lipschitz Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Saw the film 'The Change Up' a few days ago. The scene in the supermarket where the married guy describes married life to the single guy got me thinking. I was laughing at the time of watching it, but then thought about it and it rang so true of most marriages I know (mine included). How many men really have any say about what goes on in their household? I know I don't!! It doesn't matter what the situation is, I am asked my opinion and then it is disregarded and 'the gaffer' does what she wants. If my opinion is ever taken into consideration and something goes wrong, I never hear the end of it! All I hear is 'it's your fault' or ' I knew I shouldn't have listened to you'. It's gotten to the stage now where I just don't make a decision just to maintain a quiet life. I have quite literally come to the conclusion that I am not happy and am going to end my marriage as I feel like I have lost who I am. The relationship is not an equal one at all and it has taken a comedy film to make me realise this. I just wondered does any man out there have a marriage where he is happy or has any worthwhile input into it? I'd love to get feedback on this, as most guys I know seem to be in the same position as me yet do nothing about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fletch66 Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Saw the film 'The Change Up' a few days ago. The scene in the supermarket where the married guy describes married life to the single guy got me thinking. I was laughing at the time of watching it, but then thought about it and it rang so true of most marriages I know (mine included). How many men really have any say about what goes on in their household? I know I don't!! It doesn't matter what the situation is, I am asked my opinion and then it is disregarded and 'the gaffer' does what she wants. If my opinion is ever taken into consideration and something goes wrong, I never hear the end of it! All I hear is 'it's your fault' or ' I knew I shouldn't have listened to you'. It's gotten to the stage now where I just don't make a decision just to maintain a quiet life. I have quite literally come to the conclusion that I am not happy and am going to end my marriage as I feel like I have lost who I am. The relationship is not an equal one at all and it has taken a comedy film to make me realise this. I just wondered does any man out there have a marriage where he is happy or has any worthwhile input into it? I'd love to get feedback on this, as most guys I know seem to be in the same position as me yet do nothing about it. We're just two lost souls Swimming in a fish bowl, Year after year, Running over the same old ground. Pink Floyd - Wish you were here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teenyweeny Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 Everyone gets fed up whos married,but ask yourself one question do you still love the woman you married.My husband puts up with a lot as im not the easiest person to get along with,if things go wrong i do sometimes blame him.Its always easier to blame the person closest to you,we been wed 15 yrs and it has not been easy..Many times we have decided to part,but we always end up back together in the end.We live in a world where if nothing suits just dump it and get a new life,you really need to evaluate your life and decide whats best for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyclone Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 Saw the film 'The Change Up' a few days ago. The scene in the supermarket where the married guy describes married life to the single guy got me thinking. I was laughing at the time of watching it, but then thought about it and it rang so true of most marriages I know (mine included). How many men really have any say about what goes on in their household? I have an equal say, sometimes it goes my way, sometimes not, but it's about 50/50. I know I don't!! It doesn't matter what the situation is, I am asked my opinion and then it is disregarded and 'the gaffer' does what she wants. If my opinion is ever taken into consideration and something goes wrong, I never hear the end of it! All I hear is 'it's your fault' or ' I knew I shouldn't have listened to you'. It's gotten to the stage now where I just don't make a decision just to maintain a quiet life. I have quite literally come to the conclusion that I am not happy and am going to end my marriage as I feel like I have lost who I am. That's sad, but it doesn't apply to every marriage by any means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weazel2006 Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 My and my wife can bicker about how things should go and each takes our turn to try the other way. I lead quite a simple life and doing things her way brings some variety to my life. I sometimes feel i have to fight for simple idea's to be taken on board that i know from experience are the right way, but generally i am taken notice of in the end lol. I reckon the trick to a long relationship that benefits both is figuring out that life isnt always going to be what you want, far to many people abandon ship during the troubled times which is sad, if you stick it out you grow as a person and so does your relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teenyweeny Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 Its all about give and take i suppose,i do like my own way.Hubby does give in a lot for a quiet life.But i know deep down if he had a real problem with it he would say.We must be doing something right i suppose or we would not be together.I love my husband very much and could not be without him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Vader Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 So it's not the lure of someone else then? Are you being totally honest with yourself here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teenyweeny Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 So it's not the lure of someone else then? Are you being totally honest with yourself here? Most relationships end because of a third party,beats me how you can be truly happy with someone else as you take all your problems into a new relationship,the grass always looks greener on the other side.Best to sort your problems out with your partner now it makes for a stronger union. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lipschitz Posted April 9, 2012 Author Share Posted April 9, 2012 It's not the lure of someone else at all. When I end it, I am going to remain single for a long time. I will not fall into the same situation again. Maybe I am just stuck with a total control freak. But whatever, this has tainted my view og relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teenyweeny Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 It's not the lure of someone else at all. When I end it, I am going to remain single for a long time. I will not fall into the same situation again. Maybe I am just stuck with a total control freak. But whatever, this has tainted my view og relationships. Have you thought how your wife might feel on the subject,may be best time for some changes.Have you tried talking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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