Both parents are a joke.

[TJC1]

Just accept that that is what they are and move on. I realised that my mum was a nasty, spiteful person a long time ago and had mistreated us when we were young, but because I thought that was just the 'way it was' I spent my childhood and teens trying to please her with everything I did not being good enough for her.

Now she is 86, deaf, almost blind and still as nasty - other people don't see it because she puts a great act on in public - and I can barely stand to be in the same room as her for more than an hour because I know the snidey remarks will soon be coming.

People think I'm terrible for the way I ignore her. When I first met my partner he was disgusted by the way I was towards my mother, then one day he said ' I understand completely now' because she can't keep her sweet old lady act up for long.

The day I realised that I didn't love my mother I actually cried because I so wanted to be part of a 'normal' family and like you I felt cheated out of a loving family.

Move on - see them if you need to, but refuse to be blackmailed for money or attention by them. Once you've made that decision it's much easier to let go of the resentment.

 

That sounds horrid. My parents are not bad people but they have problems. What they don't understand is kids need support too sometimes! I've got emotions too!

[Nataliie]

What can you do? cut them out entirely? they always seem to creep back in, maybe I should move to a desert island with no phone or something!

 

If you really can't bare it, then it might be best distancing yourself for your own good. Just talk occasionally so they don't try extra hard to keep in touch and just tell them you're busy.

 

I have quite a few friends, who even from a very young age (in school) decided it was best not to keep in touch with their family for various reasons.

 

We just took the place of their family for them, and was there for support etc.

 

If you have a good support network, then you can do it without much fuss.

 

It is sad that you have to make that decision though.

[Cyclone]

What can you do? cut them out entirely? they always seem to creep back in, maybe I should move to a desert island with no phone or something!

 

Refuse to give them money. There's not much you can do about the one who has a problem with stealing. You could try to convince them to seek help for the drinking.

[TJC1]

If you really can't bare it, then it might be best distancing yourself for your own good. Just talk occasionally so they don't try extra hard to keep in touch and just tell them you're busy.

 

I have quite a few friends, who even from a very young age (in school) decided it was best not to keep in touch with their family for various reasons.

 

We just took the place of their family for them, and was there for support etc.

 

If you have a good support network, then you can do it without much fuss.

 

It is sad that you have to make that decision though.

 

It's very sad. No, I don't think I really have a support network as I don't talk about my feelings much, what's one of those? and how do you get one?

[Nataliie]

It's very sad. No, I don't think I really have a support network as I don't talk about my feelings much, what's one of those? and how do you get one?

 

By making friends that you can talk about things with. Is it that you don't want to talk about your feelings or that you don't trust talking about them?

[TJC1]

By making friends that you can talk about things with. Is it that you don't want to talk about your feelings or that you don't trust talking about them?

 

I don't feel sad and lonely I just don't have friends like this or at least they don't confide in me. I'm self-confident, maybe people don't think I need to talk about feelings?

[Nataliie]

I don't feel sad and lonely I just don't have friends like this or at least they don't confide in me. I'm self-confident, maybe people don't think I need to talk about feelings?

 

I didn't think you were sad and lonely, sorry if it came across that way. I just know some people have friends that they don't really have 'serious' conversations with as they joke about rather than talk if you know what I mean. Like, I have friends I joke with, and friends I talk to.

 

It's probably that then, personally that'd make me ask more questions. But I'm awkward

[GreenyGreen]

As title says, I'm embarassed by both of them. One drinks too much, has a problem with theft / criminality and needs constant emotional support and the other one borrows money off me, makes excuses, does'nt pay it back and ignores my calls / texts.

 

Both are unreliable.

 

I honestly wish I had different parents instead of these weak willed, dishonest individuals. Nothing ever changes. They are really good examples of how not to live your life.

 

I don't need this drama and feel kind of cheated out of good parents!.

 

It sounds as if your parents are in their late teens. Hope everything gets sorted out for you asap.

[Darth Vader]

I don't feel sad and lonely I just don't have friends like this or at least they don't confide in me. I'm self-confident, maybe people don't think I need to talk about feelings?

 

You can't expect your friends to second-guess you. Open up to them and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

 

I am blessed to have amazing parents. I wish I had their patience and their faith in people and love for them. I lose my patience with others and find it difficult to accept their faults. I am constantly asking my parents, why do you put up with X doing this, and Y doing this? They smile, and then tell me they are fully aware of these faults but list all the other great qualities that X and Y have that they love about them, and they love their friends in spite of their faults. I know they're right, and now I've put it into words for someone else, I'll try harder myself to accept people and love them in spite of their faults.