FCH Revisited ...anyone remember me?

[SputnikBoy]

I was in a similar institution in another city for the entire war (1940-1945) and it's amazing how many of the same sadists there were in our home as well. When I was there I wondered what motivates a 20 stone nun to punch a 6 year old to the floor or beat kids with a strap day after day and then tell us WE were going to hell.I came to realize that if I didn't find some way to forgive them and put it behind me, they were still abusing me or as somebody said " they are living in your head rent free".God bless you all.

 

Words of wisdom, Redneck ...thanks. The act of forgiveness is something that can set one free indeed!

 

Oh, and everyone ...please keep the posts coming.

 

Glad to see YOU back, Glen. Where've you been?

[flyer]

Words of wisdom, Redneck ...thanks. The act of forgiveness is something that can set one free indeed!

 

Oh, and everyone ...please keep the posts coming.

 

Glad to see YOU back, Glen. Where've you been?

 

Father Sylvester recent sent to & died shortly after in prison London Ont ,his crime was sexual abuse of young children in his charge over a long time.Do i forgive him a big No i'm just not that noble, in fact i would cheerfully hang him and all his fellow priests who hid his crime's and or did the same themselves.

So do i forgive some of the long dead housemothers of F,C.H ,NO,i know a lot of kids driffed through F.C.H without to many long term effects ,but i also know lots with damage that lasts a lifetime :mad:

[Redneck]

Hi Flyer.I am not suggesting that society should not punish these offenders- I really don't think there is any punishment too severe for abusing a child. What I meant was that I had to get these people out of my life because, although the pain from the physical beatings was over in a few days, the outrage that this could happen and the desire for revenge was threatening to scar me for life.

Incidentally,Flyer, I snitched a swede from the school garden and was caught wth it in my raincoat pocket ( I woder how). It was put at my place at the table and I didn't get anything else to eat until it was gone.It took me 3 days to get rid of it - not as lucky as you with your turnip.

[flyer]

Redneck you're right of course & i had forgot about it for so many yrs ,I guess i'm just getting old & cranky or older & much more cranky.

(You can tell a redneck By Ha Ha cable guy)

[SputnikBoy]

Hi Flyer.I am not suggesting that society should not punish these offenders- I really don't think there is any punishment too severe for abusing a child.

 

I personally was abused (one of modern society's favorite words) mentally and physically and emotionally as a child but I certainly WAS NOT scarred for life. Nor do I seek any form of vindictive retribution for the perpetrators of the abuse. I would strongly object if an 'over-the-top' punishment was administered to any of those who hurt me. I harbor no bitterness and I forgive them all. They were different times. VERY different. This was way before psychology told us that we were scarred for life by abuse. And, for the record ...NO ONE is scarred for life unless they CHOOSE to be scarred for life. You apparently agree with this.

 

My intent for starting this thread was not necessarily to open up 'old wounds' but to hear from those who might have shared FCC with me (or others who were also 'residents' of the homes) in order to share some of our childhood memories and life beyond the homes.

 

By the way, FCC was not ALL bad ... ... ... ...

[glen]

Hi There .Here i am Rod not been far.I think the best thing to do is talk about all the things that happened then.I watched a movie called After The Promise.I was heart broken,that was my life in that HOLE.I havent been able to watch it since.It will always be in our heads but we have to let go

[SputnikBoy]

Hi There .Here i am Rod not been far.I think the best thing to do is talk about all the things that happened then.I watched a movie called After The Promise.I was heart broken,that was my life in that HOLE.I havent been able to watch it since.It will always be in our heads but we have to let go

 

As wards of the state FCH was the only alternative available for us. It might well have been a 'hole' for some of the kids but our own parents were evidently not up to the task of raising us satisfactorily either. We must also remember that children then were not the mollycoddled-by-the-state-spoiled-wusses of today and so the house-parents also had a very different mentality towards children in general. While that doesn't lessen the harsh treatment that some of them dished out to their charges, this WAS in keeping with the culture of the day. I would guess that most - if not all - of the house-parents never even considered that they were being cruel. This was simply the way they were.

[flyer]

As wards of the state FCH was the only alternative available for us. It might well have been a 'hole' for some of the kids but our own parents were evidently not up to the task of raising us satisfactorily either. We must also remember that children then were not the mollycoddled-by-the-state-spoiled-wusses of today and so the house-parents also had a very different mentality towards children in general. While that doesn't lessen the harsh treatment that some of them dished out to their charges, this WAS in keeping with the culture of the day. I would guess that most - if not all - of the house-parents never even considered that they were being cruel. This was simply the way they were.

