Alcoblog Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 You are without doubt completely nuts! Maybe if you adapted an old sewing machine you could do the perforations a lot quicker. A man of your genius and talents could manage that I'm sure! I might just try sticking my foot into the bag with the loaf still inside. Exfoliation. Especially if you give it a good rub on the heel with the crust! An easy way to produce exfoliating breadcrumbs is, I find, to turn your mower (Flymo for me) upside down in the lounge, turn it on ... jam the dead-man's switch firmly down (a retort stand is ideal for this excercise ... if not, any brand of cyano-acrylate based adhesive), and very gently ram the baton into the rotating blades. WARNING! ... do NOT attempt the exfoliating foot-skin process at this point! Unplug the aforementioned Flymo and tread the resultant crumbs into the carpet. I would strongly suggest that it's wise to cover stuff like the telly, computer keyboard, ornamental flowers and furniture with, if not dust-sheets, old bits of newspaper ... to avoid crumbular infestation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shane39 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 If you've got bad feet you can have 'corn on the cob'. And it's best if the cob is Glutoe-free.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Orange Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Imma !!!!!! Imma? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcoblog Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I thought the holes were so the Weavils can get out and wipe their sweating foreheads...... There's no bread weavils in my establishment thank you very much! Mainly thanks to the 'Bread Louse search-and-destroy robots' which patrol the perimeter fence of my facility 24/7. (Unfortunately, these were deployed too late to prevent the 'Richard Dawkins coming for tea/Marmite and peanut butter sandwiches/gum-reconstructive surgery' incident) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shane39 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 There's no bread weavils in my establishment thank you very much! Mainly thanks to the 'Bread Louse search-and-destroy robots' which patrol the perimeter fence of my facility 24/7. (Unfortunately, these were deployed too late to prevent the 'Richard Dawkins coming for tea/Marmite and peanut butter sandwiches/gum-reconstructive surgery' incident) I tried that 'new to the market' bread stocked in Tesco's this morning. It's called 'im too sexy' loaf. It was lovely with soft-boiled eggs,because it's deeply dippy! Think it's made by Right said Bread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeteMorris Posted July 17, 2012 Author Share Posted July 17, 2012 An easy way to produce exfoliating breadcrumbs is, I find, to turn your mower (Flymo for me) upside down in the lounge, turn it on ... jam the dead-man's switch firmly down (a retort stand is ideal for this excercise ... if not, any brand of cyano-acrylate based adhesive), and very gently ram the baton into the rotating blades. WARNING! ... do NOT attempt the exfoliating foot-skin process at this point! Unplug the aforementioned Flymo and tread the resultant crumbs into the carpet. I would strongly suggest that it's wise to cover stuff like the telly, computer keyboard, ornamental flowers and furniture with, if not dust-sheets, old bits of newspaper ... to avoid crumbular infestation. WARNING Not to be attempted by minors. Only experienced exfoliation personnel should attempt this method. In the abscence of such, please use a cheese grater! :hihi: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shane39 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I saw a Thailand crab eating the top of a loaf yesterday. Think it was a crust-asian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shane39 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 If you've got bad feet you can have 'corn on the cob'. Bet you are your mothers pride. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
namtaB Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Bet you are your mothers pride. Now thats using your 'Loaf' sorry sorry sorry..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeteMorris Posted July 17, 2012 Author Share Posted July 17, 2012 Now thats using your 'Loaf' sorry sorry sorry..... You have a habit of repeating yourself! (Dinna Dinna Dinna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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