Raising a Child as Gender Neutral

[Frank Sidney]

I can't understand why its such a big problem to treat boys and girls different. They are different.

[Chris_Sleeps]

I can't understand why its such a big problem to treat boys and girls different. They are different.

It's not a problem. It's your choice to do as you wish. It's other people's choice to do as they wish. Aslong as they aren't abusing or hurting the child. I think it's odd to breast feed a child up to the point where it can ask for its lunch, but some people do it. Such is life.

[MrMoran]

It's not a problem. It's your choice to do as you wish. It's other people's choice to do as they wish. Aslong as they aren't abusing or hurting the child. I think it's odd to breast feed a child up to the point where it can ask for its lunch, but some people do it. Such is life.

 

But they are.

Clearly they are.

They are forcing their stupid ideas on an innocent child who will at the very least find it difficult to identfy or integrate with either gender group in years to come.

[onewheeldave]

It's very common in our culture for any child that shows interest in doing things we associate with the other gender, to be bullied out of it.

 

For example, a boy wanting to wear girls clothes or play with girls toys, will often be bullied out of it by their parents.

 

As a boy, one of my earliest memories is of playing with a ballerina doll of my grannies and of the shouting and arguments that commenced when my Dad came in and announced, very loudly and aggressively, that 'he's not playing with dolls!'.

 

Of course, I had no idea what the problem was, i just remember huddling under the table, clutching the doll, while a massive shouting match occured.

 

I also recall a fuss being made at the pre-school I attended, because, on some occasions, when the class was split into boys and girls, so each group could do the 'correct' activity, I would want to stick with the girls: not, because I was confused about my gender, but because the girls tended to be a lot quieter and chilled.

 

Despite that, I grew up to be male and heterosexual. The only damage from those experiences was from the element of bullying that came from those who had an issue with the fact that, as a boy, I sometimes liked doing the things that our society insists are 'girly'.

[Chris_Sleeps]

They are forcing their stupid ideas on an innocent child who will at the very least find it difficult to identfy or integrate with either gender group in years to come.

I don't see why that conclusion should be so easy to come to.

 

Telegraph

 

Dr Daragh McDermott, a psychology lecturer at Anglia Ruskin University, said the effect of raising a gender neutral child is not yet known.

 

He said: "It's hard to say whether being raised gender-neutral will have any immediate or long-term psychological consequences for a child, purely because to date there is little empirical research examining this topic.

 

"That being said, the family setting is only one source of gender-specific information and as children grow, their self-identity as male, female or gender-neutral will be influenced by school, socialisation with other children and adults, as well as mass media.

 

"As a child grows they develop their own independent sense of self that will include their own individual gender identification."

[onewheeldave]

as the article says-

 

Mr Cooper, a computer software designer, said that Sasha is aware he is a boy and has been allowed to grow up taking an interest in whatever he wants.

 

‘If Sasha wants to dress up in girls’ clothes then so be it,’ he added. ‘But we’re not forcing it. The girls’ clothes and fancy dress are for fun at home. We don’t make Sasha go out in girls’ clothes.’

 

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2090169/Sasha-Laxton-Gender-neutral-childs-reaction-mothers-questions-sex.html

 

if they were forcing it on Sasha, then, i would oppose it.

 

Just as I oppose those who force their gender strereotypes on their children, e.g. having a problem if their little boy likes pink.

[Frank Sidney]

It's very common in our culture for any child that shows interest in doing things we associate with the other gender, to be bullied out of it.

 

For example, a boy wanting to wear girls clothes or play with girls toys, will often be bullied out of it by their parents.

 

As a boy, one of my earliest memories is of playing with a ballerina doll of my grannies and of the shouting and arguments that commenced when my Dad came in and announced, very loudly and aggressively, that 'he's not playing with dolls!'.

 

Of course, I had no idea what the problem was, i just remember huddling under the table, clutching the doll, while a massive shouting match occured.

 

I also recall a fuss being made at the pre-school I attended, because, on some occasions, when the class was split into boys and girls, so each group could do the 'correct' activity, I would want to stick with the girls: not, because I was confused about my gender, but because the girls tended to be a lot quieter and chilled.

 

Despite that, I grew up to be male and heterosexual. The only damage from those experiences was from the element of bullying that came from those who had an issue with the fact that, as a boy, I sometimes liked doing the things that our society insists are 'girly'.

 

Fair enough and you're right to a certain extent. However, perhaps your dad was right to stop you playing with dolls because he knew that such behaviour would make your life difficult, at school for example.

 

You will never know if his actions improved your life or made it worse. But I feel your life would have been much more difficult. Its a fact that playing with dolls, as a boy, would have resulted in you being bullied and your life made difficult. I'm not saying that this is right, but its a fact of life.

 

Your parents could have stood firm and allowed you to play with them, but in the long term wanted whats best for you. So in my opinion your dad was right and had your interests at heart...

[Chris_Sleeps]

However, perhaps your dad was right to stop you playing with dolls because he knew that such behaviour would make your life difficult, at school for example.

Would you use the same argument if his Dad had stopped him studying ballet?

[Frank Sidney]

Would you use the same argument if his Dad had stopped him studying ballet?

 

No, I'd refer any critics to Billy Elliot...I think that's a different issue though. Talent at anything is to be encourages in a child...I think the OP is more about behaviour..

[Frank Sidney]

Would you use the same argument if his Dad had stopped him studying ballet?

 

Would you encourage your young son, if you had one, and he wanted to, to play with dolls, bearing in mind how this would be viewed by his friends at school?