Although i'm pleased to see you'er so well adjusted i can't say i agree with you total ,i know too many people with lifetime affects from F.C.H,both mental & physical ,i think quite a number of house mothers went way beyond the harshness of the day, in fact some of them could be label downright sadistic,i must also say not all kids parents were not up to the task (i don't include mine)after the blitz we had 4 who's parent's had just been killed move into #2,the reason i remember so clear is one of the lads wet the bed 1st night, the cure was a good pasting with the paddle ,this lad was beaten every day for 3-4 yrs ,i don't know if the constant pasting worked,i left V,J night 1946 but i'm sure she would keep trying to the bitter end.

[SputnikBoy]

Although i'm pleased to see you'er so well adjusted i can't say i agree with you total ,i know too many people with lifetime affects from F.C.H,both mental & physical ,i think quite a number of house mothers went way beyond the harshness of the day, in fact some of them could be label downright sadistic,i must also say not all kids parents were not up to the task (i don't include mine)after the blitz we had 4 who's parent's had just been killed move into #2,the reason i remember so clear is one of the lads wet the bed 1st night, the cure was a good pasting with the paddle ,this lad was beaten every day for 3-4 yrs ,i don't know if the constant pasting worked,i left V,J night 1946 but i'm sure she would keep trying to the bitter end.

 

I've no doubt that a few of the house-parents at F.C.H. were extreme in the area of discipline. And, as you point out above, the excessive measures used by some to enforce their power had nothing to do with discipline anyway. I guess I was more fortunate than some in that Miss Bower of Cottage #9, while rather strict, did not have those sadistic tendencies to which you refer. Then again, I must have been SOMEWHAT fearful of her because I recall one incident that left a lasting impression on me in more ways than one.

 

We kids would return from school and take off our boots in the porch before entering the cottage. This particular day the other kids had pulled off their boots and had gone inside. Meanwhile I was struggling to take one boot off because I had a knot in the lace. Try as I might I couldn't untie the knot. The other kids were inside seated at the table ready for the evening meal. Miss Bower called for me to hurry. The more I fumbled with the knot the tighter it became. Knots have a habit of doing this. Miss Bower kept calling and was by now losing patience. I called back, “Coming …coming …”

 

Why I didn’t simply call out and tell Miss Bower that I had a knot in my lace and couldn’t take off the boot I don’t know. It was as if I’d done something wrong and would be punished for it. Try as I might the knot had become a permanent feature of the lace. I became desperate. I sneaked into the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the bench with the intention of cutting the lace. I would worry about the severed lace the next day. I might even be able to tie the remnant to the main lace since there was still enough length available to do so. No one need know. The here and the now had priority. I sneaked back to the porch with the knife.

 

I placed the tip of the sharp knife under the lace and pulled with all my might. The blade severed the lace but the elation I felt at having my boot released from my foot was only fleeting. The blade also penetrated deep into my finger. Oh my God! I didn’t know that a little kid could contain so much blood until it came spurting out. I instinctively grabbed for a shirt or whatever the piece of clothing was that I grabbed. Whatever it was I wrapped it around my finger and held it there as tightly as I could. Such pain. Such fear. Not only had I destroyed F.C.H. property (a shoe lace and whatever item of clothing I had around my finger) but I was now bleeding to death and dare not tell anyone. I began to feel light-headed. Meanwhile, Miss Bower had lost patience and had come to the porch door to find out what was going on. She stood there aghast. I was a bloody mess. I feebly called out from the corner in which I crouched, “I’m feeling dizzy …”

 

Just before Miss Bower pulled me to my feet and rammed my head between my legs I heard her say, “You’re about to pass out.” Whether or not I did pass out I honestly don’t recall. I have a vague recollection of being rushed to the sick bay for treatment. To this day I have a tell-tale scar on my finger of that incident that occurred so long ago. I look at it occasionally …almost with fondness. Why, I don’t know. Yes, I DID have a fear of Miss Bower’s ‘discipline’ but I don’t believe that she had the sadistic streak of some other house-parents that I hear about. HOWEVER ...the relief-parent, Miss Herring …well, SHE is another story …!

[SputnikBoy]

Oh my ...it's been so long since I posted the response above. So, I decided to bump up the thread just to see if anyone new to the forum has anything they might wish to contribute to this particular topic.

 

Are there any former residents of FCH who can share with us their good or bad or reminiscent testimonies of their tenure at the homes ...?