skinz Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Stay clear. I agree, there are far to many needy, bunny, fragile, lost, overly sensitive souls out there ready to dump it on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Oh yes... Nothing better than love making, but sex is very possible, but if you take it as it is love making then there's no difference. If I meet someone I have feelings for them, but that doesn't mean I have to have a binding relationship even though I could easily say I love you to them. When you say "esp for a woman", evolved into women's ethos is reproduction and protection, but if you're clear with yourself that this isn't what you want out of this encounter, then... Doesn't mean you can't enjoy the feelings that go with sex, you just got to be in control of your feelings. Oh god I hate the term 'make love', I find it cringeworthy. I agree with you though, of course you don't need to be in love to have sex; you don't need to put any emotional investment into it at all. However, to the original poster, you don't just want sex, you want intimacy too which could turn into attachment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spooky3 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Oh god I hate the term 'make love', I find it cringeworthy. I agree with you though, of course you don't need to be in love to have sex; you don't need to put any emotional investment into it at all. However, to the original poster, you don't just want sex, you want intimacy too which could turn into attachment. I agree, but to make a distinction I succumbed. Once I got told off by a girl who said "that wasn't making love"... we were drunk and had only just met... oops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Oh god I hate the term 'make love', I find it cringeworthy. I agree with you though, of course you don't need to be in love to have sex; you don't need to put any emotional investment into it at all. However, to the original poster, you don't just want sex, you want intimacy too which could turn into attachment. I agree (again:)), love making is a horrible term and makes me cringe. Women of course can have sex without any emotional attachment. My advice to the OP is that there are no rules, you have to do what works for you. In your position, I'd probably just have a series of casual flings, let them overlap and just enjoy yourself. Alternatively, find someone who doesn't tick all your boxes but whose company you enjoy once in a while and have sex with them, that way, you're far less likely to fall for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cutie23 Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 I agree (again:)), love making is a horrible term and makes me cringe. Women of course can have sex without any emotional attachment. My advice to the OP is that there are no rules, you have to do what works for you. In your position, I'd probably just have a series of casual flings, let them overlap and just enjoy yourself. Alternatively, find someone who doesn't tick all your boxes but whose company you enjoy once in a while and have sex with them, that way, you're far less likely to fall for them. My dilemma is I am sacred that if I want things in life i.e. travelling, needing to move for my career it won’t fit with another person hence friends with benefits. But if I am being truly honest with myself I do want the intimacy too. I can’t have both so should I just not bother till I have done those things in life I need to do. Any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spooky3 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 How many relationships have you already had? (Not really after an answer) Is this next one to be forever or can it be a passing part of your life journey, after all you are going travelling to gain experiences from other places... no better way than intimately with someone with local knowledge... It's a funny old world! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My dilemma is I am sacred that if I want things in life i.e. travelling, needing to move for my career it won’t fit with another person hence friends with benefits. But if I am being truly honest with myself I do want the intimacy too. I can’t have both so should I just not bother till I have done those things in life I need to do. Any suggestions? Just be up front about your plans if and when you embark on a sexual relationship with them. It's not always possible to stick to one's life plan, which makes life interesting as you never know what's around the corner. Have you any friends in mind with whom you want to have sex with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spooky3 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Or did you just watch Fresh Meat last night on E4? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cutie23 Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Just be up front about your plans if and when you embark on a sexual relationship with them. It's not always possible to stick to one's life plan, which makes life interesting as you never know what's around the corner. Have you any friends in mind with whom you want to have sex with? There is but its a no goer as he is a christian and 5 years younger than me. Although he says he prefers older woman. I don't think my friends with benefits will still well with his vaules! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I agree (again:)), love making is a horrible term and makes me cringe. Women of course can have sex without any emotional attachment. My advice to the OP is that there are no rules, you have to do what works for you. In your position, I'd probably just have a series of casual flings, let them overlap and just enjoy yourself. Alternatively, find someone who doesn't tick all your boxes but whose company you enjoy once in a while and have sex with them, that way, you're far less likely to fall for them. Good advice. My dilemma is I am sacred that if I want things in life i.e. travelling, needing to move for my career it won’t fit with another person hence friends with benefits. But if I am being truly honest with myself I do want the intimacy too. I can’t have both so should I just not bother till I have done those things in life I need to do. Any suggestions? I'm afraid you just have to go with it. Don't deny yourself sex and intimacy just because you don't know how it'll effect future decisions - we can't plan ahead for everything. Enjoy yourself and see what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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