PaliRichard Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I've got a friend of about 7 years. We are total opposites, I've got nothing to hide, while she's a lot quieter and keeps things to herself, if I'm in a room everyone knows, as I never stop nattering...lol Lately I've noticed things, such as if I buy anything and I'm showing her there's a discontented look on her face, for instance I bought a Android phone, nice phone, she said " it's a bit big isn't it" about a month down the line she's bought an even bigger one with the same coloured case. This isn't the first time, she's done it with other things. If copying was the only thing I wouldn't mind, but it's the bit of contempt that's in her voice when I show her anything, I don't brag, I'm not that kind of person. She's 56 yrs old, we're both too old for this kind of thing, but it's getting a bit annoying now. I wouldn't mind, but she spends as if money's going out of fashion and she's got every gadget going, which is fine if that's what you want... But she shouldn't be like this with me, I'm supposed to be a friend.. What would you do? I think if it was me I'd do one of two things. If I could, I'd just accept that that is just her way. If the rest of the friendship is fine then I would ask myself 'How much does this really matter?' and just be aware that when the annoyance rises in me that I need to let it pass, maybe think to myself 'I am a silly sausage letting this get to me'. If that was too difficult I'd be honest and bring it up. Tell her how annoying it is. This could mean you lose her as a friend or she could realise she's upsetting you and stop. I think the danger is if you leave it resentment could build up in you and you become bitter in her company, in which case she may think you're the one being funny and stop speaking to you anyway. I hope it works out, let us know what you decide to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mecky Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I've got a friend of about 7 years. We are total opposites, I've got nothing to hide, while she's a lot quieter and keeps things to herself, if I'm in a room everyone knows, as I never stop nattering...lol Lately I've noticed things, such as if I buy anything and I'm showing her there's a discontented look on her face, for instance I bought a Android phone, nice phone, she said " it's a bit big isn't it" about a month down the line she's bought an even bigger one with the same coloured case. This isn't the first time, she's done it with other things. If copying was the only thing I wouldn't mind, but it's the bit of contempt that's in her voice when I show her anything, I don't brag, I'm not that kind of person. She's 56 yrs old, we're both too old for this kind of thing, but it's getting a bit annoying now. I wouldn't mind, but she spends as if money's going out of fashion and she's got every gadget going, which is fine if that's what you want... But she shouldn't be like this with me, I'm supposed to be a friend.. What would you do? Depends what you call a fiend. I think you mean an associate. People are very lucky if they find one friend throughout their entire life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerrangaroo Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Depends what you call a fiend. I think you mean an associate. People are very lucky if they find one friend throughout their entire life. I've been very lucky then I have more than one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mecky Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I've been very lucky then I have more than one. Good for you. We'll see who hangs around when the rubbish hits your fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerrangaroo Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Good for you. We'll see who hangs around when the rubbish hits your fan. Friendship isn't or shouldn't be one way though should it. I have no concerns with the friends I have, it's two way traffic and I've already been there for them already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Overall Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 I think if it was me I'd do one of two things. If I could, I'd just accept that that is just her way. If the rest of the friendship is fine then I would ask myself 'How much does this really matter?' and just be aware that when the annoyance rises in me that I need to let it pass, maybe think to myself 'I am a silly sausage letting this get to me'. If that was too difficult I'd be honest and bring it up. Tell her how annoying it is. This could mean you lose her as a friend or she could realise she's upsetting you and stop. I think the danger is if you leave it resentment could build up in you and you become bitter in her company, in which case she may think you're the one being funny and stop speaking to you anyway. I hope it works out, let us know what you decide to do. Your last paragraph, yes it is annoying, as I said I've known her a good 7 years, and I do think it's all a bit petty on my part too for letting it bother me.. I never noticed this in her in the early years of our friendship, don't know why it's rearing it's head now, maybe I'll ignore it as I do think it is her problem and not mine, I've got other friends and were all natural with one another. I did think about joking with her about it, but I'm not too good with that kind of thing, I tend to blurt things out.. Yes I think I'll try and ignore it, it is all petty really isn't it..life's too short and so on.... Thanks for the replies all.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hots on Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Depends what you call a fiend. I think you mean an associate. People are very lucky if they find one friend throughout their entire life. A fiend is an evil spirit or demon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strix Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I bet it's got nothing to do with you in reality - shopping, for most women, is 'retail therapy' You flashing new toys gives her an empty feeling (perhaps as she has nobody to buy her such gifts), so she has to plug that empty feeling with a similar item that created the empty feeling in the first place women are complicated creatures - very hard work if you ask me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fibutton Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I put up with a lot from a so called friend, she lied, cheated on her husband with 3 different men, and expected me to keep it quiet and cover for her.........enough was enough and I chose to end the friendship. Yet she ended up making me out to be the bad guy. I still haven't told her husband what she did, it's not my information to share......but I am a big believer in Karma, so I will sit back and wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julado Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I put up with a lot from a so called friend, she lied, cheated on her husband with 3 different men, and expected me to keep it quiet and cover for her.........enough was enough and I chose to end the friendship. Yet she ended up making me out to be the bad guy. I still haven't told her husband what she did, it's not my information to share......but I am a big believer in Karma, so I will sit back and wait. Doesn't sound like friendship to me. True friends forgive....and yes time and time again.....true friends stuff up....we all stuff up. In the OP's case....then maybe she just thinks you are so awesome that she wants to be like you....and by surrounding herself in things LIKE yours...it makes her feel like you....which is a bit sad....but maybe she is saying I trust you enough to go and buy these things you unwittingly recommend. Let it go...life is too short. Start to admire stuff of hers and perhaps buy something similar to something she has....and then see if she posts a thread on here too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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