Cyclone Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Nobody slept with anybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmie92 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Nobody slept with anybody. I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 If your 14 year old daughter was sleeping with a 17 year old how would you feel? Would it be acceptable? Okay, so lets play along with your imaginary scenario. A parent wouldn't like it, they wouldn't think it was acceptable. Would the correct response to be to alienate this hypothetical daughter by reporting her boyfriend to the police and destroying his life? Would that stop your daughter sleeping with other 17 year olds (or the same one) and not telling you about it in the future? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmie92 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Okay, so lets play along with your imaginary scenario. A parent wouldn't like it, they wouldn't think it was acceptable. Would the correct response to be to alienate this hypothetical daughter by reporting her boyfriend to the police and destroying his life? Would that stop your daughter sleeping with other 17 year olds (or the same one) and not telling you about it in the future? I was merely asking the poster how they would feel about it. I never mentioned reporting the boy she had slept with (hypothetically). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petminder Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 If your 14 year old daughter was sleeping with a 17 year old how would you feel? Would it be acceptable? If she had willingly slept with him and chose to speak to me about it, then I would obviously speak to her about the consequences of having sex at such a young age, short of locking her up, stopping her having sex would be impossible if it was something she wanted to do (Which to my knowledge she never did). If she liked the young man and regarded him as a boyfriend then I would invite him and his parents round for a chat. Obviously I would express my disapproval if they were having sex, but I would also make sure she was aware of safe sex. I wouldn’t inform the police unless he had forced himself on her because I believe at 14 years old she is capable of making decision that affects her life. Fortunately she is now 20 years old and in a relationship with a boy who coincidentally is 3 years older. I don’t think it would be fare to ruin the life of the young man when my daughter would be just as much responsible as he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I was merely asking the poster how they would feel about it. I never mentioned reporting the boy she had slept with (hypothetically). True, what do you think should be done then, given that a parent wouldn't approve of their 14 year daughter sleeping with anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmie92 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 If she had willingly slept with him and chose to speak to me about it, then I would obviously speak to her about the consequences of having sex at such a young age, short of locking her up, stopping her having sex would be impossible if it was something she wanted to do (Which to my knowledge she never did). If she liked the young man and regarded him as a boyfriend then I would invite him and his parents round for a chat. Obviously I would express my disapproval if they were having sex, but I would also make sure she was aware of safe sex. I wouldn’t inform the police unless he had forced himself on her because I believe at 14 years old she is capable of making decision that affects her life. Fortunately she is now 20 years old and in a relationship with a boy who coincidentally is 3 years older. I don’t think it would be fare to ruin the life of the young man when my daughter would be just as much responsible as he is. Excellent post. Nice to hear from a parent that can exercise and showing good judgment towards such a difficult situation if it had arose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmie92 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 True, what do you think should be done then, given that a parent wouldn't approve of their 14 year daughter sleeping with anyone. I do not think there is really an appropriate answer. It would be practical impossible to stop a 14 year old from sleeping with an older lad she liked. It would be more beneficial for parents to educate their children (girls and boys) before this kind of situation arises. I personally have been in a similar situation when I was 15, although the age gap was one year less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pottedplant Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 If she had willingly slept with him and chose to speak to me about it, then I would obviously speak to her about the consequences of having sex at such a young age, short of locking her up, stopping her having sex would be impossible if it was something she wanted to do (Which to my knowledge she never did). If she liked the young man and regarded him as a boyfriend then I would invite him and his parents round for a chat. Obviously I would express my disapproval if they were having sex, but I would also make sure she was aware of safe sex. I wouldn’t inform the police unless he had forced himself on her because I believe at 14 years old she is capable of making decision that affects her life. Fortunately she is now 20 years old and in a relationship with a boy who coincidentally is 3 years older. I don’t think it would be fare to ruin the life of the young man when my daughter would be just as much responsible as he is. Excellent post - agree with all that you say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Tough one I doubt the police would do much. would you be complaining if she was 20 and he was 23? But as you rightly know thats not illegal, however a 14 year old its different she is a minor, is the 17 year old a nonser (pedo if you're not from Sheffield). That said its works both ways did she start it which lead to this? Really you need to find out EXACTLY what happened and then bring in the police when you have something substantial Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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