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I'm a racist, say it loud, say it proud!


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I’ve found myself harbouring the most grievous malcontent against a group of people for no other reason than their geographical location. I’ve tried to overcome this terrible shortcoming but have failed and after this morning believe I should celebrate my 'racist' generalisation.

 

So who you may ask is the group who are subject of my malcontent?

 

Well it’s Crosspoolians...a miserable more mean spirited bunch of people you’ll never encounter anywhere, mainly retired folk from the lower orders who managed to assail the greasy pole to achieve some modicum of success before they were shuffled off with their carriage clock from Argos.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends are octogenarians, but there are special features to the Crosspoolian that make him worthy of special indignation. If poppins lived in Sheffield, she’d hold court at the post office in the Spar, moaning about immigrants, queers, winter fuel allowance and the spiralling costs of Baxters **** O’Leekie soup.

 

Whilst strictly speaking Crosspoolians aren’t a ‘race’, this group of people are drawn to the area for it’s unique qualities and common hatred for their fellow man..especially their neighbour if his hedge isn’t manicured like Barbara Cartland’s poodle.

 

Only this morning I had to cross the road using a Zebra Crossing, walking towards it I anticipated the numbers of cars that would weave their way past me before one would stop as they’re obliged so to do. Alas, a shiny 5 year old car of a neutral/pastel colour, thimble sized cubic capacity and Japanese in origin stopped. Surprised I paused to give the driver a cheery wave, but was met by a bobbing grey head, (two) pointed wizened fingers and a vigorous upward gesture which suggested I should make haste along my way.

 

The pharmacy in Crosspool does a roaring trade satisfying the cosmetics needs of mutton seeking to present itself as lamb, when many of those customers would be better served by the butcher’s next door.

 

The flipside of the Crosspool coin are the beautiful people of Handsworth, young and old, black or white, man and woman alike are all lovely people. The women particularly would come top of any ‘who are the best looking women in the world’ poll, not only are they gorgeous (all of them) but they also are blessed with a wicked sense of dry humour..and most have massive knockers.

 

So, do you believe there are groups of people who unconnected genetically share attributes purely by virtue of where they live? Answers on a post card please (or Izal if you live on Sandygate Road)

 

Incidentally, there’s nowt worse than an S10 darkie ;)

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I’ve found myself harbouring the most grievous malcontent against a group of people for no other reason than their geographical location. I’ve tried to overcome this terrible shortcoming but have failed and after this morning believe I should celebrate my 'racist' generalisation.

 

So who you may ask is the group who are subject of my malcontent?

 

Well it’s Crosspoolians...a miserable more mean spirited bunch of people you’ll never encounter anywhere, mainly retired folk from the lower orders who managed to assail the greasy pole to achieve some modicum of success before they were shuffled off with their carriage clock from Argos.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, some of my best friends are octogenarians, but there are special features to the Crosspoolian that make him worthy of special indignation. If poppins lived in Sheffield, she’d hold court at the post office in the Spar, moaning about immigrants, queers, winter fuel allowance and the spiralling costs of Baxters **** O’Leekie soup.

 

Whilst strictly speaking Crosspoolians aren’t a ‘race’, this group of people are drawn to the area for it’s unique qualities and common hatred for their fellow man..especially their neighbour if his hedge isn’t manicured like Barbara Cartland’s poodle.

 

Only this morning I had to cross the road using a Zebra Crossing, walking towards it I anticipated the numbers of cars that would weave their way past me before one would stop as they’re obliged so to do. Alas, a shiny 5 year old car of a neutral/pastel colour, thimble sized cubic capacity and Japanese in origin stopped. Surprised I paused to give the driver a cheery wave, but was met by a bobbing grey head, (two) pointed wizened fingers and a vigorous upward gesture which suggested I should make haste along my way.

 

The pharmacy in Crosspool does a roaring trade satisfying the cosmetics needs of mutton seeking to present itself as lamb, when many of those customers would be better served by the butcher’s next door.

 

The flipside of the Crosspool coin are the beautiful people of Handsworth, young and old, black or white, man and woman alike are all lovely people. The women particularly would come top of any ‘who are the best looking women in the world’ poll, not only are they gorgeous (all of them) but they also are blessed with a wicked sense of dry humour..and most have massive knockers.

 

So, do you believe there are groups of people who unconnected genetically share attributes purely by virtue of where they live? Answers on a post card please (or Izal if you live on Sandygate Road)

 

Incidentally, there’s nowt worse than an S10 darkie ;)

 

You always give the impression you are racially prejudiced againt white South Africans and white Zimbabweans.

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You always give the impression you are racially prejudiced againt white South Africans and white Zimbabweans.

 

..some of my best friends are white South Africans and white Zimbabweans, it don't make me a racist just because I don't agree with what you say ;)

 

By the way, you do realise the thread is intended to be very tongue in cheek don't you? Oops sorry forgot Zimbabweans (black & white) have zippo in the sense of humour department :hihi:

 

You'd never make it as a Handsworth girl :love:

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Most people get bored with threads about racism on here. Some however who pretend to hate racism feel a need to start them. Funny old world!:cool:

 

I'm so glad this is kicking off as I thought it would..it gives me a reason to l i v e.

 

Don't live in Crosspool do you Ali Butt? You certainly sound like an arse.

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