Raising a Child as Gender Neutral

[Frank Sidney]

Then that will influence his decision. Just because my hypothetical child does play with dolls doesn't mean he would sit alone and play Barbie while everyone else had a game of football. I think children are hugely conformist, more so than any adult. It's awful to stand out as a child, and that will influence him. It's not my job to take away something he enjoys before he is ready.

 

Unfortunately, if he continued to play with dolls throughout his school days he would end up miserable, and most likely beaten up..

[Fishcake]

Sorry, old habits die hard. How would you feel if erm..'they' came home one day and said "there's something I need to tell you....I think I'm a man."?

 

I would accept him and encourage him to explore his manliness as a normal cyber man. being a cyber man is not a choice though so don't be down on the cyber man life style.

[Chris_Sleeps]

Unfortunately, if he continued to play with dolls throughout his school days he would end up miserable, and most likely beaten up..

Then he'll have to learn to fight if he wants to keep his dolls.

 

Sink-or-swim, my hypothetical son.

[Suffragette1]

I think you could have been too harsh on your friend.

Thats the kind of thing lots of people say, its just to comfort rather than trying to ram him into a pigeon hole.

Ive said it to my kids. Both are well adjusted young people with their own personalities and both are happy to play with boys and girls toys but if my little girl does something unlady like im the first one to tell her "ladies dont behave that way" and if my son does something ungentlemanly ill tell him a real gentleman would do that,

It works, it helps and its harmless.

 

I disagree with your view that it's harmless, it's restrictive and quite the reverse, it does pigeon hole them and can suppress their true personality. I don't want my son to grow up to be the archetypal male who lacks emotional intelligence, whixh in my view is not good for him or anyone he ends up in a relationship with. Similalry, I would never remonstrate with my daughter for 'unladylike behaviour'. If the behaviour is rude and inappropriate then it applies to both sexes in my view and they will be told as such, in a non-gender specific way.

[Frank Sidney]

Then he'll have to learn to fight if he wants to keep his dolls.

 

Sink-or-swim, my hypothetical son.

 

I searched for something to do with "Chucky" on YouTube, but this came up, dunno why, on the same page. Anyway, I thought you guys would enjoy it more...

 

[MrSmith]

'Gay' is a sexuality. You're saying that by raising a child as "gender neutral" that he will not have control over his sexuality. That when he is older he'll not be able to choose on his own.

 

You're wrong. The mother has not done anything to affect how his sexuality will develop.

 

 

He is. It's the basic premise of this entire thread.

 

She may think she is but he clearly knows he’s a boy and all she appears to have done is make a fuss about something many parents do.

[MrSmith]

It's very common in our culture for any child that shows interest in doing things we associate with the other gender, to be bullied out of it.

 

For example, a boy wanting to wear girls clothes or play with girls toys, will often be bullied out of it by their parents.

As a boy, one of my earliest memories is of playing with a ballerina doll of my grannies and of the shouting and arguments that commenced when my Dad came in and announced, very loudly and aggressively, that 'he's not playing with dolls!'.

 

Of course, I had no idea what the problem was, i just remember huddling under the table, clutching the doll, while a massive shouting match occured.

 

I also recall a fuss being made at the pre-school I attended, because, on some occasions, when the class was split into boys and girls, so each group could do the 'correct' activity, I would want to stick with the girls: not, because I was confused about my gender, but because the girls tended to be a lot quieter and chilled.

 

Despite that, I grew up to be male and heterosexual. The only damage from those experiences was from the element of bullying that came from those who had an issue with the fact that, as a boy, I sometimes liked doing the things that our society insists are 'girly'.

 

Wow! I didn't know that kind of thing still happened, how long ago was it.

[MrMoran]

I searched for something to do with "Chucky" on YouTube, but this came up, dunno why, on the same page. Anyway, I thought you guys would enjoy it more...

 

 

You sad sad sad perv!!!

 

Thanks tho, it totaly brightened up my day:D

[MrSmith]

Would you encourage your young son, if you had one, and he wanted to, to play with dolls, bearing in mind how this would be viewed by his friends at school?

 

I niether encouraged or discouraged it with my kids, they played with the toys they preferred, I suppose it may be different if you only have children of the same sex but I have one of each and they played with each other’s toys, even when friends came round boys would play with dolls and kitchens and girls would play with cars and action man.

[Frank Sidney]

I niether encouraged or discouraged it with my kids, they played with the toys they preferred, I suppose it may be different if you only have children of the same sex but I have one of each and they played with each other’s toys, even when friends came round boys would play with dolls and kitchens and girls would play with cars and action man.

 

Yes of course all small toddlers do, but I was more thinking when they were at school, say 7 or 8......