Nataliie Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Haev you considered what the outcome might be for your daughter if you kick up a fuss? At the age of 14, it's highly likely that a fair number of her friends - and it could well be more than half of them - are no longer virgins. If they find out that her parents made an official complaint because of "kissing and cuddling" she may well find herself ostracised for the next four years. This, as well as the fact that by reporting it you could potentially blow it up into a much bigger situation than it actually is, and if you do that, she'll remember it as being this big thing that it actually wasn't. I'd speak to the group leaders, I definitely wouldn't take it to the police, just for your daughters sake. I'm sure at her age, she knew what she was doing. If he was older than 17, I would have said to definitely report it to the police. But there's only a 3 year age gap and she obviously went along with it. I did much worse at 14. Plus, at least she's telling you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pottedplant Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I think you need to have a think about what has upset you most about this incident. Is it your daughter (for undertaking activity you don't approve of) Is it the boy (for somehow "corrupting" your daughter) Is it he group (for not somehow preventing this from happening) Is it you (for allowing her to go on the trip). You know your daughter so you will be a better judge as to whether she has been groomed, coerced, forced or whether she is exploring a teenage relationship. Was she distraught when she told you what happened or die you seem happy? Is the boy renowned for this kind of behaviour with other young girls - or does he genuinely like your daughter? My first stop would not be the police of the leaders but would be to talk more to your daughter and to he boy too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DixyHol Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 am i over reacting, my daughter, who is only just fourteen,(5 days ago) joined the explorers 3 wks ago and has just got back from a 3 day trip to some converted barns in huddersfield. she telled me theres a 17 yr old boy who is now her boyfriend, obviousley ive explained he is to old for her and on further questioning have found out that he has been under the covers with her and been kissing her, also during a game of ''true,dare,kiss, or promise he was trying to get her to do a lap dance, needless to say she is no longer going to the explorers, but should i let the police know, is this a type of grooming, what if hes like this with all the young girls, and what happens when he gets to 18 and is doin it,,, help with opinions please Ring the police. Shes under age and hes old enough to know that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nataliie Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Ring the police. Shes under age and hes old enough to know that. So it doesn't matter about how it'll make their daughter feel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pottedplant Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Ring the police. Shes under age and hes old enough to know that. Are you certain a crime has been committed? They seem to have just shared a kiss. Unless I was I would not be able to call the police regarding this kiss and potentially ruin the life of this young man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nataliie Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Are you certain a crime has been committed? They seem to have just shared a kiss. Unless I was I would not be able to call the police regarding this kiss and potentially ruin the life of this young man. And the girl! If she was 'okay' with it happening, it could be blown into something that she ends up feeling used about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DixyHol Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 So it doesn't matter about how it'll make their daughter feel? No, not really. She is the child and not the parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeadingNorth Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 No, not really. She is the child and not the parent. And if the parent is any good at being a parent, she will care about her daughter's future, will she not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DixyHol Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Are you certain a crime has been committed? They seem to have just shared a kiss. Unless I was I would not be able to call the police regarding this kiss and potentially ruin the life of this young man. No im not, so a friendly word from the police may stop any potential breaking of the law by this young lad with this younger girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nataliie Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 No, not really. She is the child and not the parent. So it doesn't matter if the situation is blown up into something that makes her feel used and upsets her? When at the moment she is okay with it. Come off it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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