Parents- Whats the best policy when kids bicker & taunt each other?

[danot]

You can instill what you feel is good in your own (hard work)...As a parent you shouldn't expect any more of yourself than to do exactly that. You can't protect your child by being the parent of other children. What I've learned is is that by being patient is the result of time offered, genuine time offered and empathising through your own childhood experiences. Set rules and boundaries, but not to the point of total constraint. What you do now will reflect in the future relationship you have with your daughter. Lack of patience and flying off the handle get's you zilch, don't forget your child is watching that 'angst' too. If you can't self control then you have no business expecting it from your child. You're not unique..all parents go through this stuff.

 

Btw..my 18yr old goes on her first trip abroad without a guardian in 4 weeks with friends...I'm crapping myself. My rationality says I shouldn't as she's got it all upstairs and more mature than I ever was at her age...but she's still that 3yr old that sat on my knee for cuddles. I probably wont sleep for 10 days..

 

It's refreshing to hear what I know to be good sensible advice. Then again, it's so easy to disengage with common sense when the littlest of things have you bouncing off the walls.

 

Kids.. who'd have em?

[danot]

Time outs work well enough depending on whose giving the time outs. When my wife and I give them they dont work so well and generally it has to be repeated two or three times before they slink off to the bedtoom

 

On the other hand when their father, my eldest son yells "Time out" they head for the bedtoom like Olympic sprinters

Yes, unfortunately, someone has to take the role of the "Big bad wolf", which in our case is me. Then again, all the kids know how far they can go with their mother. It's every man for themselves when she's on one.

[Sierra]

Lately, my 8 year old daughter along with several other kids on the street have started name-calling, bickering, teasing, and tormenting one another etc on almost a daily basis whenever they're together after school or on weekends, which always ends in tears.

 

It's got to the stage where personally, as a parent, I've had enough of it and dread 3:15 coming around. So, what's the best policy when dealing with a situation like this one? Obviously, you can chastise your own child if they continue to misbehave, but what do you do when it's someone else's child and they're telling you- "I don't have to listen to you, you can't tell me what to do, you're not my parent", and the child's parent/s don't seem to be dealing with the situation at all, or if they are, it doesn't seem to be changing anything?. What ever happened to kids having and showing respect to their elders? What ever happens to parents instilling this in their kids?

 

As much as our kid's argue and torment each other, and as much as it might upset and annoy me as a parent whenever I see my own child becoming the victim of it, the kids are normally best mates again within a couple of ours, so is it even worth risking falling out with one of your neighbours because you've told off their child for being cruel to your child?.

 

I find it hard to recognize whether I'm just being over sensitive to it all. What is the beat policy here?

 

I'm assuming this is a group thing? Is your girl part of the group, or are they ganging up on her? It could be that she wants friends badly enough to put up with this kind of treatment. Sure, kids fight sometimes, but not all the time. Is it one child drawing the others into this nonsense? Some people just thrive on drama. I have one sister like this and she just wasn't happy unless the fur was flying. Probably why she's on her third husband.

 

Kids telling you off? That's a red flag, to me. Parents blowing off your concerns? Another red flag.

 

You are not being oversensitive, and you are right to keep an eye on things to make sure the situation doesn't escalate. Yes, kids are mean to each other and a certain amount of that is normal, but they're still kids who need adult guidance. Nobody wants things to turn all Lord of the Flies.

[danot]

I'm assuming this is a group thing? Is your girl part of the group, or are they ganging up on her? It could be that she wants friends badly enough to put up with this kind of treatment. Sure, kids fight sometimes, but not all the time. Is it one child drawing the others into this nonsense? Some people just thrive on drama. I have one sister like this and she just wasn't happy unless the fur was flying. Probably why she's on her third husband.

 

Kids telling you off? That's a red flag, to me. Parents blowing off your concerns? Another red flag.

 

You are not being oversensitive, and you are right to keep an eye on things to make sure the situation doesn't escalate. Yes, kids are mean to each other and a certain amount of that is normal, but they're still kids who need adult guidance. Nobody wants things to turn all Lord of the Flies.

 

Well, there is one particular child that seems to be ruled by the moon, who in our opinion(me and the missus that is)is the most cheeky, defiant, devious and foul mouthed out of the lot of them. I know you shouldn't think ill of a child, but it's so hard to find a redeeming quality to warm to.

 

PS. And yes, it is a group thing.

[Sierra]

Well, there is one particular child that seems to be ruled by the moon, who in our opinion(me and the missus that is)is the most cheeky, defiant, devious and foul mouthed out of the lot of them. I know you shouldn't think ill of a child, but it's so hard to find a redeeming quality to warm to.

 

PS. And yes, it is a group thing.

 

Go ahead and think ill of a child. If they deserve it. I don't doubt that other little girl is as you say she is. She's probably like my sister was, she needs a firm hand and isn't getting it. She may rule the roost now through sheer force of will, but as she gets older, her friends with any sense or brains will stop associating with her because she's trouble. That will leave her with other troublemakers and the family she hasn't run off.

 

You and your missus sound like good parents. If I may suggest, start making a plan now to deal with the situation if things blow up later. Hopefully, they won't and the girls will soon tire of this activity and be on to something else. The non response of the other parent to their child talking back to you should give some idea of how much help you can expect from them if things turn ugly.

 

Again, you are smart to keep an eye on the situation.