cressida Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 There's a guy I find attractive and I think it's mutual but I would feel uncomfortable having a relationship with him as I would worry that details of our relationship could get back to his female friend - anyone else been in the same quandary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGuy Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 There's a guy I find attractive and I think it's mutual but I would feel uncomfortable having a relationship with him as I would worry that details of our relationship could get back to his female friend - anyone else been in the same quandary? Have a threesome, that will break the ice with the female friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medusa Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I haven't been in the same position with a friend, but I have with his mother hating me and having already decided before we ever met that I wasn't good enough for her son. He proved both of us wrong by turning into such a git that his mother (who was well over pension age at the time) telling me that he was a rather rude word for his treatment of me. In terms of your situation I'm not sure that I'd go through with anything, if only because you take on your partner as a package deal with their family, friends and experiences in life. If you enter the relationship intending to change any part of that it causes tension and pressure where there really should be none, and if you start a relationship with a war already waiting to happen then you'll always feel that you have to be secretive about the relationship, which is really not a productive way forwards. If, on the other hand, it is genuinely mutual and he spontaneously discusses with you the fact that you and his friend don't get on then there's a chance that things could be different, but you'd have to leave yourself in a rather uncomfortable position to get to that point and I'm not sure I'd put myself in that position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 QUOTE=TheGuy;8629357]Have a threesome, that will break the ice with the female friend. :gag::gag: oh thank goodness Medusa has posted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 Quote Medusa:If, on the other hand, it is genuinely mutual and he spontaneously discusses with you the fact that you and his friend don't get on then there's a chance that things could be different, but you'd have to leave yourself in a rather uncomfortable position to get to that point and I'm not sure I'd put myself in that position. I'm not sure how close they are really but I know she is on FB and most likely has him down as a friend. I suppose it's a matter of trust but it's quite common that if people break up then it could turn nasty with all sense of honour and decency brushed aside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badlittlepup Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 If he's vaguely friends with this girl and that is enough to put you off him I wouldn't bother as you obviously don't like him THAT much if that's enough to put you off. Don't know why you're worried about what would happen if you broke up, you don't like each other anyway so why would you care what she thought if you broke up? It's not like it's somebody you like and you wouldn't want them to get a bad opinion of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badlittlepup Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Really, seriously. Don't bother. I'm sitting here thinking, would Juliet, or Guinevere or Cleopatra have looked at Romeo, Lancelot or Mark Anthony and said, 'Oh thou art more heavenly than a thousand stars, more beatiful than a perfect flower and more brave and strong than a thousand wild horse - but I ain't interested cos you're friends with Tracey on facebook and I swear she had my bottle of WKD at the party last week when I wasn't looking'. Probably not the makings of a great romance is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 I know some time ago that he discussed pms with her because a mutual friend told me, I mentioned it to a male friend and he told me to 'run a mile' so I'm inclined to play safe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdnaKrabappe Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Just have your wicked way with him Cressida and then at least when he's telling her, they will have something to talk about. Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it. You aren't ten. She's probably just sizing you up, seeing if you are good enough for her friend. However if he starts to tell her every detail of your relationship, I'd check if he's a straight male. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted February 29, 2012 Author Share Posted February 29, 2012 Just have your wicked way with him Cressida and then at least when he's telling her, they will have something to talk about. Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it. You aren't ten. She's probably just sizing you up, seeing if you are good enough for her friend. However if he starts to tell her every detail of your relationship, I'd check if he's a straight male. I'm not sure if they were ever close friends, he may just have wanted a female perspective or something to talk about I like the idea of having my wicked way, it might just move things on;) thanks Edna:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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