texted her to let her know he found this all out, she denied being two-faced and he is now concerned that, as she goes into guilty denial, and that he is now wary of the people in her area, she might not get his kids to ring him each day? What should he do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSmith Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 The most important thing to do is to keep supporting his children. Continue being friendly with his x partner and get on with his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeoplesChamp Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 He lives seperately from his long-term partner of six yrs, who is on benefits (incl. DLA) who has his two young kids in another town. The CSA aren't involved, but when he works he gives her what he can money-wise when he went over. They have got along reasonably well until recently he found that she had been, over months, texting some other guy in messages that hinted that they could drop into her home after he had gone some nights. She also has been bad-mouthing him & laughing to friends of hers locally regarding receiving gifts and 'getting him' to pay her bills etc. He texted her to let her know he found this all out, she denied being two-faced and he is now concerned that, as she goes into guilty denial, and that he is now wary of the people in her area, she might not get his kids to ring him each day? What should he do? He should do whats best for his kids. If his partner is a slag then so what? Dosent mean she isnt a good mum, just an easy lay with questionable morals. Main thing is, stay calm what ever he does. Going in all guns blazing will give her all the ammo she will ever need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Towton Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 He's tempted to do both- go in angry but definately support the kids. But what if it all changes every month on her whim? What if she decides she won't ring him for the kids to speak to him, when she feels like it? If he goes to court to get definate dates to see/speak to them, would CSA get involved? I'm asking as my sis (his mom) is going crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSmith Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 He's tempted to do both- go in angry but definately support the kids. But what if it all changes every month on her whim? What if she decides she won't ring him for the kids to speak to him, when she feels like it? If he goes to court to get definate dates to see/speak to them, would CSA get involved? I'm asking as my sis (his mom) is going crazy. No point worrying about it unless it happens, he has to continue getting on with her, don't bring up her past and there should be no reason for her to stop him speaking to and seeing the kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Towton Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 I think some official organisation should set ground rules for the kid's benefit? So neither adult can change when it suits them out of spite? Otherwise it's all down to mood and blackmail emotionally? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halibut Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 It's really none of his business if his ex is seeing anybody is it? He should ignore any provocations from this woman and just try and do the best for his kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Towton Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 It's really none of his business if his ex is seeing anybody is it? He should ignore any provocations from this woman and just try and do the best for his kids. You have it wrong, she was not his ex, until he discovered the above. Now, on a whim, she may or may not change accessibility to the kids when it suits. That's our concern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aelfheah Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I think some official organisation should set ground rules for the kid's benefit? So neither adult can change when it suits them out of spite? Otherwise it's all down to mood and blackmail emotionally? I agree. Tell him to see how the next time goes, and take it from there, but it might be a very good idea to check out his parental rights or court decisions work to ensure that the kids are guaranteed to see him always, not when either party get peed off with trivial stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pkingy Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 a case for jeremy kyle perhaps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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