Towton Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I'm concerned about someone's two young kids (about 3 and 5), the single mum - not abusive physically, shouts at her kids endlessly until they cry and her home is, according to another concerned relative who visits now and again, a mess. She has a history of depression and is on prescribed medication. But this mess means unwashed clothes strewn across the floor and vacuum cleaner/iron flexes sometimes amongst them on the floor. There is no spare space to put anything, so crammed full is her home. Her stairs - already there have been falling accidents on them- are used as shelves for shoes and books etc, leaving a narrow path for the kids to use. The kids are clean and seemingly ok, but regarding the unsafe nature of her home I wondered if there is cause for concern? If so, whom do I contact? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mc55 Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 if the mum is already under pressure and depressed, a gentler place to start might be a conversation over a cuppa - how are things going, do you need any help, are there any relatives / friends who would have the kids for an afternoon ... maybe mention that you are concerned that she seems stressed. Perhaps have a scout around and see what groups are available in your area for single mums / young kids. It must be very difficult bringing up two young tots on your own. Just my thoughts - but I'd resist going down an 'official' route to start with, unless you are concerned about the kids immediate safety / welfare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Towton Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Thanks, good idea, but what official departmental options if the latter scenario? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medusa Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 If you have the chat and it doesn't dispel your worries then social services are the people you need to talk to. Lifted from the Sheffield City Council website: If you have a concern about a child/young person or are a child/young person who would like to discuss your situation with a social worker you can make contact at any time by telephone on 0114 273 4855. I hope that you don't need to report their circumstances, but if you're concerned for the children then reporting them may be desperately important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Towton Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Thanks, hopefully I won't need to ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs patching Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I would ring social services and ask for advice from them. Its all very well befriending your neighbour but if she thinks your being nosey it could do more harm than good. I would leave it to the profesionals. If there is a case and the neighbour suspects you of "grassing her up " it could make your postition worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeMaquis Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Presumably at least one of the children will be at school. You could contact them and ask to speak to an inclusion or welfare officer. If the children are constantly being shouted at then their behaviour and learning might be affected. However I think Social Services should be a better starting point. The longer you wait the more emotional harm may be done to the children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schong2111 Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 if the mum is already under pressure and depressed, a gentler place to start might be a conversation over a cuppa - how are things going, do you need any help, are there any relatives / friends who would have the kids for an afternoon ... maybe mention that you are concerned that she seems stressed. Perhaps have a scout around and see what groups are available in your area for single mums / young kids. It must be very difficult bringing up two young tots on your own. Just my thoughts - but I'd resist going down an 'official' route to start with, unless you are concerned about the kids immediate safety / welfare. I totally agree with this post, I think this would be the best option. Have a chat with her, it can put your mind at rest and also help her out, the chances are she feels alone and you reaching out could make the world of difference to her and really improve things, she will feel more supported and you may even make a good friend. If you were to go straight to social services this could put added pressure on someone who may just need a helping hand, social services don't always see a person 'just struggling', they could really have a very negative impact on the family. Talk to your neighbour, if you are still concerned afterwards then maybe social services are the people to call, but contacting them before you know the full ins and outs of someone's problems could make things a lot worse for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strix Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 If she has a pre-schooler, presumably she's still loosely under a health visitor There are lots of things that can be done to help her via the health visitor, including referral to Home Start for a volunteer to give her some time for a couple of hours a week, which is nowhere near as serious as getting social services involved If you can gather some info on voluntary organisations (eg parentline/Home Sart) perhaps you can persuade her to find help herself instead of making her feel worse with official intervention Are you able to offer a friendly ear and cup of tea once or twice a week yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Towton Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 If she has a pre-schooler, presumably she's still loosely under a health visitor Are you able to offer a friendly ear and cup of tea once or twice a week yourself? Yes to both! Thanks everyone! Not easy with small kids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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