HeadingNorth Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Why is the blame on the 'group leader'? Insofar as there is any blame to be attached, there is nobody else it could possibly be attached to. Behaviour for both these children and how they behave when away from home lay at their parents doorstep. That is precisely wrong. Their welfare and behaviour while on a group trip, is the responsibility of the group leader, who is in loco parentis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheffgrow Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I know you can kiss at any age but if you read the op he was asking her to perform a lap dance which in my opinion makes it more than just a kiss scenario, what if the girl agreed to the dance or felt pressurised into doing it, what would he have asked for next? When you send kids to a scheme/group you don't expect supervision to be lax enough to allow this kind of behaviour. To those saying there is nowt wrong with this, this is the type of attitude that leads to teenage pregnancy and young mums etc. if the girl is that daft to do it thats a parenting issue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah-Lacie Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 If a strange man walked into a school playground and your child left with them, you would blame the teachers for allowing this to happen. Maybe some blame lies with the parents for not teaching the child better, but the brunt of the blame would sit with the school, no doubt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple.sarah Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 Tough one I doubt the police would do much. would you be complaining if she was 20 and he was 23? If she was 20 and he was 23 there wouldn't be the issue of her being under the age of consent and him being over it! And she will obviously be more mature at 20 than at 14. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mafya Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 if the girl is that daft to do it thats a parenting issue At 14 you can be pressured into doing something due to peer pressure, nothing to do with parenting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taximark Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 There are arguments on both sides of the story, from a dads point of view I'd want to rip his head off, but then my daughters wouldn't do that or be in a position too because they have been brought up correctly. Certain kids suffer from peer pressure though and just because their mates do it some think they have too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheffgrow Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 am i over reacting, my daughter, who is only just fourteen,(5 days ago) joined the explorers 3 wks ago and has just got back from a 3 day trip to some converted barns in huddersfield. she telled me theres a 17 yr old boy who is now her boyfriend, obviousley ive explained he is to old for her and on further questioning have found out that he has been under the covers with her and been kissing her, also during a game of ''true,dare,kiss, or promise he was trying to get her to do a lap dance, needless to say she is no longer going to the explorers, but should i let the police know, is this a type of grooming, what if hes like this with all the young girls, and what happens when he gets to 18 and is doin it,,, help with opinions please so the op allowed their daughter to join an organisation underage because as has been pointed out you have to be 14 and she joined when she was 13, how do we know she hasnt lied to them about her age? and the boy for that matter? the daughter had been kissing him under the covers which im assuming was consensual, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple.sarah Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I would complain to the organisation and it's leaders about the lax supervision and the sleeping arrangements on the trip. See if the police will just have a word with the boy, he needs to be told clearly that his actions were unacceptable and repeating them could get him in trouble in the future. Like you said, what happens when he's an adult still targeting school girls? Maybe it was a mistake but it needs nipping in the bud so it doesn't happen again. I think it's wrong that people are blaming the girl. There is a reason that the age of consent is 16. At 14 she lacks the maturity to consent and could easily be manipulated by an older, more experienced boy. That's why they should have been supervised so she wouldn't be put in that situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeadingNorth Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I think it's wrong that people are blaming the girl. There is a reason that the age of consent is 16. At 14 she lacks the maturity to consent and could easily be manipulated by an older, more experienced boy. You are, surely, aware that some 14 year olds are considerably more mature than some 16 year olds? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerage Posted February 20, 2012 Share Posted February 20, 2012 I certainly wouldn't call the police, personally I would be grateful your daughter confides in you. I think it would be a bit silly to think that 14 year old girls are not going to get up to stuff with lads!! Plus girls of that age always look for older lads as its a kinda status thing that you have an older boyfriend. I have a 15 year old daughter by the way so do know what it is like to have a teenage girl, all you can do really is try to advise them not to have sex under age and what things to look out for and hope for the best really !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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