Central University Neepsend Tip Site

[deadheadfred]

Dere sur,

 

I hav reconsiddurd my previarse rekwest and desided I doent want to be a stewdant now.

 

I wood lyk to be considerd for the vacant post of Dene of Arse and Scones. I am, if anyfink, ovur-endowd in the booty deparetmant and my holemeel sultaner scones are a dilite!

 

Give me the job – I am suwer I coud kater for yore every nede…..

 

Love,

Mandy.

 

p.s diddent you mene to say hier than averije, but ekwally overvalued , A levvle results?

[shoeshine]

eye gott sew mni Aye levulds mossly eye carnt member wot thay r.

 

Summon m eye gott wiv novas never mined stars.

 

Cud eye av the jobb sted of im pleez.

[deadheadfred]

But you have offered nothing which can compete with booty and scones!

 

I suggest you would be better employed locating your missing moggy, you senile old buffer (of footwear)!

[shoeshine]

But you have offered nothing which can compete with booty and scones!

 

I suggest you would be better employed locating your missing moggy, you senile old buffer (of footwear)!

 

eye m gud mee, eye no me stuff. eye got serstificats too prufe itt

 

an mee an mi Kat r knott yor bisines. ur just gellus

[shoeshine]

eye m gud mee, eye no me stuff. eye got serstificats too prufe itt

 

an mee an mi Kat r knott yor bisines. ur just gellus

 

eive bean tellin fibs. eye doant av ayni serstificats yett.

 

eye will tho, wen me difurd sucksess cums to ann end

 

gu on gimmy that jobb pleez

 

eez ugli eyem not

[shoeshine]

Dear Vice Chancellor

 

Can you please advise the final date for enrollment and also indicate when the new semester starts?

 

One of my neighbours, Mrs. Betty Groin, is thinking of enrolling on the "Cayman Islands Escapology Course -Advanced Level".

 

She and I have a little arrangement, you understand! I help her with unofficial Computer Studies and she helps me with.....Oops I'd better not say, if you know what I mean. Not often, you understand, oh no! Just now and then as the fancy........

 

Sorry I have had to whisper this information because deadheadfred, her next door neighbour has his ear to a glass on their adjoining wall. Betty, as you know is deficient in the reading department and I am having to read it out loudly to her as I type this enquiry for her.

 

Yours faithfully

[Hopman]

With the new batch of students trying to enrol at the Central University, it is not uncommon to see certain students walking round with what look to be lengths of cable. I enquired from one such student just what it was, to be told that it was a phoneless cord which he'd purchased from a man with a carrier bag.

 

Do we need our universities full of such gullible people?

[timo]

With the new batch of students trying to enrol at the Central University, it is not uncommon to see certain students walking round with what look to be lengths of cable. I enquired from one such student just what it was, to be told that it was a phoneless cord which he'd purchased from a man with a carrier bag.

 

Do we need our universities full of such gullible people?

 

Of course we do, dear heart. They are the bread and butter of modern, thrusting, relevant higher education. The 'students' you observed were more likely staff from our 'Communication Studies' Dept. One tries to keep them occupied...

[shoeshine]

Dear Vice Chancellor

 

Do you offer Hire Purchase terms to applicants for Courses at your seat of learning?

 

I am somewhat strapped for cash just now as a direct result of spending so much money listening to your answering machine recently.

 

Yours etc

[Godzilla]

With the new batch of students trying to enrol at the Central University, it is not uncommon to see certain students walking round with what look to be lengths of cable. I enquired from one such student just what it was, to be told that it was a phoneless cord which he'd purchased from a man with a carrier bag.

 

Do we need our universities full of such gullible people?

 

LOL, this is priceless:hihi: