Overcoming depression without tablets

[charlie_boy]

Hello,

 

My wife is suffering with depression. She has had it a various points in her life since childhood. However not for a good few years. Recently she has been ill and although on the road to recovery i think having things wrong and feeling like she was never going to feel well again has made her go from initially fed up to depressed. She hates when i go to work on nights and cries. We dont have family nearby. She is due to go back to work thursday this week (she is hoping getting back into a routine will help). Last week after a long discussion with the doctor she asked for anti-depressants. Which he gave her citalopram. However she still hasnt started taking them. She said she wants to try without tablets. I think she is also worried about side effects and doesnt want anymore illnesses. Understandably.

She has created herself a little calender of small things to look forward to, things which most people wouldnt class as anything special i suppose, first on the list was tramlines, then today we are off to the park for the afternoon, thursday she starts work, weekend the cinema, tuesday night a football match, sheftival at the weekend etc etc...........

So other than this can you think of anything self helpwise? She doesnt want to see a counsellor. Is the calender/things to look forward to a good or bad idea? Any advice welcome. Nothing expensive as we cant afford holidays at the moment.

 

Many thanks

[Shef_Fitness]

Identify the root cause, and give yourself a goal to aim for.

 

As an example (this doesn't a problem your other half has as she is married) many people become depressed when they are isolated or lonely, and so some start to drink or comfort eat, this leads to other problems such as weight gain, poor body image, and so the person eats/drinkss more and the cycle continues.

 

A way to break the cycle (the example I gave) is to identify the root cause (isolation in this case) and have a goal to aim for. In this example, I would imagine studying would be good. You would give yourself a target in life and be meeting other people on your course, you would then gain futher contacts and your social life would improve, and gaining additional qualifications would also boost your job prospects and boost your self esteem/feeling of self worth.

 

Thats an example

[shuispoo]

In the sort term to get her out of the dip that she is in you are doing the right things, little small steps and small goals to aim for, perhaps she can look at past times when she has been depressed and how she got out of those and that she actually did get out of them - this shows that she will get out of her current depression..

 

remain positive together and use more positive and hopeful language, talk about the near future and what you are looking forward to, learn from the past when better but do not dwell on the past

 

Hope this helps, but you are both doing the right things

[HeadingNorth]

If she has suffered intermittent depression since childhood, it is quite possible - perhaps even probable - that the root cause is a chemical imbalance in the brain, which can only be fixed by medication. Depression brought about by circumstances can be dealt with in other methods - there is no single cure for it that will work for everyone. By all means you should try a tablet-free method if that's what she wants, but be aware that it might be a doomed attempt.

[charlie_boy]

If she has suffered intermittent depression since childhood, it is quite possible - perhaps even probable - that the root cause is a chemical imbalance in the brain, which can only be fixed by medication. Depression brought about by circumstances can be dealt with in other methods - there is no single cure for it that will work for everyone. By all means you should try a tablet-free method if that's what she wants, but be aware that it might be a doomed attempt.

 

Im hoping it wont be a doomed attempt. The depression times shes had havent been longed lived (weeks rather than years). Each time she has felt depressed there always seems to be a trigger. For instance When she was 18 she was attacked and made homeless which led to loneliness as she ended up living on her own far away from friends and family and that was the trigger. This time she has suffered 2 miscarriages in 6 months. Following the most recent one she has had some complications which has left her unfit for work and unfit to leave the house. She is slowly healthwise getting better but is very clingy with me, which i think is fear of losing me as well as our babies. If her depression bouts had been lasting years consistantly i would agree unmedicated is doomed but im hoping this wont be the case.

[HeadingNorth]

Each time she has felt depressed there always seems to be a trigger.

 

That does make it less likely that what I mentioned will turn out to be true. I hope you and she can find a working method; depression is a terrible thing when it strikes, and people who have not personally experienced it really can't comprehend just how bad it can be.

 

"Avoid triggers in future" is fairly useless advice; you need to find a helpful way of dealing with them if and when they do arise. The list of things to look forward to is a great idea; another thing which can sometimes help is keeping a journal of the good things that have happened, so that when she is feeling down, she can re-read it and remind herself that there have actually been times when she felt up. (In the pits of depression, it's easy to start thinking that you have never been happy and never will be happy.)

 

Being able to talk things over with somebody is often helpful; if not a professional counsellor, is there a friend or family member who's particularly empathetic and might substitute? Particularly - in the current instance - if she knows anyone who has suffered miscarriages themselves and can talk about how devastating it was for them (it's always devastating for every woman, I should imagine).

[ronthenekred]

That does make it less likely that what I mentioned will turn out to be true. I hope you and she can find a working method; depression is a terrible thing when it strikes, and people who have not personally experienced it really can't comprehend just how bad it can be.

 

"Avoid triggers in future" is fairly useless advice; you need to find a helpful way of dealing with them if and when they do arise. The list of things to look forward to is a great idea; another thing which can sometimes help is keeping a journal of the good things that have happened, so that when she is feeling down, she can re-read it and remind herself that there have actually been times when she felt up. (In the pits of depression, it's easy to start thinking that you have never been happy and never will be happy.)

 

Being able to talk things over with somebody is often helpful; if not a professional counsellor, is there a friend or family member who's particularly empathetic and might substitute? Particularly - in the current instance - if she knows anyone who has suffered miscarriages themselves and can talk about how devastating it was for them (it's always devastating for every woman, I should imagine).

 

Excellent advise with emphasis on confronting the triggers in a helpful way and logging the more pleasurable times.

[WeX]

Exercise, Sex and Chocolate

[Isabelle]

I am just watching Ruby Wax's programme on Channel 4, it's quite interesting, and will no doubt be available On Demand if anyone else wants to watch it too. It shows that even the most successful people can suffer from depression, even Churchill had it.

I have days when I feel down, but nothing like some of the feelings that have Ruby has described.