cutie23 Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Hi, was wondering if you could give me some advice for my sister. My mum passed away last year she died abroad when she visiting her mum and dad, to respect our mum’s wishes as a family we decided that she would be buried by her mum and dad. Unfortunately we did not attend our mum’s funeral which was traumatic in itself as there was no closure. Unfortunately my sister has been depressed ever since as I live away from home in a different city, I can’t always see her as regularly as I want to. To add to my sisters low moods, she had to delay uni and she is currently now finishing off her final year, she was supposed to graduate in 2011 but she is finishing in 2012 so she doesn’t get to gradate with her course mates. She doesn’t have to attend uni, as she only has one exam to do in May and her dissertation to hand in. My sister works part time on Saturdays 8 hours in a fashion store however she hates her job partly because it’s not her career her only motive is to earn money, secondly she doesnt get on with her work colleagues and her ex best friend works at the same place who no longer talks to her since our mum died. My sister lives at home with my dad; I have told that what she is feeling is natural as: • Your time is no longer structured- without work or study you have large amount of free time on your hands with freedom to do whatever you like but with little money to do these things. You have no aims for the day so I guess you have the tendency to get up late in the morning and drift aimlessly in the day. • You’ve reached the point where you have acknowledged that you hate the job, it's actually not a bad place to be at. At least you know and you can figure out what to do next. Recently she has been contemplating, in fact she goes round and round in circles about leaving her part time job as she dreads her weekends; my sister is fortunate as she doesn’t have to pay rent due to living at home and has savings. She was thinking of quitting her job and doing some volunteering work and using her savings to fund any activities she needs to do socially till she has finished uni officially in May this year. She then plans to seek full time work. What do you guys think, is this a wise idea given the fact she doesn’t have to pay rent and has savings and work is something she never looks forward to given that her hours are 12pm to 9pm. I have told her to quit as her mental health is important being unhappy is noway to be considering she works in a job where her ex friend blanks her. Her ex friend who also works where my sister works, is a two faced cow as she always she to my sister she would never go out with any of the workmates where they work but now she loves them and has nights out with them. Guess my sister is feeling rejection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strix Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 She needs to see her doctor and talk through her options for dealing with this depression. If they'll refer her for CBT, I've heard this can be VERY effective I agree she'd be better off ditching the job, but it needs to be replaced with something she feels is worth getting up in the morning for - she can get info on places to volunteer from the local library. Finding something relevant to her own experiences may help put things in perspective for her If doesn't want to talk to the doctor, she might consider talking to the people at MIND. A friend used them when she was in a really dark place and they were an absolute godsend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeMaquis Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Recently she has been contemplating, in fact she goes round and round in circles about leaving her part time job as she dreads her weekends; my sister is fortunate as she doesn’t have to pay rent due to living at home and has savings. She was thinking of quitting her job and doing some volunteering work and using her savings to fund any activities she needs to do socially till she has finished uni officially in May this year. She then plans to seek full time work. What do you guys think, is this a wise idea given the fact she doesn’t have to pay rent and has savings and work is something she never looks forward to given that her hours are 12pm to 9pm. I have told her to quit as her mental health is important being unhappy is noway to be considering she works in a job where her ex friend blanks her. She could see if her doctor thinks she could be signed off. If so she could go on Employment and Support Allowance and do some voluntary work. At some point though her doctor might decide she's fit to work in which case she'd be transferred to JSA but if she wants to work that wouldn't be a problem. In the short-term going onto ESA might get her out of her job and get her some money coming in every week (as little as it is). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warrior8 Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Hi, was wondering if you could give me some advice for my sister. My mum passed away last year she died abroad when she visiting her mum and dad, to respect our mum’s wishes as a family we decided that she would be buried by her mum and dad. Unfortunately we did not attend our mum’s funeral which was traumatic in itself as there was no closure. Unfortunately my sister has been depressed ever since as I live away from home in a different city, I can’t always see her as regularly as I want to. To add to my sisters low moods, she had to delay uni and she is currently now finishing off her final year, she was supposed to graduate in 2011 but she is finishing in 2012 so she doesn’t get to gradate with her course mates. She doesn’t have to attend uni, as she only has one exam to do in May and her dissertation to hand in. My sister works part time on Saturdays 8 hours in a fashion store however she hates her job partly because it’s not her career her only motive is to earn money, secondly she doesnt get on with her work colleagues and her ex best friend works at the same place who no longer talks to her since our mum died. My sister lives at home with my dad; I have told that what she is feeling is natural as: • Your time is no longer structured- without work or study you have large amount of free time on your hands with freedom to do whatever you like but with little money to do these things. You have no aims for the day so I guess you have the tendency to get up late in the morning and drift aimlessly in the day. • You’ve reached the point where you have acknowledged that you hate the job, it's actually not a bad place to be at. At least you know and you can figure out what to do next. Recently she has been contemplating, in fact she goes round and round in circles about leaving her part time job as she dreads her weekends; my sister is fortunate as she doesn’t have to pay rent due to living at home and has savings. She was thinking of quitting her job and doing some volunteering work and using her savings to fund any activities she needs to do socially till she has finished uni officially in May this year. She then plans to seek full time work. What do you guys think, is this a wise idea given the fact she doesn’t have to pay rent and has savings and work is something she never looks forward to given that her hours are 12pm to 9pm. I have told her to quit as her mental health is important being unhappy is noway to be considering she works in a job where her ex friend blanks her. Her ex friend who also works where my sister works, is a two faced cow as she always she to my sister she would never go out with any of the workmates where they work but now she loves them and has nights out with them. Guess my sister is feeling rejection. Start looking for full time work NOW. It is so tough out there at the moment that it can take a number of months to find anything so why not start as soon as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 As the others have said it would be wise for her to see her doctor, as for the job - the best time to look for a job is when you have one, but if it is affecting her health then she has to leave - her health is the main thing. My sympathies to your family for the loss of your mother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forumosaurus Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 tl;dr . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ sheffield Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 tl;dr . Do you work for the Samaritans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forumosaurus Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Do you work for the Samaritans lol, as you can tell, they probably wouldn't have me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ sheffield Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 lol, as you can tell, they probably wouldn't have me. Maybe if Polpot was their managing director Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mecky Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Everyone in the universe hates their job, it's only natural. We all have days where we say, "I don't want to go to work," footballers, porn stars, TV celebs (Whatever they are). It's just a fact of life and anyone who says otherwise is lying. I know people who felt hard-done-by in their old job and came to work at our place thinking it would be better but they hate it just as much. A lot of people think the other person's grass is greener but it's not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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