Electerrific Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 People in love often swear they'll never...this and that. The ex is the ****, never you! But after a split, you are that ****. How does that work? Kids are often so little when their parents split that they haven't a clue what's going on? Prime fruit for brainwashing by the resident parent (usually mum)? More lives ruined? Such bitterness, why do the parents who lose out totally in these battles even carry on...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nubile Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 why do the parents who lose out totally in these battles even carry on...? Thankfully i'm not in this situation, though if i was it's a no brainer, i shall always be there for my kids, come hell or high water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electerrific Posted December 16, 2011 Author Share Posted December 16, 2011 Thankfully i'm not in this situation, though if i was it's a no brainer, i shall always be there for my kids, come hell or high water. As I will, but like you said, you thankfully aren't in that situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
splodgeyAl Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Both my parents did the best by us kids when they split, tho it took me til my mid 30s to truly realise that, mainly cos they did their best to keep their personal animosity away from us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0742Sheff Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Both my parents did the best by us kids when they split, tho it took me til my mid 30s to truly realise that, mainly cos they did their best to keep their personal animosity away from us Unlike mine. One of my strongest memories are of my parents literally doing a tug-o-war with my baby sister in the middle of a community center. I often wonder if they even remember this and other things these days. I certainly do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 My parents were fantastic when they divorced. They never arranged custody of me or Toby and let us go where we wanted, when we wanted which usually ment half a week here and half a week there. I thank my parents for giving me the option to choose for myself, and for never making me feel like I was ammunition during their divorce. I don't think one parent ever felt favoured over the other at any point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Macbeth Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Even from the few posts here it is obvious that not all splits are nasty. And even if they are, it's the parents' responsibility not to load the children down with all their problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_rudeboy Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Even from the few posts here it is obvious that not all splits are nasty. And even if they are, it's the parents' responsibility not to load the children down with all their problems.I would say they are very much in the minority, in my experience. I'm struggling to think of people I know, that have split up, that have any real bitterness or animosity towards eachother, myself included. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronthenekred Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 In the latter years my kids to a point suffered because the ex and I were both unhappy...and it must have showed even though there was never any confrontation. I get on better now with my ex than I ever did. Like Tess the kids were and still are a priority, and would never consider them as a tool. I chose a fantastic mother/parent, I just failed at a partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babooshka Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Kids are often so little when their parents split that they haven't a clue what's going on? Prime fruit for brainwashing by the resident parent (usually mum)? More lives ruined? You make this sound like this is a game for parents involved. Dealing with the split with my child's father is the hardest and longest-lasting trauma of my life. Both personally, and in terms of how it affects my little one. I can assure you that, on my part at least, I always approach this subject with great sensitivity when talking about it with my son. The last thing I do is brainwash him with my own personal feelings. My heart breaks every time I think about the situation, not least because of events that are unfolding on his father's side of things, and I truly wish it could have all been avoided. I would anything to be able to have made everything okay. However, my son seems to be managing very well (I keep a close eye on him and we talk a lot), in fact, he is the bubbliest and happiest little boy I know. We work with what we have got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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