Anna B Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Change the locks. Would that at least make him stop and think? I'm so sorry you find yourself in this position, it must be hell. There are places that can help you, never mind your son - he isn't going to change until he's ready. I agree that you could ask your doctor for help, he/she will know of what's available. You need to do what it takes to improve your own lives, even if that means cutting him out of yours. You can welcome him back when he's clean and his manners improve, or when he at least is prepared to change his ways. I know it's not much consolation, but you are not alone with this kind of problem. It affects a lot of families. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanG Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Sounds like he needs someone who he has a bit of respect for to have a word in his lughole, any older male family, brothers, cousins etc who have maybe been in a similar situation? He isn't a gangsta, I wish people would stop calling little tails who go around acting 10 men because they sell a bit of ganja/coke gangsta's cause they will love it and play up to it, then run into people they really don't want to and it all ends in tears, and usually blood. Maybe he could try boxing, MMA or something like that, get some discipline and positive role models, most other stuff will probably not be ''cool'' enough for him to comprehend if he's at the ''sell a few ounce of weed listen to baseline now im a badman stage'' either that or wait for someone to kick it out of him. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabcakes Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 thank you all for your very kind words i know that there are other people in this situation i think i'm just worried about being judged by people its amazing how much more you love your dogs at times like this dogs would never turn their backs on you Darth Vader please don't think i was being funny with you i wasn't that wall has just appeared now in front of me & i just don't feel like i can knock it dawn & he doesn't seem to care my hubby said he went to the shops the other day & my son saw him & all he did was throw dirty nasty looks at him with all his druggie mates doing the same it relay unnerved my hubby & scared him & it takes a lot for people to scare him but they did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabcakes Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 Sounds like he needs someone who he has a bit of respect for to have a word in his lughole, any older male family, brothers, cousins etc who have maybe been in a similar situation? He isn't a gangsta, I wish people would stop calling little tails who go around acting 10 men because they sell a bit of ganja/coke gangsta's cause they will love it and play up to it, then run into people they really don't want to and it all ends in tears, and usually blood. Maybe he could try boxing, MMA or something like that, get some discipline and positive role models, most other stuff will probably not be ''cool'' enough for him to comprehend if he's at the ''sell a few ounce of weed listen to baseline now im a badman stage'' either that or wait for someone to kick it out of him. Good luck oh believe me he's no gangster he just thinks he is i have an older son who god knows why is pussy footing round him instead of relay telling what he needs to hear he has already been in trouble owning people money & like pillock we paid it for him with the promise from him that he isn't going to do it anymore......& here we are i know he would do boxing..........if it was free everything has got to be free or given to him on a platter & he wasn't brought up like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janie48 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 As Anna says lots of other families are affected.I was quite shocked to discover this from another source. On the same link on another page there are numbers and info about a drop-in centre for famiies who are concerned about a family member who has those problems or alcohol dependancy too.Talking to other families may be of benifit. I'm not telling you what do, only you can decide ,but now you know you have options. Parentline to contact too. It says the drop-in centre is on Arundel Gate i didn't know about that,you would have to check the phone numbers first in case its no longer operating. http://www.sheffielddaat.org.uk/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=7ykP3ibrtUM%3d&tabid=85&mid=451 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fabcakes Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 will they still see us though he's not a child anymore he's 19 ? & thank you everyone i didn't realize that there was that much help out there me & my hubby have done nothing but cry & stress about it its upsetting to see your son like that :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plain Talker Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Oh, fabcakes, you sound as if you're really going through the mill at the moment, love... Yes contact someone like the folk at Adfam, or one of the other support groups. You would not believe how much better you can feel when you have someone supporting YOU, and "fighting YOUR corner". You can't go through this on your own. You most likely will have to use tough love with him, which won't be easy. hope you can get this sorted out. Massive hugs to you. XXX PT XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Vader Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 fabcakes, I didn't think for one minute you were being funny, apologies if it came across as if I thought that. In any case, if I did, you shouldn't bother what an old bugger like me thinks, you've got enough on your plate. There are lots of people who care. Take care. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitisbad Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I'd say there isn't anything inherently wrong with a teenager smoking weed but it seems like his attitude stinks I know my mum was worried seriously about my brother for similar things. I guess it's a cliche but hopefully he'll grow out of it? Or maybe a short sharp shock to the sytem (a close call with police or similar) is what he needs. Whatever happens don't give up on him, for all his bravado and 'gangster' front, I guarantee one day he will come crying back to you for help when he bites off more than he can chew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hard2miss Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Fabcakes, if it helps there are parents up and down the country going through what you are going through, its a generational thing. Easy money, a break from the realities of life like high unemployment and the fact its more widely accepted, or turned a blind eye to, means its not going to get any better soon. Every generation has got progressively worse than the last, I myself did a lot of things starting with solvent abuse, cannabis and LSD, but I never went near anything real hard like crack coke or smack. Today its everywhere and as a parent myself now I dredd when my kids are exposed to it. I can't offer you a solution, maybe there is none, but I offer you my understanding and sympathy if that helps. I hope something in your son's life sparks a change in him and he turns his back on it all but until then be strong and vigilant, the worst thing you can do in my opinion is show acceptance of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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