dez2k8 Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Il make this short as possible i dont want to bore people, but me and my gf have been together for over 3 years now and she is one year out of uni with her degree in advertising, she has had a part time job for 6 years in retail and now has got herself a 25 to 40 hours a week minimum wage contract. The problem started about 8 months ago when she said she would start to look for a new job still to this date she has yet to look for anything other than me finding a few for her here and there which haven’t interested her, the next problem arrises when I confront her about this as we have agreed to save for a deposit and move out within the next 2 years the only thing I am the only one saving due to her lowly wage and needing a new car which I understand she will contribute in oct when she has to buy her new car, but when I try to talk about getting a new job it causes a big argument and I get the same answers every time I ask which is “ I don’t know why I cant look for new jobs” she also doesn’t know what sort of job she wants and then idnors me when i try to continue the subject. Does she need counselling or does she need me to get off her case but I tried this for a 2month period and she did nothing, she also moans about the rubbish hours but does nothing about it. Any advice would be welcome as i dont know which way to turn or weather to just forget about her getting a new job and she will do it in her own way and time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeadingNorth Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Maybe she won't do it in her own way and time. Maybe she's happy just tootling along without any ambition or drive. In which case, you'd have to decide whether you are willing to live with someone of that nature, because (if the "maybe" is true, which is not proven) she isn't going to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJC1 Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Ditch her. Use that money, you have saved, on something you want to buy. Or keep saving untill you find someone who does the things you want to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Closet Guy. Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Ditch her. Use that money, you have saved, on something you want to buy. Or keep saving untill you find someone who does the things you want to do. You forgot to tell him to spit in her face and call her a whore as he dumps her. Jeeez, talk about sensitive:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curriechick Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 I note you have mentioned counselling in your post. Have you discussed this with your girlfriend? She is the one you should ask not people on here. The apathy and lethargy you describe can be symptoms of depression, if this is so she will need your support. You should try and encourage her to visit her GP and talk to him/her and see where it goes from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dez2k8 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 i dont think dumping my gf is an option at the minute, this is the only thing i see wrong with us at the moment, is it me that needs to change ive never asked myself that question untill now am i too pushy and wanting more tbh i never got a gd paid job untill i was 23 shes only just 22. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dez2k8 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 curriechick her brother is exactly the same but he just aint got a job and has no intention of getting one happy on the dole and the x box, depression runs in the family cud this be early signs?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Closet Guy. Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 curriechick her brother is exactly the same but he just aint got a job and has no intention of getting one happy on the dole and the x box, depression runs in the family cud this be early signs?? It sounds like it could be you know. Maybe ask her if she has anything on her mind. If she says no then tell her if it changes she can talk to you any time. Even though you think she may know this, its nice for her to be told she has an ear to bend should the need arise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamatron Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Looking for a job is one of the most depressing things I have ever had to do. This is particularly true at the moment. You finding jobs for her may just be piling on the pressure which would just make it worse. I would leave it to her unless you feel she is not pulling her weight-which would be a different issue anyway. Maybe you just don't share the same priorities! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJC1 Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 You forgot to tell him to spit in her face and call her a whore as he dumps her. Jeeez, talk about sensitive:rolleyes: No, that would be abusive. But be honest with yourself. There visions and values are obviously at odds with each other, the best thing he can do for himself is end it quickly. I bet any money you will be split up within 6 months anyway. End it now save yourself the hassle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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