Ms Macbeth Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Please stick to the topic. The OP asked for advice not for a debate about Islam, social services or children's names. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pottedplant Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 I have been with my partner for 10 years and we have two children. we have a joint house and both put capital in. The relationship has ended. I want to stay in the house with the children. I don't want to uproot them. My partner said he wants me and kids to move out. He said about selling house (at a loss). With working tax credit I could afford to pay the mortgage. Someone mentioned that despite not being married I may have rights to stay in house until youngest child is 16. Does anyone have any experience in this or knows someone who has? can't really afford to get legal advice. Thank you. Just a word of warning re depending on working tax credit to pay mortgage- have you worked out what the changes may mean for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spider1 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Why will he have to pay maintenance? It could be her that needs to pay maintenance, you don't know. It hasn't gone through court. He wants to throw his children out and then not pay maintenance. I dont think so Get down to CSA soon as possible [ He seems like a realy nice person doesnt he ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lafemme51 Posted February 13, 2012 Author Share Posted February 13, 2012 He knows that he will have to pay maintenance and if he didn't he knows I would go to CSA. I get he wants me out of house as I ended relationship so he is bitter towards me but he has a very good job and can afford to get a house on his own so its him uprooting the children that bothers me. He is talking about buying me out so will wait and see if he can actually do that as house prices have dropped. At least then if me and children leave the house we will have some financial security. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Spyda Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 He wants to throw his children out and then not pay maintenance. I dont think so Get down to CSA soon as possible [ He seems like a realy nice person doesnt he ] What she says he wants and what actually happen, might be 2 completely different things. He wouldn't need to pay maintenance if the kids stay with him. We don't know who the kids are going to primarily live with regardless of what happens to the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cgksheff Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 There is bitterness at the moment. There may be entitlement for one or both to be bitter. Try and recognise that there may be many years of contact, over the children, to come and that it will be easier for everyone if things can get sorted with some level of peacefulness. Lawyers rarely care about all parties, but will sow the seeds of what can be financially best for their client. This can cause irreparable damage. You can get a free initial consultation with a lawyer to outline possibilities. You may be entitled to legal aid. You should get legal advice to clarify exactly what is possible, but then try and agree between yourselves on a fair outcome. Be clear in your own mind what you think you can agree on and don't let lawyers drag the thing down. If you are still talking to your ex, try and see things the same way. Remember, he may be scared that you and your lawyers may try and take him to the cleaners. Would that really be fair? Once you have agreed things, you can get lawyers to draw agreements up properly and go to court to get an order issued (at no great cost). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spider1 Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Thanks everyone. You are very unlikeiy to get legal aid If you get tangled up with solicitors you will get no change out of £8000 CSA and your solicitors do not work together its either one or the other Its nearly always impossible to be amicable in your position but try for sake of children. There is nothing to stop you sorting things out with your ex and then going to CSA. to make it legal Been there seen it done it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnailyBoy Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 He knows that he will have to pay maintenance and if he didn't he knows I would go to CSA. I get he wants me out of house as I ended relationship so he is bitter towards me but he has a very good job and can afford to get a house on his own so its him uprooting the children that bothers me. He is talking about buying me out so will wait and see if he can actually do that as house prices have dropped. At least then if me and children leave the house we will have some financial security. If you ended the relationship, why not leave the children with him? As you said he has a good job, so they'll be well provided for. You could get a job and pay 20% of your salary as a contribution and get to see them every other weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pottedplant Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 If you ended the relationship, why not leave the children with him? As you said he has a good job, so they'll be well provided for. You could get a job and pay 20% of your salary as a contribution and get to see them every other weekend. and they can then stay in the family home too -which seems to be the OPs primary concern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Spyda Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 and they can then stay in the family home too -which seems to be the OPs primary concern. I agree. It sounds perfectly sensible. That way the only change will be her leaving and the kids will stay in their home while seeing the Mum every weekend or whatever they decide betweem themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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