Being fat and offensive.

[MC Spyda]

So check the scenarios...

 

You notice someone has lost a hell of a lot of weight and you say "Oh wow, you look so skinny" - They thank you

 

You notice someone has put a hell of a lot of weigh on and you say "Oh wow, you look so fat" - They don't appreciate it

 

Why is it deemed socially acceptable to comment on weight loss, but not weight gain? Would you personally be offended by either of the 2 scenarios?

 

P.s. the thread isn't about the words used (fat/skinny), it's about comments in general, so don't take much notice of the actual wording.

[JackLakeland]

I don't think anyone tries to put weight on but many try to lose weight, so there's credit in loosing weight. One is easy the other not.

[Darth Vader]

I suppose it's nobody' business really and rude to comment on people's appearance either way.

[Darth Vader]

I don't think anyone tries to put weight on but many try to lose weight, so there's credit in loosing weight. One is easy the other not.

 

Many people do indeed try to put weight on and find it incredibly difficult. What is easy for some is not easy for others. One size does not fit all, Jack.

[davyjones]

i defiantly think they should tax over weight people for eating fatty foods.

[MC Spyda]

Many people do indeed try to put weight on and find it incredibly difficult. What is easy for some is not easy for others. One size does not fit all, Jack.

 

This was the point I was going to get to.

 

I know people that have a difficult time putting weight on, yet people would think it's ok to tell them how skinny they are.

[Sierra]

Being complimented on weight loss is nice. The other way, not so much. That's just the way it is. Chances are, you know the person who gained weight isn't happy about it, so why would you comment on it?

 

I hadn't seen a cousin of my husband's in at least ten years. Her husband told me I was the spitting image of his first wife, except I was heavier. Oh GOD. The diet starts tomorrow!

 

I corrected him, I am the first wife!! I don't know who was more uncomfortable, me or him. He apologized, my husband and his cousin thought it was hilarious.

[DerbyTup]

I think most people, with any sense of social awareness, wouldn't make remarks like in the OP's original in any case.

 

They'd say something more along the lines of, "you're looking well" whether they were talking to thin or fat folks, if they wanted to compliment them. And if they were a bit shocked by how thin or fat someone was they'd probably say nothing. If forced, I might comment on something else like their hair, or handbag or something. Anything to distract attention away from their scrawny bony-arsed frame or their corpulent bulging lardy-arsed appearance, if you see what I mean?

[MC Spyda]

People do it all the time. They might not have seen someone for several years, and straight away say something along the lines of "Oooh haven't you lost weight". It's socially acceptable to mention weight loss. For all you know, they might not be trying to lose weight, and the fact that you mention someone's weight loss in a round about way means you are saying that you thought they were fat before. It's almost like a back handed compliment, with a hint of insult.

[JenC]

I don't think anyone tries to put weight on but many try to lose weight, so there's credit in loosing weight. One is easy the other not.

 

That's simply not true. As has been pointed out, a lot of people (myself included) find it very difficult to put on weight, but telling people about it usually provokes a sarcastic, "oh poor you", type comment.

 

Personally I wouldn't comment on someone's weight at all, unless I knew they had been specifically trying to lose/gain weight and had managed to do so.