Mister M Posted March 8, 2012 Author Share Posted March 8, 2012 Although the article doesn't spell out the details, I wonder whether what is proposed is that repeated and sustained unwanted behaviour should be made illegal rather than a one off comment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 It was at the dreaded Cutler near John Lewis, we'd been in there about an hour when the majority of my friends went out for a cig, I went to the toilet, on my own, and on they way back i was stopped by this bloke, I wondered what he was going to say so i looked at him and he immediately stuck his head into my cleavage! I took a step back, grabbed his chin, pushed his face away from me and told him where to go, his mates started laughing, he moved to the side and as i went to walk past him he smashed his full pint in the side of my face and punched me twice, luckily there was a table behind me and I caught my balance. One or two of friends saw me almost fall and this guy go for me again, then the bouncers and bar staff intervened and threw him out! They then came back and threw me out too, it was only at this point my other half saw what was going on as I was now outside covered in beer, bleeding with a swollen face. I was sat on the pavement outside, and my friend managed to collar a police officer and give a description of the lad, the bouncers didn't want to know! They arrested him, and it went to court he was fined and charged with aggravated assault but NOT sexual harassment, he got so many hours community service. He was known as a football hooligan and had been charged with other violent offences before. The worst part was that this all happened on my 19th Birthday when I was 5 months pregnant! I'd been out for a meal with my OH and we had only gone to the cutler because all my close friends were there and they wanted to see me and say hi. The Police immediately assumed I'd been drinking and at court I was told i provoked the attack by having my cleavage on show. But I was expecting to be blamed for my attack, doing Womens studies and Law had me prepared! I haven't suffered that much from it, I'm a very confident person and it would take a lot to break me LOL, but saying that I didn't go out much really until the end of my pregnancy, for fear of what might happen to my baby. I had nightmares for a few weeks after, dreaming that he'd kicked me in the stomach and I'd lose my baby & but I imagine if I'd have hit the floor he'd have done that. I apologise for the long winded answer! But you did ask, so I gave! What an awful thing to have happen to you, and whilst you were pregnant too! My bold: Wow. Wear a low cut top and expect to be glassed and punched? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubydazzler Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 They then came back and threw me out too, The Police immediately assumed I'd been drinking and at court I was told i provoked the attack by having my cleavage on show. I apologise for the long winded answer! But you did ask, so I gave! That is absolutely terrifying, I can't believe that the bar staff threw you out as well. Why do door staff do this? It's lucky that you weren't attacked by this person outside as well. I seem to remember that someone was murdered after being thrown out of a club alongside his attackers, who attacked him again. Surely they should have been calling for medical assistance for you. You should have sued them! And the police for assuming! It also sounds like you were suffering from PTSD following the attack. I'm presuming that the assailant's solicitor brought up the cleavage issue, in an effort to excuse his client? Although, it does sound like it was an assault that was covered by existing legislation, but still a terrifying thing to happen to you. Glad it didn't affect your baby, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schong2111 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 That is absolutely terrifying, I can't believe that the bar staff threw you out as well. Why do door staff do this? It's lucky that you weren't attacked by this person outside as well. I seem to remember that someone was murdered after being thrown out of a club alongside his attackers, who attacked him again. Surely they should have been calling for medical assistance for you. You should have sued them! And the police for assuming! It also sounds like you were suffering from PTSD following the attack. I'm presuming that the assailant's solicitor brought up the cleavage issue, in an effort to excuse his client? Although, it does sound like it was an assault that was covered by existing legislation, but still a terrifying thing to happen to you. Glad it didn't affect your baby, either. Thanks, It did affect me at first, though luckily not in the long run. And I most likely would have taken it a lot further had I not been heavily pregnant by the time it went to court etc. The bar staff were lovely though and I cant praise them enough, they handed over all CCTV to the police, which caught some of the incident and the two male bar staff that witnessed it happen came as prosecution witnesses to court. I saw no-one about my court appearance until the morning of the trial and even then it was a quick introduce yourself type thing with the prosecutor. I knew what to expect from studying women and the law at college so I wasn't shocked when the solicitor started bringing up questions about my cleavage, when he asked that, I actually asked if the victims of his football hooligan ways had their clevage on show too Its ridiculous the way women are treated in court, especially regarding sexual crime. Your reputation is dragged through the mud, in order to make the crime see justified and the majority of women are never prepared for this. However, the defendant can have several meetings with their solicitor to discuss the trial. Its about time this stuff was taken seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Thanks, It did affect me at first, though luckily not in the long run. And I most likely would have taken it a lot further had I not been heavily pregnant by the time it went to court etc. The bar staff were lovely though and I cant praise them enough, they handed over all CCTV to the police, which caught some of the incident and the two male bar staff that witnessed it happen came as prosecution witnesses to court. I saw no-one about my court appearance until the morning of the trial and even then it was a quick introduce yourself type thing with the prosecutor. I knew what to expect from studying women and the law at college so I wasn't shocked when the solicitor started bringing up questions about my cleavage, when he asked that, I actually asked if the victims of his football hooligan ways had their clevage on show too Its ridiculous the way women are treated in court, especially regarding sexual crime. Your reputation is dragged through the mud, in order to make the crime see justified and the majority of women are never prepared for this. However, the defendant can have several meetings with their solicitor to discuss the trial. Its about time this stuff was taken seriously. What a ghastly experience, it makes my blood boil. Having also studied the way in which the legal system treats female victims and perpetrators of crime, I totally agree with you. Yet so many people are quick to proclaim that there is no longer a need for feminism. I find it sickening, absolutely sickening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schong2111 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 What an awful thing to have happen to you, and whilst you were pregnant too! My bold: Wow. Wear a low cut top and expect to be glassed and punched? Blame the victim culture, what can I say. women have always been told from a young age "Don't wear short skirts or skimpy clothing" "Don't walk alone at night" etc. etc. only recently have we started to think "why don't we tell men not to rape?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Blame the victim culture, what can I say. women have always been told from a young age "Don't wear short skirts or skimpy clothing" "Don't walk alone at night" etc. etc. only recently have we started to think "why don't we tell men not to rape?" Quite. And still we have certain posters on here advocating that women should not put themselves at risk by wearing anything remotely revealing. it reminds me of that Jackie Fleming cartoon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schong2111 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Quite. And still we have certain posters on here advocating that women should not put themselves at risk by wearing anything remotely revealing. it reminds me of that Jackie Fleming cartoon People need to get it into their heads that most women do not dress for men, they do not do their hair for men or their makeup. Most women dress the way they do because it makes them feel comfortable and confident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 People need to get it into their heads that most women do not dress for men, they do not do their hair for men or their makeup. Most women dress the way they do because it makes them feel comfortable and confident. I agree entirely, yet plenty of people think that a woman who has any flesh on display is 'asking for it', in this day and age I find that incredulous. Hence the whole slutwalk campaign which I fully support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muldoon Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I agree entirely, yet plenty of people think that a woman who has any flesh on display is 'asking for it', in this day and age I find that incredulous. Hence the whole slutwalk campaign which I fully support. Do you wear very revealing low cut tops and micro skirts Suffragette ? :heyhey: I may be gay but I still love a woman that has a fine pair of boobies on show Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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